章節 1: Flower Bud
I was a shadow to his light, a moth to his flames, a star to accompany the brilliance of the moon. My entire existence was to illuminate how dazzling he was, to compare the difference between a genius and a normal person, to sacrifice myself for him.
What I couldn't do, he could do. What I could do, he could do way better than me.
People always said to me;
"Aren't you jealous of him?"
"I heard you guys practically grew up together..It must be hard for you"
"He is always overshadowing you, man..you must be frustrated"
"If I were you, I'd definitely hate him to the bones!"
I will admit. I was indeed jealous and resentful in the past. I used to think it was really unfair. I was definitely doing my best! And yet, why is he better than me!?
Up until I saw him getting whipped by his parents because he only got 99.5 points on a 100 points exam.
Up until I saw him studying until the oil lamp went out.
Up until I saw him crying silently because of too much pressure.
Up until I saw the light in his eyes dimmed slowly and slowly.
Up until I saw his sincere smiles became superficial.
I was wrong. The life of a genius is more difficult than common people since they had an additional reputation to uphold as a 'genius'. The whole world was watching him every minute, every second of his life. Even if he made one tiny mistake that can be shrugged off if common people made them, he would drown in their spit instead.
Those feelings of jealousy slowly turned into pity.
Season changed and leaves fall by. With the passage of time, those flower buds bloomed into genuine fondness. I don't even know when did I fall for him. When I realized…I was already in love with him.
It just felt so natural like it should be a matter of course. Just like clear water flowing down from the mountain, just like the heart constantly beating rhythmically, just like animals unconsciously breathing for survival.
I feel intoxicated without drinking just by being near him. It was the happiest yet the saddest moments of my life.
Because I know we weren't meant to be.
Because it was a one-sided love on my part.
Because our status differs so much.
He's the only young master of the aristocratic family while I'm only a servant.
We may grow up together but that's only because his parents, my masters wanted a loyal life-long slave for him.
Since they're from a noble family, they didn't want a slave who has an ugly disposition to not disgrace them.
So, they bought me at the high-end auction house, who looked quite pleasant and obedient to the eyes. Because I am yet still a child, they paid a considerable price for me, winning over other high-ranking nobles.
That way, they can mold me any way they want with any method they like; a servant who would never disobey them or their child.
They raised me along with their child. Though I am just a mere servant to them, they never treat me badly or abuse me. When they found out their child treated me like a friend, their treatment also improved.
They smiled at me whenever they saw me although, there wasn't any warmth behind them. It doesn't matter.
That all changed when he turned 11.
He suddenly fainted during his fencing class. They panicked and immediately invited the head doctor from the renowned hospital only to find out he had congenital heart disease.
He needed to have surgery or he wouldn't live over 20. Unluckily or luckily, his blood type was one of the rarest ones in the country but as fate would have it, we have the same blood type.
Masters immediately scheduled the surgery but the doctor advised we were both not ready for it. His body wouldn't survive the surgery. And my heart was not unhealthy but it's not healthy either.
The doctor gave out the date to when he turned 18. At that time, his body will be stronger to brace for the impact of the surgery and I, I will become the perfect fresh organ donator for him.
The doctor never once looked me in the eyes while discussing with my masters. They took my blood and transfused them to his unconscious body, and said this was to be done once a week until he was ready for surgery.
As soon as the doctor went back, they immediately adopted me as their child. With their noble surname branded within my name, they showed the world that they valued me as much as their child.
With their noble surname branded within my name, they showed me they valued me as much as their child.
With their noble surname branded within my name, they gave me a death sentence.
When he woke up, I have already become his legal sibling. But instead of being unhappy and displeased because I took what belonged to him, he gave me a smile so silly I can't bear to look at him straight.
Because whenever he gave me that silly smile of his, my heart ached unbearably.
Because my heart wasn't only mine anymore and it was also his, I was concerned if something was wrong with my heart due to sudden heartaches, I told this matter to his parents the next day when he wasn't around.
Since he and I became really good friends, his parents were concerned he wouldn't accept the surgery if he knew they were from mine. And, I also wanted him to live.
Thus, we reach an agreement not to tell him and when the time comes, they'll tell him I bought myself back and decided to leave him.
When I told them why my heart ache, they weirdly looked each other in the eyes. Only the mistress smiled strangely and told me to spend more time with him.
Of course, at that time I had no idea what that means.
I just thought they took pity on me and told me to spend the rest of my time with my only friend because I'm a death row prisoner.
Indeed, the older the ginger, the spicier it gets.
They told me to spend more time with him, so I would get more attached to him, more unbearable to leave him, more infuriated with him.
To let myself willingly sacrifice for him.