章節 256: A Romp with Uncle Aiden
I don't own Star Wars
Oriana stepped out of Kal's room, which coincidentally used to be Roland Fireman's room. But since he moved in with HIS family of ladies and weirdos, it was converted into a guest room. "So… what's up. He asleep?" Lala leaned against the door as Oriana sighed.
"Yeah he's taken his medicine conks him right out. The wound is looking better. Healing." She noted Lala sighed.
"We should do something." Lala replied, "Something productive. I'm getting SO bored just sitting around and writing in a journal that nobody is going to read!"
"You're free to do what you like but I'm going to wait on Kal." She said, specifically tending to his every need.
"Milky happily offered." Noted Lala as Oriana glared at her. "FINE… maybe I'll bother traps in his lab."
"Good luck getting in there." Oriana noted softly, "Whatever he's working on has really riled him up I haven't seen him this excited in a long time."
"…I mean it's not like we ever see his face." Grinned Lala, but she quickly sighed again. "Okay so if you're not up for any FUN maybe I'll try Nerri."
"She's with Yura, they went into town." Lala grumbled quietly.
"Lidia?"
"Meditating in Yura's garden with T2, but I don't think you'll get anything out of her."
"Oh come on, when did you all get so damn domestic!" she groaned, "…There's nothing to DO here… and I can't even DO Kal to pass the time." She sighed again, "I'm a city girl I'm not made for the country life."
"So. What I'm hearing…" smirked Aiden Firemane, sliding invasively around the corner. "Is that you want some bonding time with your uncle." He said cheekily only for Lala to snort, trying not to laugh.
"…Do you know how creepy that sounds?" she asked hesitantly. Especially since Aiden wasn't wearing a shirt.
"It did indeed sound better in my head." He noted. Currently, Aiden was indeed shirtless and for a man in his sixties… not bad. But then again he also had the benefit of highly advanced technology, good genes, and consistently banging the HELL out of Milky and Yura and whomever else made it to his bed was GREAT for the heart. "BUT my offer still stands."
"Why are you shirtless?" Oriana asked tiredly as Aiden raised an eyebrow at her.
"Ori, You're lucky I'm wearing pants." He replied frankly as a foxy Milky jiggled out of a nearby bedroom, kissed her husband and wiggled away. Clearly just finishing 'doing the deed'… It would be weird to think about if Milky didn't have the body of a woman half her age. "Come on Lala." He winked at her and tilted his head. "As luck will have it. My buddy Urai wants me to help him with something, let's go bond."
"Be careful Aiden." Milky declared as Aiden shrugged.
"Well if my Niece came with me you would not be so worried." Oooh Guilt tripping, that'll do it.
"…Okay Sheesh. At least it'll get me out of the house." she replied as Aiden grinned, already heading back into his room to get his things as Lala waited for him. Oriana notedly walked away, tapping away on her datapad as Lala pouted, waiting for her 'Uncle Aiden' to come back out… then after a moment.
"You know. Genetically? You're actually my brother, you know that right?" she noted with a grin that, unbeknownst to her, she shared with her 'uncle/brother'
"Half Brother. Yeah." He replied, "Your mom is my half sister-"
"Yeah I know the family tree." She replied quickly, "…Trust me I wouldn't be sleeping with Kal if I didn't do a thorough pruning of it. I'm not one of those WEIRD Zeltron girls who are into incest."
"There are a lot of those." Mumbled Aiden absently, before soon walking out of his bedroom. "…Your mother hit on me once or twice before I explained to her that we're related."
"Eww. I didn't need to know that." Lala replied frankly, Silver Fox or not it was still kinda gross. Aiden donned his wide-brimmed trademarked red hat, and brushed his red duster away from his blasters as they walked down the stairs together and out the back towards his Ship the Scarlet Rebel (II).
"Yeah it took me awhile." Aiden noted, "We kept shooting at each other since I stopped her from killing her father. But eventually, we got to talking, sending lifeday cards. She used to show up now and again."
"She does?!" Lala replied in surprise as they sat in the Scarlet Rebel (II)'s cockpit.
"Oh yeah. Talks about you all the time." He smirked.
"I don't believe you." She said frankly as Aiden laughed.
"But I'm so honest!" he slowly revved up the ship, hearing it purr as he glanced at her. "She DID talk about you a few times." He noted, "Usually positive. Because and I quote. I can't complain about her daughter when she's a literal clone of me!' or something like that... it's been awhile to be fair"
"That was a terrible mom impression." Lala smiled as Aiden just shrugged.
"What can I say? Milky's side of the family got all the acting talent." He noted, as slowly the Rebel rose into the air and up into the atmosphere."
