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Shut up: You, Nymphomaniac Evil Sword 原創

Shut up: You, Nymphomaniac Evil Sword

War 248 章節 979.9K 流覽
作者: Half_Blind

4.7 (24 評分)

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摘要

A young philosopher ends up in a war-torn world, where he finds himself among the poor and needy rebels who fight against the humongous army of the corrupted and merciless Alliance government. The Mystery behind his appearance in this new world, slowly unravels as he travels the magical world and faces new challenges.

The story follows the philosopher's journey along with his companion, a Nymphomaniac Evil sword, through this modern and magical world, as he experiences different battles, adventures and his own personal dilemmas.

Please bear with my English and Thank you all for reading
Disclaimer :The cover picture doesn't belong to me, if the artist wants it to be removed it will be removed......

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    24評論

    4.7

    • 寫作品質
    • 更新的穩定性
    • 故事發展
    • 人物形象設計
    • 世界背景

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    寫檢討
    WWFire

    Writing style is a train wreck (especially the first 5 five chapters; barely readable): punctuation problems, capitalization problems, too much use of "...", confusing use of braces and brackets (why use this symbols for dialogue/thoughts at all?), lacking dialogue tags or action beats (author writes like a screenwriting). I have no complains for grammar though. Instead of using symbols with unclear meaning (i.e. braces or brackets), just use the standard apostrophe or quotes for thoughts and dialogues. It is your job as an author to make sure that the readers understand whether it is the character's thoughts, mind communications, or dialogues by using the standard format. Do yourself a favor by researching more on proper novel dialogue writing (punctuation too!). Here are other elements I feel that you are lacking: 1. The sense of the MC! That's right, a human has 5 sense, not just sight. How does it smells like when MC arrived in the world? When he drink the water, how does it taste like? Are there any sounds of cracking flames and wave of heat when he got near the burning mountain? If you want to create extraordinary immersion, you should improve this point. 2. What was his name again? Ah, Sam! I almost forgot his name without you mentioning it at all at chapter 10 and only once at chapter 9. 3. World building (visuals) is quite lacking in the first few chaps. You need to improve from this question: What is the MC's first impression on seeing the new world? Just "dumbfounded" or "awestruck" is not enough. If you think you can give more visualization more on the world , don't be afraid on making an extra chapter just for it. What I say is that, imagine yourself in that world, what do you see and feel in your surrounding?

    5yr
    查看1條回復
    Melan_Hijack

    This novel has many different elements such as philosophy , leadership , alchemy, artifacts, high tech etc The problem is Dear author : you don't have to make a single mc experience them all and give us a bit of everything You could very well create many main characters with different backgrounds walking towards the very same goal as the mc Hope you consider my suggestion and tell me your opinion

    3yr
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    Chris_LP

    Very good novel i like the many jokes and the swort of a pervert.😂😂😂🗡🚺

    4yr
    查看2條回復
    poodanation

    👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

    5yr
    查看2條回復
    kingmo

    Is a kind of weird story, I don't know. So far I will read it to see if I will love it later on. I love this kind of stuff but... I will follow up with the update.

    5yr
    查看0條回復
    Rukimedsu

    Muy bueno))((()((((()()(((()((((()(()()()()(()()()()())()())()(((((())(()())()())()()())))))))))(((((()(((((()()()()()()()))(())()))((())((()((((((()(()())()()(()()()()())()(()

    4yr
    查看0條回復
    Rukimedsu

    Muy bueno)))))((()()))((()))))))))())())())(())))((((()((())())((())))(())()))((()))))(())()()()()()()())))()()())()()())()()()())())()(()())(()())())(()())(()((())(())(())()()(

    4yr
    查看0條回復
    Jumpe
    LV 11 Badge

    xvbd,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    4yr
    查看1條回復
    Conna
    LV 15 Badge

    This is a great story. It starts out a little slow cause of all the technical stuff, but it’s really worth the read, and has really gotten really interesting. You can’t guess what’s gonna happen next and it new and refreshing. I hope the author keep this tale going cause I can’t wait to see what’s next.

    4yr
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    nomial
    LV 14 Badge

    A bit of a slow start it gets better then since twists and turns the concept is fairly interesting and the character has some room to grow.

    4yr
    查看1條回復
    dreamygurl7968

    It's a good book. The writing is also good . The story is a good one ,I found something like this after a long time , I hope the author update daily. Author , fighting!! . I loved your book . ♥️♥️♥️

    5yr
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    Author_Shizu

    2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

    5yr
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    Sani2341

    While the writing is superb, *especially* considering the average her eon Webnovel, the constant paragraph long inner monologues are quite jarring to read. FOr me they just ripped me to far out of the narrative (what little there was so far) to continue reading on.

    5yr
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    Half_Blind

    I know it might be a little shameless, but I have put in some effort, so I hope you people don't mind if I give myself a five star.....😊😊😊😊😊😊 And thank you all for reading... 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

    5yr
    查看1條回復
    Rukimedsu

    Muy bueno))))((()))))((()))(((()))((())()))()()()()()()()(()()()()))))()()(()))))()))()()()()))))(()()))))(()))())()()()()()()(()()()()()(()))))))))()()()()()()))))()()()()())()

    4yr
    查看0條回復
    Xiao_Zuojia

    Give it a try. Sounds nice. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

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    5yr
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    lilllksjspsjs

    Very good story line Good development But also still needs help Good follow up on the story line Impressive ideas And update is a bit slow The story is highly recommended It is 8.5 out of 10

    4yr
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    LiaFeil

    Stupid MC .................................. ......................................................................... ......................................................................... ......................................................................... ......................................................................... .......................................

    4yr
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    Mahdi_Mojtahedi_

    5 star Because it's the first novel that I found that isn't based on the mindset of "strength can solve anything " A negative point is that The novel in a whole is based on one planet currently And one more thing Why hasn't the alliance found and used those mountains yet Didn't you mention that this evil sword knows some mantras and techniques why hasn't learnt mc them yet

    3yr
    查看2條回復
    ringdomstoryken

    Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact kenreview@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.

    4yr
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    作者 Half_Blind