/ Others / RWBY: Oscar the gamer
摘要
Oscar pine was chosen for manything, the last thing he expected was to have what is it called oh or right, a system yeah he didn't expect that he just hopes this is the craziest thing to happen to him
MC: Oscar
ship: Oscar x Harem
so yeah this will my own type of system with it's one rules and everything, also yeah hope people like this
General Audiences
標籤
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
Hello, I read the story and I must say it's good, but there are some things I don't like.An example would be writing,Sometimes it is difficult to read, for example, the third person, sometimes during the narration Oscar suddenly says something in the middle of the narration, and that is a bit confusing,What I want to suggest is at least if you want the character to speak with his name and then a colon so as not to confuse , example: Oscar: oh no, Beacon is going to fall, I have to avoid it. It is also better that you end the narration so that the character can speak, not that in the middle of the narration the character says something and continues the narration as if no one had spoken. Well, this is all the problem I had. Thank you for reading. I'm sorry if my English is bad.