章節 204: Chapter - 133: Realization Part 1
A/N:
Hey to all my readers, I know it has been sooooo loooooong. I have to take a very long break for a lot of reasons:
1. My mental and emotional health: I realized after my last update that I have been channeling all my negative feelings and sadness to the story I'm writing so I have to make time and reflect on it. I don't want to go on and see this story getting darker and darker which only reflects to the sadness I was feeling during that time. That is one of the reason why I decided to pause and the take a break just until I'm already feeling positive and happy again.
2. I have to fix my self and my lifestyle: I realized that I have not been living healthy. I'm constantly sleep deprived all because I keep on justifying the fact that I have insomnia and this doesn't really help in making me emotionally, mentally and physically healthy. So I tried my hardest to fix my sleeping hobbit.
I know I made you all wait and I'm really sorry about it. I'll try to make it up to all of you again. Thank you for your patience with my story.
Happy Reading :) !
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Dexter throw the folder he's reading on the table, two weeks since he assumed the position and almost 3 months since Lee's plane went down. All the report of the investigators are all the same. They can't find his husband. The local have stopped the search and rescued operation There were total of 23 missing person in that crash which include his husband everyday Dexter blames himself, everyday he drinks just to help him sleep and everyday he cries. He asked his mother in-law to take care of Lexter. Dexter finally understand that with his current state he won't be a good influence to his son not to mention his fear of seeing any infant.
"Hey, still no luck?" Dexter looked at the man in front of him.
"What do you want?" Dexter annoyingly asked.
"Dexter why don't you let go of your hatred and ask for their help? What happened was an accident. Even if Lee is still alive but with how you are right now, nothing will ever change if you keep doing this! I don't want to invalidate your pain, I know it hurts you a lot but what happened already happened and we can't do anything about it. I'm not forcing you to move on and just forget everything, I want you to forgive those who have caused you, your pain. Try to sit and talk to them about this matter. That's the only way for you to find closure and peace with what happened." For days after his brother's visit, what his brother told him keeps on repeating in his head. Dexter sighed, he wanted peace so before going home he went to see his son, the son he can't bare to take home. He can only take a look at him for a couple of minutes before the image of his baby to resurface again in his mind. He still can't let go of the horror, the fear of seeing your own child struggling to breath and to live but you couldn't do anything about it. "Dexter son"
Dexter turned his head to look at the person who called his name. "Dad."
"Tough day at work?" Dong-ha asked.
"Yeah, I didn't know Lee has been doing this much work and yet he still finds time for me and Lexter, specially taking care of Lexter when I wasn't able to." Dexter whispered.
Dong-ha gave a faint smile, he moved forward and took a peek at his grandchild sleeping soundly inside his toddler crib. "Why don't you stop looking for him now?"
Dexter looked at Lee's father. "To be honest, I really got angry at you putting my son through that misery. Whenever we asks him, he's all smiles — telling us not to worry. He said that you two are just going through some difficult marriage phase, that we just need to understand you. He even covered up for your infidelity towards him, when we asked him about your coldness towards my son, Lee just tells us that you are going through a postpartum depression. Lee always make it seems like he's fine but I'm a parent as well. Though I'm not expressive and I always leave my wife to do the worrying for both Lee and Taekyun it doesn't mean I can't feel their pain."
Dong-ha turn to his side to properly looked at Dexter. "Son, I always show my children how I treat my wife. So that they'll know how to treasure their better half but with what happened to Taekyun I figured that it's not enough to just show them so I told them again and again. Out of them two brothers I thought it will be Lee who will be my problem since he's the trouble maker but it was Taekyun, even when he married you I thought the chances he will cheat on you is high but I never thought it will be you Dexter…."
Dexter tried to shallow the saliva that has been building up inside his mouth that couldn't utter a single word out of the guiltiness.
"I know everything son but we choose to shut our lips, we believe Lee that it was just a phase till now we still believe that it was the case."
