章節 364: Chapter 364
Pearl sobbed in the car. Jim tried to console her.
"Listen. I am a man. My job, from when I was very young, was to take care of things. Work. Be strong. Protect. And as we get older, making love and being able to play the male role is very important to us. It is what drives us, makes us feel useful. Sebastian is dealing with a huge loss here. Very big. He is losing his purpose. You have to understand how awful that is for him. He's in shock, in a way." Jim explained.
Pearl lifted her eyes to Jim's and looked at him.
"I don't care." She said.
Jim looked back at her and tried again to help her to see what was going on.
"He didn't mean it. Any of it. His life has been completely disrupted. Give him some time." Jim said.
"That was awful. His life, we are his life. Our children." She said. "He had no right to say that to me."
Jim nodded in understanding. He knew Pearl would never fully understand the pain Sebastian was feeling. But he also knew how much what he had said back there had hurt her.
They got back to the palace and Pearl went to her room.
"What's wrong?" Tia asked. Dylan walked in holding Christian.
"Is everything ok?" He asked.
"No." Jim said. Dylan handed Christian to Tia and sat down next to Jim.
"It involves you so I will tell you." Jim said. He filled him in on everything.
"Oh God." Dylan said, shaking his head. He knew he had to tell her now. There was no other option. He walked upstairs and knocked on her door.
"I need some time. Please." She said.
"Pearl, it's me. I need to talk to you." Dylan said.
"It's not a good time, Dylan." She said.
"I went to the hospital. The day before Sebastian decided to finally do something. I told Sebastian that if he didn't get his ass out of bed, that I would take you from him." Dylan said.
There was silence on the other end of the door.
"Pearl? Pearl I'm so sorry. I was honestly just trying to help. I feel terrible about it. I didn't know that else to do!" Dylan said.
Pearl sat on the bed, silent. She was processing what he was telling her. How could he? How could he say that to a man that was in such pain? She thought.
"Pearl. Listen to me. He said the same thing to Erik. A long time ago when I was in the room. I thought maybe it would help him to see what he had. To find some reason, any reason at all, to get up and get back to you." Dylan said. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done it."
Pearl couldn't believe it. It took Dylan going there and threatening to take her for Sebastian to care enough to fight for her. She sat there a little longer and finally got up and opened the door.
Dylan looked at her, completely wrecked. She looked awful, too. But she was still so beautiful with her swollen eyes and pale skin, he thought. God he loved her so much.
"Come in." She said to him. He nodded and entered as she closed the door behind him.
"Did you mean it?" She asked. He looked down as he pulled his hair straight blonde hair behind his ear.
"Yes." He said. "But that wasn't the motivating factor. I promise you. I wanted him to know I meant it. I wanted him to realize what he had was rare, so rare. And so special. And that others saw it. Another man saw it. I wanted to put him back in that place where he was with Erik. But it wasn't the right thing to do. I see that now and I am so sorry. I will go and talk to him. Pearl, I didn't want to make this harder on you, I swear." He said, pacing the room and looking at her with so much anxiousness and worry.
"Dylan." She said. He paced more. "Dylan it's ok." She said.
He stopped and looked at her.
"I know you were trying to help. I do." She said.
He walked to her and put his hands on her arms, pulling her to him.
"I'm so sorry. I will go and talk to him." He said.
"No." She said. "I don't want you to."
"Well, how do we fix this? What do we do now?" He asked, running his hands through his hair.
She looked into his eyes and said, "There is nothing to fix." And kissed him. She kissed him on the mouth and it wasn't how she normally kissed him, breaking away quickly. She kept her mouth on his and brought her hands to the back of his head, on her tip toes. He kissed her back. His brow furrowed and his entire body feeling the relief of feeling her that close again. After a moment, he broke away.
"This is wrong. However badly I want it. However good it feels, it's wrong." He said, taking her face into his hands and looking into her eyes. "I don't care what he told you to do. This isn't the way to go about it." He said.
She looked at him, deeply into his eyes and said, "I don't care." And kissed him again. She didn't care. If Sebastian wanted to hurt her, if he wanted her to do this, then fine. She would. She had wanted Dylan, too. Maybe it was wrong but she wanted to feel again. She ran her hands up his shirt, touching his chiseled abs and his warm skin. He responded with a moan. He cupped her breast and kissed her, opening her mouth with his and plunging his tongue inside. The heat and the want between them was almost unbearable. Then he stopped again.
"No. I can't do this. I'm sorry." He said. Pearl wiped her mouth and sat down on the bed.
"You have no idea, none at all how badly I need the release of being inside of you. Of being that close to you again. It has been building for so many years. So much want. So much yearning. How I long for you, Pearl. But I will be goddamned if I am just a pawn in this for you. A way to hurt him and a way to feel wanted. It's selfish, Pearl. I know I got myself into this but I can't make love to you without having all of you, forever. I can't put myself through that again. And if you loved me, you wouldn't want me to." He said. He pulled himself together and said, "You need to learn how love, Pearl. And you need to start with yourself. Make up your mind about who you are and what you want before it's too late. Life is short and you have three little kids to think of. What life do you want for them? For me? For you? I will rip my own heart out before I ever let you destroy me again." He left the room, leaving her in silence.
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