Shinobi system in elemental nation

Well I write as well as you do and I'm just going to advise you a little bit so that you could write your story better. I don't mean to offend you or anything like that all I want is for you to improve on it since we are writing the same genre fan-fiction. 1. it is true the time line is pretty bad since in the third ninja war the only present power house of hidden leaf was minato, and the other jonins of konoha like the head of family clans or jonins from their clans. orochimaru was defending against the village hidden in the mist later on was caught to be performing illegal experiments just right after the war. Jiraiya was training the orphan kids remember yahiko, nagato, and konan... the guy with the rinnegan those were jiraiya's disciple. tsunade was having a bad time since her little brother and lover died giving her phobia to blood so she was out I think this happened in the second shinobi war I'm not sure remember that the sannin when they first appeared in naruto time line was already in their fifties. Minato actually won the third war single handedly almost since he made everyone retreat because everywhere he went in that war means victory for hidden leaf his body flicker was so fast he could people in a matter of secs plus with the flying thunder god he was just the fast ninja ever even raikage can't catch him. So naruto can't be born in that era since minato wasn't hokage yet at that time minato was presumably in his teenage years as well base on the anime. you have to research brother since people who reads fanfic loves accuracy you'd have trouble with your readers I did as well. 2. I think you have consider the characters and their personality plus you'd have to think through how they are going to react since they are supposed to be people with emotion and reacting base on that or their personality for example like I said hiruzen is very calculative person since he is a hokage he has to consider every decision he makes for the good of the village if he encounters a young genius asking to go out of the village for adventure he probably wouldn't allow that person to go alone or worst not go at all since he has to develop first before letting him go or else all that talent would go to waste if he dies prematurely. 3. the system is really cool and all brother I get it but I think what you have to show are just the main stat of mc and his ninjutsu... the buying part you don't have to show the other stuff just gave us some vague idea like a few techniques or what not list everything you can and just show how much the mc spend on it. The idea is great brother but you have to work on a few things then everything would be ok. I hope I helped you in anyway and good luck I'll work on mine as well :)

To be completely honest, this book needs a lot of work!! The characters are super hollow and lack any personality at all, there are spelling mistakes in almost every chapter. It’s like the author did not proof read or get someone else to check over it before being posted! Timeline is also twisted. This book could be good if further refined. Things to improve; 1. Proof read!!!! Get a friend to read it!! Run it through a spelling check program if you have too! It’s painful seeing so many errors! 2. Make the characters more realistic! No person is just going to trust the MC’s words out of the blue!! Especially ninja! The fact that all these characters just go along with the MC is disturbing! Where is their free will, or common sense in general? 3. Give the characters a soul, the characters all feel like they are from a cookie cutter. Every character sounds the same and reacts the same, I feel like I am reading about 1 person pretending to be every single other character! 4. Less time skips, we know nothing about the MC! He just gets stronger suddenly after a few months! If this was a cultivation novel you could pull it off, but not with naruto. We need time to learn about the MC’s personality and see character development. 5. Plan! At this rate the MC will be the strongest ninja ever in 20-30 chapters!! What will happen after that? A book needs conflict and cliffhangers, but when the MC is op what will he need to bother with? He is already stronger that most S rank ninja! 6. The MC is a soulless robot, the only emotion we have seen is his desire for revenge!! Other than that the MC shows nothing! Even his affection to naruto is cold and empty! These are the big things that need to be improved! Remember apart from the MC, the characters all have a personality from the Naruto universe, you just need to copy those really!

This really deserves 1-star I mean the author is now just jumping around anime world's now that he grew tired of the Naruto World. I continued reading hoping to see improvements only to be disappointed. There is no true conflict beyond mc easily resolved vengeance. MC show growth that's too fast and no enemy capable of doing beating him. The story has no descriptions, characters are bland, world building beyond original author is zilch, even the dialogues are bland and lifeless. It's like the author can't stay focus on his story considering the now world traveling. As he been to Fairy tale and One piece world. I'm pretty sure before long he'll be in Gundam all how many incarnations and travel to become Pretty Manly Soldier Sailor Ninja, as a Sailor Scout. I would also like to point out MC was supposedly 1 year old during 3rd shinpb war so MC should be at least 4-5 years younger than Kakashi so how is he friends with Naruto and grew up in same orphanage!? All in all the author doesn't even take his writing seriously so neither would I or should any serious reader for that matter which questions how it got so high in the rankings.