章節 75: CH73: PSYCHE EVAL.
This is a passion work. So, I would really appreciate it if you leave behind a review when you're done reading.
***
CH73: PSYCHE EVAL.
Korede got to the hospital. After a short conversation with the nurse at the front desk, he received directions to the venue of his check-up.
After about an hour, he was done. He had taken the opportunity to also carry out all the tests according to standard procedure, even the drug test.
Before he left, he went to see the other members of the Bravo team, however, they weren't in their wards. So, he left the hospital and went back to the camp.
An officer was already waiting for him to do the debrief. The debrief was lax, though all the relevant and required questions were asked and information given.
At least, Korede felt it was more relaxing than the debrief he gave after Operation CatchingFire.
Once done, Korede was about to leave when the officer said,
"The commander said to tell you that your Psychologist is here for you."
"Psychologist?" Korede asked, confused.
"It's standard procedure to talk to one after your first Op solo or as a commando. After subsequent missions, you can decide whether or not you want to see one."
"Alright, sir. Thank you." Korede said as he saluted.
The officer just smiled in response as he watched the youth leave.
Arriving in front of an office, he opened the door to see a familiar face. It was his aunt and Late Second Lieutenant Balogun-Keshinro's mother, Bisola Balogun-Keshinro.
Korede was initially surprised to see her but he recalled she was one of the in-family psychologist used by a lot of the Balogun Family members. Not only that, but she had also been Korede's psychologist for as long as he could remember.
From an early age, Bisola Balogun would meet Korede and talk with him. Over time, he began to open up to her. Even when she finally revealed to him that she was acting as his psychologist when he was older, Korede didn't mind. She was one of the people that helped him through the tough Oro-Akogun Training regimen, especially in his early teens when he felt like giving up.
Aside from this, she had also helped him a lot in other aspects of his life outside training. Therefore, outside of his immediate family, she was one of the few important people to him.
This was also part of the reason Korede and Kunle's bond was so strong. The strength of this family tie also exists between Korede and Bisola's daughter, Kike.
Korede walked in and they shared a hug.
"When I was told to see a psychologist, I wasn't expecting you, Aunt B." Korede said.
"No need to be surprised. Most members of the Family use in-family psychologist such as myself. So, since I've been your psychologist for years and I possess the necessary security clearance, your brother called me in." Bisola explained.
Korede nodded.
"Alright, let's get started." She said
The two moved to the furniture in the office.
Bisola sat on a one-sitter leather chair while Korede laid on a sofa facing her.
Bisola knew Korede was comfortable talking to her as this was the usual posture he took whenever they were about to discuss something he was comfortable discussing. This had been his habit since he was young and now, even as an adult, it hadn't changed.
So, this caused a smile to involuntarily make its way to her lips.
Bisola: "Let's start with something simple. How do you feel after completing your mission?"
Korede didn't immediately answer as he looked at the ceiling. After a while,
Korede: "Honestly, I don't know. A part of me doesn't like the way the Op ended. Another part of me feels relieved."
Bisola: "Why is that?"
Korede didn't answer. Instead, he asked, "How much do you know about the Op?"
Bisola smiled and showed him a file. It was the complete report of the Op, though some lines were redacted. However, there was enough information for one to piece together the events that took place during the Op.
Bisola: "I know your mission was to eliminate the Duke and his NDz. I also know you took the mission because the NDz had something to do with Kunle's death. Don't worry. I have enough clearance to know whatever you'll say. Is that enough?"
Korede nodded his head.
Korede: "I don't like the way the Op ended because I wanted to kill him personally. After everything he had done… everything his group had done. More importantly, after everything I had done… the people I had killed… the person most responsible for all of that, I had to let go. He gets to live while the others died. I couldn't stand it." Korede said with a lot of emotion.
He released a breath and continued, "However, I also felt relieved at the same time because I have no idea what I would have become if I had killed him there and then. Deep down, I know the main reason I wanted to kill him was because of the role the NDz played in our previous Op but I know the Duke probably didn't know things were going to go down the way they did. So he doesn't carry the blame for the Op. However, since I wanted someone to pay, I convinced myself that I went after him because of all the crimes he had committed but deep down I knew that wasn't it. So, if I had killed him, I felt like I would be consumed by my quest for… Vengeance.
So, I was relieved because I felt like I protected a piece of myself that I would have lost."
Bisola waited for him to calm down a little before she asked, "You mentioned the things you did and the people you killed, do you regret what you did?"
"No, I don't." Korede answered almost immediately. "I believe everything I did was just and right. Perhaps, I might have been heavy-handed in my actions but I'll never doubt that, or regret if, anything I did was right."
