章節 8: Chapter 8:- Insecurities

Not long after, the doctors came in to check on me. They ran through the usual questions, asking how I was feeling, checking my vitals. One of the doctors, a tall man with a kind smile, glanced at my charts.

"Well, everything looks good. You're healing well, but I want to stress that you need to take it easy for a while. No dungeons, no physical strain for at least a few weeks," he said, looking at me seriously.

I raised an eyebrow. "No dungeons?"

"That's right. Your body's been through a lot. You need to recover fully before you even think about going back out there," the doctor insisted. "If you push yourself too soon, you could end up worse off than before.

Take as much rest as you can, and do some physical activities like walking and running, but try not to put too much pressure on your body."

I sighed, leaning back into the pillows. "Alright, fine. No dungeons."

The doctor smiled slightly. "Good. We'll go ahead and discharge you now, but I want you to rest and do a routine check up in a few days."

A few hours later, the discharge papers were signed, and I was finally allowed to leave the hospital. As I walked out of my room, my mom was by my side, carrying my things. We didn't talk much, but there was a quiet understanding between us. We were both thinking about the same thing: Jin Woo.

Once we reached the exit, I took a deep breath, feeling the cool air outside. "I'm going to check on Jin-Ah and Jin Woo before I go home," I said.

Mom nodded. "I'll wait for you outside."

I headed back to Jin Woo's room, where Jin-Ah was sitting beside her brother, holding his hand. She looked up when I entered, giving me a tired but grateful smile.

"How are you holding up?" I asked, leaning against the wall.

Jin-Ah shrugged. "As well as I can, I guess."

I nodded, watching Jin Woo for a moment. His steady breathing was the only sign that he was still hanging on. "I'm getting discharged," I said. "But I'll be around if you need anything. If there's any issues call me anytime, and if the ward boys here try acting cocky or try hitting on you, let me know, I'll get rid of them."

"Thanks," Jin-Ah replied softly. "I appreciate it Oppa."

I glanced at Jin Woo one last time before turning to leave. "He'll wake up, Jin-Ah. I'm sure of it."

As I walked out of the room, I couldn't shake the feeling that things were going to get a lot more complicated from here. But for now, all I could do was wait.

After leaving the hospital, my mom and I headed to a small restaurant nearby. It was late, and we hadn't eaten properly all day. The place was quiet, with only a few people inside. We found a table in the corner, and I ordered some food and drinks.

Mom glanced at me as she poured herself a glass of soju. "I'm so glad you're finally out of that hospital, honey. It felt like forever," she said, her voice full of relief.

I nodded, taking a sip of my water. "Yeah, me too. But it's over now, so let's just enjoy the moment."

We talked a little, mostly about normal things, avoiding the topic of Jin Woo for now. She looked tired, but there was a small smile on her face as we ate. I could tell she was trying to enjoy the evening, but the stress of everything was still weighing on her.

After a few drinks, though, my mom started to loosen up. She poured herself another glass of soju, and I watched as her cheeks grew redder with each sip.

"Ahh, this is good stuff!" she exclaimed, laughing a little too loudly. "You know, we don't do this enough. Just you and me, hanging out, eating, drinking… It's nice!"

I smiled. "Yeah, it is."

She looked at me, her eyes slightly unfocused. "You've grown up so much, you know that? My little boy… now so strong and independent. Sometimes I forget you're not a kid anymore."

I chuckled. "Well, I'm not exactly little anymore, Mom."

"No, no, you're not," she mumbled, pouring herself yet another glass. "You're all grown up… but you still take care of me. I should be the one taking care of you, but look at me, getting all emotional and… and drunk…"

She giggled, then suddenly got serious. "But I've been so worried… worried about you, about Jin-Ah, Jin Woo… Everything's been so hard lately, hasn't it?"

I nodded, trying to keep my voice calm. "Yeah, but we'll get through it, Mom. We always do."

She leaned forward, her face inches from mine, her breath smelling like soju. "You're such a good boy, you know that? You always know what to say. Always know how to make things better…"

I smiled softly. "Come on, Mom, you've had enough."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Nonsense! I'm fine. I just want to enjoy this moment with my amazing son."

But as the night went on, her words became more slurred, and she started rambling about everything and nothing at the same time.

"I remember… when you were just a baby… you used to cry so much at night, but then you'd smile in the morning like nothing happened… You were always such a happy baby… and now look at you, all grown up and serious," she said, her words stumbling over each other.

