章節 12: You can’t look at that

Leaving we walked to the beach. The shore line was short and their were steep cliffs and a shallow rocky grave beneath it. Sitting in the sand next to a mountain edge was oddly relaxing. Funny how feeling so small can be so relieving.

I watch Brooke and Josie run barefooted splashing in the water.

I take out my phone and snap a couple pictures.

Setting back I listen to the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks, I close my eyes breathing the smell of the salty air. The wind blowing my hair making it so unruly.

Looking up to the mountain. I see it. I see my painting.

I pull out my paint markers and sketch pad and began painting the cliff side.

I sat focused for I don't know how long before Josie comes up and scares me.

"BAAHHHH" she grabbed my should shaking

me out of my artistic trans.

"Oh my god, Seri, that's amazing, you painted that just now?"

My heart dropped. She saw it. I started to shake, my heart was pounding, it was like my deepest secret had been revealed and I'd been stripped naked in public.

I rip the picture out and crumble it and through it.

"Why did you do that?" Josie shouted at me.

"Because it's trash now." I was mad, I really enjoyed that painting, it felt good painting it. Like a piece of me was being unlocked.

"Why because I saw it?" She shouted back sounding insulted.

"Yes, because when people see my work

and know its me, they know my secrets. I feel naked and humiliated. I can't look at it now."

"You're ridiculous." Josie said dismissing me. Searching for my painting.

"Don't," I yelled back anxiety building. She can't look at it. She can't!

"No, you threw it away, you said it's trash, well one persons trash is another person's treasure." Josie said finding the picture in a corner stuck in a fishing net.

I get up and start to run to her. But I was too late, she uncrumpled the paper flatting it out.

I stop dead in my tracks.

No…

Josie stares at my soul.

"Jesus fucking Christ Seri. Why don't you show this to the world? This.. this is incredible." She was stammering.

She saw the cliff but it was purple. She saw the sky a smear across the white. The rocks where white and grey. But the was black with strikes on light grey defining the waves as they crash into the rock. She managed to really make a grave yard in the water without a tombstone.

The water seemed to move if you looked in one place long enough. The attention to detail in the rocks and waves was intense. There were streaks of light beaming through the sky. The sun was red falling behind the cliff just as the one we see here.

You could see every grain of rock and dirt that made up the cliff.

"I had no idea."

I crouch down and hold my knees just trying to breathe.

"Why can't I see it?" Josie sounded really hurt.

"Because you know it's me. If you didn't know it was me that painted it, I wouldn't be like this." I said muffled by my knees.

"It's because I feel like I've been stripped naked for everyone to see all my secrets."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know." Josie started to tear up.

Brooke and her bent down to hug me.

Josie whisper softly in my ear.

"Good thing I'm to dumb to be able to read art I can't see your soul."

We all three laughed.

I snorted which only made us laugh harder.

"I'll never look again, even by accident, I'll look away immediately." She said. "No one has seen your art before?"

"No who knows it's me." I said standing up dusting myself off.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked

raising an eyebrow leaning more on one leg crossing her arms.

"I'll come clean. I have TikTok I post my painting on sometimes." I say "But it's under a fake name and no one knows anything except that I'm a tall girl."

"Unbelievable." Josie said throwing up her hands.

"I'm sorry, it's just that they can't see my soul, and I feel like there's someone who needs to see them so I have to post." I was feeling so guilty. "I should have told you guys."

"We love and forgive you." Brooke said giving me a big hug.

"I forgive you by I'm still mad." Josie said.

"I love you guys."

After the hug Brooke shoved me, so I turned to chase her, and she ran away through the sand laughing.

"Hey, what about me?" Josie yells, I run toward the water and grab a hand full of water and throw it in Josies direction.

"Hey, now that's a lethal weapon, it's cold as fuck." She yells at me. When Brooke runs my way I take another handful and throw it at her.

We laugh together loudly and continue to play in the sand.

"Oh shit!" Josie says looking at her watch "It's 6p, the show starts at 9:00pm, and it's 6:13 right now."

"What are you serious?" I ask.

"Yep, well, lets go." Josie responded, "Grab you shit." Josie fold the picture I painted up and stuck it in her purse.

"Fuck you I'm keeping it." Josie turned her nose up to e. Brooke and I just look to each and laugh.

Rushing back to the hotel, we run. It didn't, matter that people stared as we past by, what matter was the fun we were having.

Bursting through the hotel lobby and up the staircase to our room.

"I'm showering first since I ate the longest to do my make up." Josie said upon entering.

"Whatever."

Brooke and I pick out our clothes and accessories we brought form our suit case and discuss my wild untamed hair.

"I want to do something fun with you fiery hair." Brooke said as she twisted my head to the side. "Let me see you're outfit again."

I go and fetch my outfit and bring it over to the bed and lay it out for her to see.

"I've got it. Waves. But but with braids that wrap around the back framing the top of you hair."

"I'm put your turn Seri." Josie said coming out from the bathroom wrapped in the towels. "The floors are heated, which is really freaking cool."

"Okay!" I shout and rush into the bathroom.

In the shower the days event replay in my head.

Lathering the the shampoo into my hair I think about how I reacted to Josie seeing my painting. I can't believe I freaked so badly. I feel so bad. But she knows I don't like it people see my art. If it wasn't for the fact no one knows I'm @fallenfromthestars. You don't know my secrets if you don't know it's me.

Rinsing the conditioner from my hair I soap lather my hands and begin to wash my body.

What was with that guy Lucas at the art museum? I can't believe he gave such an incredible piece of art. Why would he give away something he worked so hard for? None of that made any sense. And he still hasn't texted me.

Rubbing the soap over my breast, suds resting on the tip my my nipple. Take the soap and touching all the surfaces of my body. Rubbing my hands between my thighs, I was the sensitive space between my legs.

Why am I still thinking about him? His good looks. And his eyes. Eyes so deep I could get lost in them. His thick black hair. His plump lips.

Get out of your head. Girl go get ready you have a show.