"I'm sorry…" the only words that Dexter can utter.
"It's ok like I told you we are no longer angry, we already accepted it. You are also our son and as your father I'm asking you to let my son go. Let Lee find his rest."
Dexter's tears came down one by one, the words of protest he wants to say got stuck to his mouth, the tears came down heavy that he couldn't even hold back his sobs.
Dong-ha hug him. "It's ok, just let it out." When Dexter was done crying and had calmed down Dong-ha invited him to sit to his study room, away from Lexter's room.
"Dexter son, listen to me. I think it would be better if you move out of that house. I can give you a house that is even bigger with the same security as what you have in that house. About the Vice President's position, you can stop going, we can find someone to assume the position till Lexter is in his right age, you will still get the same salary as before. All my son's assets will be yours as Lee's will. Dexter son, go far, travel and fall in love again. If you don't want to take care of Lexter, you can just leave him with us. I don't want you to be tied up of Lee's memories."
Dexter who's head is hanging low as he listens to his father in law, snipped and whipped his tears clean before facing and looking at his father in-law eye to eye. "Dad, there are no words will be enough to say sorry for what I did. I know I shouldn't have put the blame on Lee but I was so broken, I don't know who I can put all of my anger to, my frustrations and my dismay so I put all the blame on my husband and punished him in a way that can make him feel the pain that I'm feeling. About your offer my answer is no. I don't want to give up on my husband, until there's no body I will never stop. For the position, no, I will be taking his position until he comes back or if my son is ready to take his father's position. About Lexter, I don't want to give up on my own son. I love Lexter, just give me time until I'm whole again but it doesn't mean that I'll be abandoning my own child. About replacing Lee, I won't replace him with anyone in this world — not in this lifetime."
Dong-ha got up and raffled Dexter's hair. "I hope that you are right and I am wrong."
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"Teddy?" Taekyun got up when he noticed that his wife is not on their bed. He took his robe and went to look for his wife which he found sitting in the living room facing his laptop.
"Teddy?" Taekyun called his wife to get his attention.
"Tae, have I made you worried?" Theo asked.
Taekyun shook his head in response. "I'm not used to not having you beside me when we sleep." Taekyun said. "So what are you doing?"
"Looking for him." Theo simply answered.
"I know you are worried because he's my brother but we need to stop now Teddy."
Theo smiled at his own husband. "Lee is not just your brother, to me he's my best friend. He's the first one to believe in me, he's the first one who looked at me without judgement and he's the person who looked after me when you all thought that I was already gone. Lee had done so much for me, if I'll stop then who would look for him? Dexter is still in conflict with himself so I'm not really expecting much out from him. I wont put myself in danger, I promise just let me find him."
Taekyun sit beside his wife and hugged him. "Thank you for not giving up on my brother when us his family already accepted and are now trying to move on. To be honest it pains me but I can't show my tears, I can't show that I'm hurting for my brother because my parents will be hurt then. More than me I know they are the ones who are hurting more than ever."
Theo caress his husband head. "No one can measure the pain of each person Tae, you can't say that the pain you feel is not as much as your parents are feeling nor what Dexter feels right now. Pain is pain Tae, you have to let it show, don't let it build up inside. Just cry, I'll be there for you — always."
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Nash let the water run down his wet hands that are in the sink. He is now alone inside a big house built for him by the man who is now his husband. Till now he still can't understand how they ended up in that situation, when clearly he severed his bond from him that almost cost him his life just so he can run away from him. The love he felt for Adrian has been long gone now, ever since he betrayed him. He looked at the wedding ring on his finger. It wasn't his wedding ring from his and Adrian's wedding, it was from Dylan's and his wedding. Even though Dylan is gone now, Nash can't seem to let go. He loved Dylan in a very short time more than the time he spent loving Adrian and yet the man holds more space in his heart more than Adrian have or does Adrian even have a little space in his heart?