I sighed, watching as she finished the last of her drink. "Alright, that's enough for tonight, Mom. Let's get you home."

She looked at me with a pout. "But I'm not done yet!"

"Yes, you are," I replied firmly, standing up and helping her out of her seat. "Come on, let's get you home before you pass out."

She groaned but let me lead her out of the restaurant. As we walked, she leaned heavily on me, her steps unsteady.

"You know… you're such a good son," she mumbled again, her head resting on my shoulder. "I'm so proud of you, honey. You take care of everyone, but don't forget… you need to take care of yourself too…"

"I will, Mom," I said softly, guiding her down the street.

By the time we reached home, she was barely able to walk. I practically had to carry her up in princess carry from the stairs to her room. She flopped onto her bed, her face buried in the pillows, mumbling something incoherent.

"Alright, Mom. Sleep it off," I said, pulling the blanket over her.

She turned her head slightly, her eyes half-closed. "I love you, honey… so much…"

"I love you too, Mom," I whispered, brushing her hair away from her face, as she held my hand and pulled me on the bed with her.

As I tried to pull away, Mom's grip on my hand tightened. I froze, feeling her hold me close. She looked up at me, her eyes half-lidded and teary, her voice barely a whisper as she spoke.

"Please… don't go," she mumbled. "I don't want to be alone."

I sighed softly, sitting back on the edge of her bed. "Mom, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just making sure you're comfortable."

But she didn't let go. Instead, her grip tightened even more, and her words started to spill out, raw and unfiltered.

"I'm so tired… so tired of everything…" Her voice cracked, and I could hear the pain beneath it. "Ever since your father died… I've been trying so hard, trying to keep it all together. But it's been so hard, honey… so hard."

I felt a lump form in my throat as I listened to her. This wasn't the usual Mom I knew. This was her breaking, letting all the weight she had carried for years come crashing down.

"I've been so lonely," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I don't have anyone. You're all I have left, and when I saw you in that hospital… I thought… I thought I was going to lose you too."

She turned her face into the pillow, her voice muffled but still audible. "I can't lose you, honey. If I did… I wouldn't have a reason to go on. I don't think I could… I'd probably… end it all."

My heart clenched. "Mom, don't say that."

"It's true!" she insisted, her voice rising slightly. "You're the only thing keeping me here. If you left me, I'd have nothing. I'd be all alone."

She finally let go of my hand, but instead, she wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me down to lay next to her. Her head rested against my chest, and I could feel her shaking.

"I feel like such a burden… I'm your mother, I'm supposed to protect you, not the other way around," she muttered, her words slurred from the alcohol but the emotions behind them were real. "But you always have to take care of me… and I hate it. I hate feeling like this."

"You're not a burden," I said softly, trying to reassure her. "I don't mind taking care of you."

"But you should be living your life! Not worrying about me," she said, her voice growing desperate. "I see the way people look at me, like I'm some horny single woman who is looking for a dick and can't even take care of her own son…

I feel so dirty sometimes… like when people stare at me, I can feel their eyes… like they're judging me, my character, looking at me and my body with lust filled eyes just wanting to have a piece of my body, wanting something from me."

She shivered, her grip tightening again as she spoke. "And I just… I just want to feel normal. I want to feel safe, but everywhere I go, it's like there's something… something watching, waiting for me to fail."

I didn't know what to say. Hearing all of this from her, hearing the fear and pain she had been carrying all this time, it was overwhelming. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her as she clung to me.

"You don't have to feel like that, Mom," I whispered. "You're not alone. I'm here."

"But for how long?" she asked, her voice barely audible now. "You'll leave me too, won't you? Just like your father… everyone leaves eventually."

"I'm not going anywhere," I said firmly. "I'm here, and I'm not leaving you."

She didn't respond for a long moment, just held onto me, her breathing shaky as she tried to calm down. I could feel the weight of everything she'd been carrying, and it hit me how much she had been suffering in silence all this time.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered, her voice breaking again. "I'm so sorry, honey. I didn't mean to put all of this on you. I just… I needed to say it. I needed you to know how scared I've been."

"It's okay, Mom," I said softly, running a hand through her hair. "You don't have to apologize. I'm glad you told me."

She sniffled, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her shirt. "I just love you so much… and I don't want to lose you."

"You won't," I whispered. "I promise."

[Author's Note:

Hey everyone! Just a quick update: my main focus is currently my MHA fic, so this new story will have slower updates. But if you're want to read ahead, I've got some special options for you on Patreon!

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