"So what does Urai want with you?" Lala leaned on the console as Aiden flew off Luna IV and punched in the coordinates for Tattooine. "…Moonlighting as a Jewel bouncer?" she teased cheekily
"Only every other week." He grinned just as cheekily… notedly, neither confirming nor denying. "Nope. We're going hunting…"
"Bounty Hunting!?" she replied excitedly.
"Actual hunting." He replied calmly as Lala sighed.
"Oh… goody." She pouted, "Why does he need your help with that? Any cheap gunslinger could pop a womp rat."
"We're hunting Krayt Dragons." Aiden said before hitting Hyperdrive.
"Wait, what?!"
ZOOOM!
…
"Aiden." Urai-Ken, leader of the Ken clan of Mandalorian's greeted Aiden Fondly, bumping fists as Aiden descended the ramp of the Scarlet Rebel with Lala eagerly behind him armed with a VERY big gun that Aiden just had lying around in the Scarlet Rebel. It used to belong to his third wife Newt… but she found a bigger gun. Usually she finds a bigger gun that's why Aiden has so many of them. "…Isn't she a bit young for you?" he noted cheekily, as Aiden rolled his green eyes.
"She's my niece."
"I'm also, technically, his half-sister." Declared Lala excitedly.
"Ah… Lala Lacine?" he noted, and Lala was a little flattered that he knew her.
"Tracey Lacey Lacine." She replied, "Lala is my nickname… well, TRA-Lala but-"
"Uh Huh." Urai jerked his head away from the ship, "We can walk and talk. Ready for Dragon hunting?" he added but, for an older man he sounded almost like a giddy schoolboy looking at his first Zeltron, he hid it well.
"So this is just a thing? Krayt dragon hunting?" asked Lala, jogging behind him and Aiden as Urai shrugged.
"Well they're usually not a problem unless you go into their territory… barring the occasional livestock snatch. But this one's been branching out. I won't bore you with Krayt dragon habits, but we think it recently lost a territory fight and is looking for a new hunting ground. PARTICULARLY close to the Jewel, and we can't have that." he clapped his hands together, rubbing them eagerly. "We're eating good tonight."
"Assuming we catch it." Aiden grinned.
"Don't be weird of course we'll catch it." replied Urai confidently, "I already have half the clan out scouting its lair." He then plucked an odd device and waved it at Aiden, "All armed with a good old fashioned Short-round tech. Senses the vibrations in the sand."
"No kidding?" Lala replied impressed as Urai sighed. "As easy as that?"
"I wish… he yelled at me for HOURS in inexplicable detail as to how it works and I still don't know."
"Well you're making this sound so easy, now I feel like we're cheating and I over-prepared." She said as they arrived at a landspeeder with a tiger-stripped helmeted Mandalorian. He rested his hand on his blaster as they approached but Urai quickly waved him down.
"Aiden you know Ryuai, but if you haven't met him Lala. This is my Nephew." He said politely, "It's his first Krayt Dragon hunt. And for the record…" he said, taking Lala's very large rifle to store it into the speeder. "Despite our preparations, all our tools and equipment. Krayt Dragons are still apex predators of Tattooine." He said seriously, "Even a tiny one could easily destroy the entirety of Mos Eisley in hours, some of them get bigger than Star Destroyers. Blaster-resistant hide, acidic spit, and an insatiable hunger for MEAT when awake." He slammed the trunk down. "…Every single Mandalorian on this mission volunteered because I expect at least a half dozen will die." He declared morbidly.
Lala fidgeted nervously, but Aiden slapped her back lightly, "In the car Lala." He said before smacking Urai on the arm. "Seriously? I'm trying to bond here."
"And you invited her on a krayt dragon hunt?" Urai noted as Aiden shrugged.
"…You brought YOUR nephew I wanted to bring mine!... except she's my niece."
"Mine's a Mandalorian… and it was that-" he whispered, "Or let him keep drooling over Aphrodite all damn day." He grumbled as Aiden grinned.
"At least he has good taste… MY cathar's a sexy bitch too."
"Are you old geezers going to keep chatting or are we going HUNTING today!?" declared Lala indignantly, getting in the front seat as Ryuai slipped into the driver's seat.
"…And she has a mouth on her." he noted sarcastically as Aiden grinned.
"She's Lacroix's daughter." Urai groaned, as Ryuai hit the speeder into gear and sped off across the dunes.
They drove on for almost an hour, the twin suns lowering further in the sky to send a dusky red light over the sands just as towering sandstone hills rose in the distance. Urai handed something to Aiden before pointing to his ear. Aiden slipped it in his own, before he then did the same to Lala, who took a moment to understand what he wanted. Then did the same.