He sighed and look at his baby's photo his and Dylan's baby that is now starting to grow as a toddler. If only Dylan didn't die then they would have been a happy family — him and Dylan. If Nash would be honest, he also hate Dylan over the fact the man made him promise to marry the very man who he hate all his heart but it was his husband's dying wish. Dylan was diagnosed with Cirrhosis, it was already late when they found out about it. They tried other treatments but his condition got from bad to worse. It was the darkest time in Nash's life. After Dylan died he got married right away to Adrian. Dylan's family respected their son's decision and supported it as well. They also treat Adrian as their son since the man has been frequently visiting the house of Nash's decease husband. It's like Adrian became Dylan's replacement from their lives and Nash can't accept it.
Nash sighed, he run his wet palms over his face hoping that the cold water will take his mind off away from Adrian and the painful memories of his late husband. People around him praise Adrian for marrying an Omega who has a child from another man but people don't know the thing about him nor Adrian. Nash got pieces of tissue from the island counter to wipe his face. He doesn't know how long can he endure, right now he's focusing in saving money that is unknown to his husband. He manage to land a job that doesn't requires him to go to the office. To Nash it is the perfect job. Once he manages to save the amount he needs he plans to file a divorce and move out with his son. Nash will probably not going to marry again, he plans to live a simple life away from the man who crashed his heart to million pieces.
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"Chard!" A man went to the kitchen when someone shouted his name, it is the only person who ever calls him that and he doesn't know why. He just told him simply that it will be easy for him to know who calls him if he's the only person who ever calls him that. He looked at their low class restaurant that is now full with people, months ago it wasn't the case. The restaurant was already at the verged of closing down but who would have thought that one man can change the fate of it. Richard's family own a small in with a restaurant in it, it is a family business that runs for three generations now but with all the luxurious hotels being built left and right their small business start to go down.
"Chard!" A loud shout again "coming!" He responded, no matter how much they told the man not to shout he still does it from time to time.
"So what is it?" Richard asked. He looked at the man's face and can't get used to how handsome he is, his hair has grown long up to his shoulders and his unshaved beard only ads to his masculinity. He doesn't know that such ragged look can make someone look appealing or maybe the man is just too handsome that no matter how he dress up or look he would still be handsome. "Can you get me those in that list? You just need to get to the port our dealer will handle all that, just make sure it is accurate and also before you go please give this order to table number 5." He said with all seriousness. It still amazes him how his attitude and behavior completely changes whenever he works and when he's outside of his work but no matter what kind of person he is, they own it to him why their small business manage to get a hold not completely closing down.
Richard took the order and went to the table number 5. He put the plates on the table and even though he doesn't want to, he can't help but noticed how pretty the customer is. Even though he's an omega just like him he can't help but feel envious somehow. He looked at the people around and noticed their eyes on the omega who said thank you to him. He wonders if he has anyone with him because in this remote area it would be dangerous if he travels alone, specially with that face.
"Sir I'm sorry but are you alone?" The Richard asked but the customer only answered him with a smile.
"Don't worry I can handle myself." Richard almost got captivated with his beautiful smile but he manage to get a hold of himself so he went on to get what was asked of him. After almost two hours he finally manage to get back.
"Chard you're here! Good get those inside." The man commanded him again.
"Kier! I haven't catch my breath yet and you're asking me to put all these inside? I just want to remind you that I'm not your slave!"
"Yeah yeah we have short man power so if you don't want angry customers coming right at you then you better start moving now." Kier said without looking and just walk back in to the kitchen. It was a busy day and when night time came they finally able to wrap things up. They all live in the far side of the inn which makes things easy for them. When Richard was done he came to look for Kier. He knows where the man is always after their shift is over. He went to that ridge that the man frequented, the ridge that has an overlooking of the sea.
"You're here again." He hit the man's shoulder hard that Kier flinched in pain. "Why are you always here?" He asked.