Bisola nodded before moving on.
Bisola: "I see here that your kill count is above twenty. Some might consider that a lot for your first mission. How do you feel about that?"
Korede sat up.
Korede: "I know I should feel something after killing around thirty people but I feel nothing. Perhaps because I feel they deserve it. That said, I won't lie, I'm worried about how calmly I'm taking it. I killed and caused the death of such a number of people, yet I don't feel even the slightest remorse or anything like that. Just that it's unfair that they died and the Duke gets to live."
Bisola: "The Balogun Family prepares its members going into the military for such events. Do you think it's due to the Family's training that you feel this way? After all, you received far more training, including in this regard, from the Family than any other member in your generation."
Korede silently thought about it.
"Nature or Nurture?" He murmured.
Eventually, he shook his head.
Korede: "I don't think it's the Family's nurture or training. I believe it has to do with my nature." He replied.
Bisola: "Why do you think so?"
Korede: "I don't know. It's just a gut feeling. However, I don't think I'm a psychopath, nor even a sociopath."(1)
The session continued for another thirty minutes before the session ended.
Towards the end, the two talked about mundane things and about family.
The last thing they talked about was the upcoming anniversary of the Alpha team's death.
With the session over, Korede left for the barracks.
After choosing a bed and keeping his belongings, he took a shower before once again heading to the hospital to check on his team.
**
It had been a tough but rewarding couple of days for the Bravo team members stuck in the hospital. With nothing to do but chat with family members when they came to visit during the visiting hours, each person was able to focus on controlling their Will abilities.
Thanks to the advice from Colonel Balogun, they were now all able to switch on and off their abilities at will. Some of them had even started to discover new things about them, possibly leading to new ways of applying them.
With their Will Abilities under control, each of them returned to their peak physical performance. With the added 'motivation' they got from being left behind by Korede, who went to deal with the NDz on his own, the team breezed through and completed their physiotherapy.
They had also just finished their Return-to-Duty physical exam which they all passed. They could now return to active duty whenever their recovery leave ended.
They were returning to their ward when they saw a familiar figure in the ward shared by the males through the glass walls.
Korede had been waiting for their return. He had been told by a nurse that the team had gone for their physical exams and would be returning soon. So, he decided to wait.
Not too long later, the team arrived.
Korede turned around and saw his team behind him. He smiled.
"I hear you guys are back to shape. I expected you to take longer."
"Yeah right. That's rich coming from a guy who got out of the hospital just a few hours after waking up from a coma." Temitope Lawal said.
Korede chuckled. "You heard about that?"
"How could we not."
The team moved into the ward and sat on the beds.
"So how does it feel to single-handedly take down the second biggest gang in the country?" Champion Onuoha asked intrigued.
"Can't believe you went and got payback on your own" Mary Izamoje said.
"I didn't have a choice. I couldn't wait." Korede said, shaking his head.
"The higher-ups initiated the Op and I was asked if I wanted to take it. So, I did. Better one of us than someone else, right?" He said.
The team members nodded in response.
"As for how it felt, it was exciting at the time but now, I just feel normal." Korede said.
The team obviously didn't believe him as they looked at him in 'disdain'. Though they had nodded earlier, they had the same thoughts in their heads.
'You expect us to believe you don't feel anything? When you single-handedly took down one of the biggest gangs in the country? Do you think you're talking to kids?'
Anyway, seeing that he didn't want to say much about the Op, the team didn't pursue the matter anymore.
They shifted their attention to a more crucial matter as Fatima said,
"Something weird had been going on with us since we woke up. Colonel Balogun said you would explain it to us when you got back."
[A.N: Please, don't forget to leave a review of the work to encourage me. Your opinion matters to me.]
AUTHOR'S NOTE/RAMBLING
1 Just wanted to point out. A psychopath is someone with Anti-Social Personality Disorder(ASPD) who behaves in an amoral way, lacks empathy, the capacity to love or form meaningful relationship and most often times mimic emotions rather than feel them. Psychopath lack a moral compass completely and are mostly incapable of forming meaningful relationships
Sociopath is a person with ASPD who has a pattern of anti-social behaviour and attitudes such as manipulation, deceit, aggression and lack of empathy. Sociopaths have a moral compass but don't use it. They rationalise every wrong thing they do and don't accept blame. Sociopaths may actually have meaningful relationships in their lives.
There is a believe that Psychopaths are born while Sociopaths are made as a result of psychological trauma or abuse.
Not all sociopaths or psychopaths are killer or dangerous, nor are they inherently violent. Most often keep to themselves in a way. It can't however be denied that some of the most violent people in history were sociopaths or psychopaths.
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