"Can you hear me? My men tracked it into those rocks, but they've yet to find its lair." He said, "Too much interference and too many dangerous paths."
"I feel like we should've just blasted it from orbit." Declared Lala as all three men in the speeder, even Ryuai driving it, glared at her. "What?"
"Krayt dragons burrow." Replied Urai, "You'd have to blast those rocks for hours before even attempting to hit it underground, and probably by then it would've slithered off somewhere. No. We have to lure it to the surface and kill it above ground. And hope it's a dumb one."
"…Hope it's a dumb one?" Lala asked as she began to notice a camp at the base of the rocky protrusions from the sand as the speeder skidded to a stop just outside of it. About 3 dozen Mandalorians wandered around the camp, prepping weapons, and explosives, and one unlucky fellow was trying to herd a dozen nerfs in a pen… to mixed results.
But they all saluted once Urai got out of the speeder. "Traxer, Flake, quit sitting around and help Benza or we're going to need fresh bait." Apparently, Traxer and Flake were quick to realize who was going to BE that bait and quickly went to help Benza. "Cro'vix help Toodoota and ready the explosive. A scarred twilek quickly went to help a… wookiee female in slapdash Mandalorian armor in preparing satchel charges. "Varrix?"
"We've yet to get eyes on it." declared a gravelly-voiced Mandalorian in a jetpack. "But all the instruments say it's here."
"And the camp?" asked Urai as Varrix stomped his foot in the sand, before sweeping it aside revealing solid rock.
"Best we could do." He declared, "There's no better location nearby but if it REALLY tried it could easily swallow us." He then turned to Aiden and Lala, who was hauling out her very big new gun.
"Varrix. Aiden." Urai gestured between them.
"…Bounty hunters?" Varrix replied dismissively but Urai glared at him, even under the blue helmet… the glare silenced Varrix.
"Torga's top hunter." then gesutred to Varrix adding, "He's new-" Just as Aiden interrupted him.
"Retired." Corrected Aiden cheerfully.
"Semi-retired." Urai corrected HIM quickly and Aiden sheepishly conceded his point. "And his niece."
"and what exactly are they going to do?" Varrix asked almost coldly but turned to Urai. "The walking bombs will be more than enough." He said as, to Lala's correct assumption, they started strapping said bombs to nerfs…
…Good thing they were using nerfs, they were dumber than the average pack animal, imaging using BANTHAS for that, those guys are smart. That's why is My Little Bantha, not My Little Nerf.
"The walking bombs will make it come to the surface." Aiden noted, "You need a BIG boom from the inside to kill most Krayt dragons." As everyone looked at him, "at best they'll wound it greatly, forcing it to surface but I'll still be angry… and probably try to kill anything and everything in the immediate area." Even Lala seemed impressed. "So once it does we blast it, a lot, and try to kill it the rest of the way before it has a chance to realize it just took one hell of a stomach bug."
"…Sometimes I forget that you are actually capable of planning." He noted Aiden just shrugged. "The nerfs are the first step." He then pointed to one of the MANY passes leading into the craggy terrain. "Set up heavy weaponry around that area, then send the nerfs in one at a time."
Varrix saluted as Lala rested the but of her new big gun into the sand. "Dibs on one of those spots!" he replied.
"Better pick on out then." Ordered Urai as Lala sighed, lifted the gun again and went to go find a good one with a great vantage point. "Going to be with your niece?"
"Yeah I think my running from krayt dragon days are over." He noted with a slight laugh, before absently moving over to the armory and picking out a particularly impressive-looking heavy blaster rifle, "I'm just going to borrow this." He said as Urai smirked under his helmet.
"If you want to argue with Toodoota, sure." Aiden then put the blaster back down and grabbed another. "That one's fine." Aiden clapped a hand on his blue shoulder and walked off to join Lala.
…
"I am SO. Bored…" groaned Lala as the starry sky on a tattooine at night loomed over head, "It's been an HOUR…" she groaned. They had sent the nerfs into the pass, one after the other in an attempt to 'lead a trail' back out the same why where everyone was ready to blast it. Aiden sighed and glanced almost fondly at her.
"Aren't you a sniper? You're trained to wait."
"My MOM is a sniper! I am not… I didn't have the patience for it."
"Fair enough." Aiden noted, resting his rifle on a nearby rock. "How is your mother?"
"She's fine. Working for Babayaga last I checked." She mumbled, "…She says it's a cakewalk."