"I don't know, maybe it somehow makes me feel at home. Looking at the sky, the sound of crashing of the waves to the rocks, and the scent of the trees and sea combined somehow reminds me of my home." He looks at the sky with sadness.
"Hey can you remember anything?" Richard asked,
Kier turned his head and smiled at him beautifully but it still doesn't masked the sadness he has in his eyes. "No I can't but it feels nostalgic though."
"I like you." Richard confessed, "No scratched that, I love you. I think I fell in love with you at first sight." Richard knew from the moment he saw him that he was in love with the man he saved.
"Don't love me, I can't give the love that you want." Kier got up and held his hand to help Richard get up.
"Are you still thinking that maybe there's someone out there who's waiting for you?" Richard asked.
"Nope, he doesn't want me back." Richard couldn't hear the last sentence of Kier so he asked again but Kier went back to his old playful self and another day just went by.
Richard was there again in front of the beautiful omega, it has been like five days now and it seems like the omega keeps on coming to have breakfast but today was different the omega stayed whole day and now he's here to serve him dinner. The omega seems busy doing something, he has been on his laptop the whole day. They are not some high class restaurants so there are few customers who comes to sit on his table to get his attention but the Omega doesn't give them much attention and they themselves decided to just get out of that table. Richard sighed when the Omega wave his hand to send him away.
"I've never seen an omega that looks like a doll." Richard sighed.
"What really! Where?!" One of the cook asked.
"There see him?" The cook look to the direction where he's pointing.
"Wow he looks like a celebrity."
"Right!" Richard agreed.
"Yeah he has been here for days now, eating breakfast." One of the waiters said.
"What do you think he is?" The cook asked. "I mean he could probably a high class hooker."
"But here? I mean with his caliber I'm sure his clients would have been rich people." Richard said. "He wouldn't be able to land a high class person if he stays in this restaurant." He added.
"What if he only eats here because it is cheap here and then he goes there to get a client." Says the waiter. Which they all agreed.
"Or maybe he's here because he's looking for someone and not just to hook up to some rich men."
"No that's highly unlikely to happen, see he's so pretty and he keeps rejecting men that comes at his table." Richard depended his answer.
"Maybe he's just loyal to his husband."
"No!" All three said in unison.
"Who would want to marry an omega?" The cook said.
"We all know that no one wants to get serious to any omegas." The waiter agreed.
"With his face I'm pretty sure that he might have slept with a lot of men and Alphas doesn't want that." Richard added.
"Is that so? Interesting." A baritone voice got them frozen from where they are standing.
"Because I'm married to him and have a wonderful two boys. I'm still hoping to have more babies but his OB-GYN says I need to be patient. Family planning is important to keep the baby healthy and so as the mother." Richard froze to where he's standing. He watched how the Omega they are watching smiled to their direction got up and walk towards them.
"Tae, what are you doing? Are you teasing them?" Richard followed the Omega with his eyes as he walks pass him and talked to someone who's standing behind their backs.
"I'm just being friendly to them." Says the baritone voice from behind.
"Stop teasing them. Go back to our table, I'll be back in a second." Richard looked behind him and saw the beautiful omega kissing a very dashing man and the man went back to his own table.
"It's ok, no need to be afraid, you see me and my husband plans to stay here for a couple of days. Probably a week so we want to check for any available rooms in your in." Richard hands were shaking as he help and assist the Omega.
He watched the omega fill up the form and can't help but admire him.
"Not all omegas are like that, you are an omega yourself so don't put down other omegas who is your own kind."
"I'm really sorry….."
"Theo just call me Theo."
"I'm Richard." Theo smiled at him.
"That's a very pretty name. I love this place, specially the food. The taste reminds me of someone I knew." Richard saw how his smiling face slowly changing. "Anyways I'll be here for quite some time so I do hope you'll take care of me here."
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