"I imagine. Babayaga doesn't do much these days." Aiden noted lazily, he kept on eye on the pass just in case, noticing the mandalorians barely moving from their own nests. "And yet your mother still manages to find ways not to talk to me." Aiden sighed, glancing up at the stars. "…Probably because I know she killed our father." He added absently as Lala blinked at him. "…Call me old fashioned." He shrugged, "I think that she thinks I'm angry with her for that."
Lala blinked at him, Tohmas Lacine was a touchy subject with her mom… but at the same time, she made it very clear she hated his guts. "Did you like him or something?" she asked as Aiden laughed.
"Ha! Ha! NO!" he declared with a wide grin, "That asshole?! NOBODY could spend two minutes with him without hating him." he sighed fondly, "…Just let your mother know next you see her that I'm not angry with her alright? Tell her to come around the house… I'll put on pants." Lala raised an eyebrow at him. "…Funny story-" he began only to hear a low rumble in the distance that sounded distinctly like a 'boom'. "I'll tell you later-" he said seriously as a ROAR echoed into the night and he aimed at the pass. Lala doing the same.
The ground began to shake, the sands began to shift, and the lone nerf in the middle of the killing ground looked up, blinked stupidly, and went back to shuffling in the sand. Before it vanished as it was swallowed whole by a massive Krayt dragon breaching the surface, its mouth spewed flames as the nerf exploded. It roared in anger and pain as the mandalorians, Aiden, lit it up with blaster fire. Jet troopers hovered around it, firing and circling to confuse it as it began to trash it's maw and head sending a splattering of acidic spit and blood until some unlucky mandalorians. Only one out of four managed to dive out still alive from the nest.
"And you are not shooting, why?!" asked Aiden curiously as Lala stared at the beast as it picked a new target, but before it could doom those particular mandalorians to their doom a trio of jetpack troopers distracted it. Wheeling it away towards… "Ah that guys a DICK." he cursed spitefully as Varrix deliberately lead it towards their nest. Aiden stood up, as Lala remained calm, aiming her big new rifle. "Lala. Time to move." He said calmly, but seeing her stay in place he resigned himself to trying to defend his niece, opening fire on the Krayt dragon as Lala, finally… squeezed the trigger.
The big rifle sent a massive BURST straight toward the Krayt dragon's right eye. It roared in pain as she destroyed it with one shot, "HAH! Got it-WHOA!" Aiden grabbed her and dragged her out of the nest as the Krayt dragon rampaged angrily through it, continuing to thrash as they tumbled down the sand dune sending it everywhere as they hit the bottom. Aiden stared at her.
"…You just really wanted to shoot that thing in the eye didn't you?"
"I wanted to brag to mom about it." she replied with a shrug as he grinned and slapped her shoulder. She slapped him back good-naturedly.
"Aiden!" Urai on a speeder bike suddenly swirled to a stop next to him, and grabbed an heavy launcher from the back, handing it to Aiden. "You alright?"
"Still in one piece. My niece shot an eye out." He added teasingly but still proud.
"Uh huh. Help me kill it would you?" he then hauled another heavy launcher off the bike. "If you want to eat tonight."
"Medium rare." He said as together they walked around the dune. Urai tapped his helmet. "Varrix bring it back." He said, as the jet troopers, clearly running out of fuel lead the krayt dragon back towards the killing field as Urai and Aiden, aimed the launchers… and fired.
Its mouth opened wide to ride… and they blew its brains out the back of its head... mostly… it was still running full speed, and momentum wasn't slowing it down. "Ah fuck!" Aiden and Urai dropped their launchers and ran out of the way as it came to a dead stop in the killing field… Lala sat at the head of her uncle and Urai, both of whom were lying in the sand face down…
"…I should wear a helmet." Mumbled Aiden lazily as URai pulled his out of the sand, no problem.
"Not done from running from Krayt dragons yet." He grabbed Aiden's red coat and dragged him out of the sand. "Dragon steak tonight!" he said clapping Aiden's back as he crawled forward and sat next to Lala, the mandalorians cheering as Lala smirked… Ryuai stood proudly in the open mouth of the dead dragon before venturing inside only for Urai to drag him back out.
"So. Did you have fun with your uncle?" he asked as the bonfires started going and the vibroblades started slicing. Lala stretched and wrapped an arm around her old uncle's shoulders.
"Let's go kill more things together." She said happily as Aiden smirked.
"…You know we got time before we have to go back." He added as Lala grinned.
"I've ALWAYS wanted to kill a rancor!" she declared as Aiden nodded, to the increasingly delicious smell of fresh dragon steak.
"…Urai knows a guy."
End
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