I saw him.
It was him Rudeus.
He walked into my life like a god, untouched by the rain that poured relentlessly around him. It was as if the world itself bent to his will, refusing to stain him with its dreariness. I had watched him before, from the shadows, spying on him for days. His magic it was like stepping into another realm, one I wasn't meant to see, let alone belong to.
But then, seeing him up close, I couldn't help but feel like I was standing before the Prince Charming I had always dreamed of.
He spoke to me not at me, not like I was some pitiful creature, but like I was a person. For the first time in my life, someone acknowledged me. He touched me, not with cruelty, but with kindness. He didn't flinch or look at me with disdain. His hands only sought to help, his actions free of malice or expectation.
For so long, I had felt invisible, like I didn't exist in this world. But in that one moment, under the unyielding rain, he made me feel human again.
It was the first time I had felt… anything. Belonging, hope, joy they were foreign emotions to me. But he ignited them all with nothing more than a look, a word, a gesture. And when he lifted me onto his shoulders, it felt like he was carrying me out of my past, out of my pain. Not a single drop of rain touched me while I was with him. It was as though he absorbed all the darkness around us, reflecting it back into the void, leaving only his warmth to guide me forward.
He took me to his home. He gave me food, bathed me, and somehow convinced his teacher to take me as a student, without asking for anything in return. I still don't understand why he treated me like he'd known me forever. But from that day on, I loved him with all my heart.
For over a year, I studied magic under Roxy. She was patient and kind, opening up a world I never dreamed I'd be part of. Rudeus played with me, laughed with me, even stood up for me against the bullies who tormented me. He made me feel safe, like nothing in this world could ever hurt me again. His family… they treated me like one of their own. I had another place to call home.
I can still remember Paul and Zenith's argument when Lilia got pregnant. It didn't make sense to me why they were so upset. What was wrong with Paul having two wives if they both loved him? I didn't care I was just excited at the thought of having two little sisters.
But Roxy… she left.
I cried so hard that day. I can still feel the way she hugged me, her tears soaking into my back as she whispered that she'd always remember me. It felt like losing a piece of myself. But Rudeus stayed by my side, always there to hold me up when I was breaking. Even when his father tried to separate us, Rudeus never wavered.
He's the strongest person I've ever known.
Even when Paul beat him in that sparring match, I knew it was part of his plan. If Rudeus wanted to win, he would have. I've never doubted his strength, not for a second. That's what I love about him his wits, determination, his ability to carve his own path no matter what stands in his way.
I've always admired him. Always wanted to be like him. Always wanted to be with him.
Sometimes no all the time, I dream about a life together. A life where we go to university, study magic side by side, and maybe even bring Roxy back into our lives. I imagine us all living together, happy, like a family. Maybe it's foolish to dream like that, but I can't help it.
My time is running out. I can feel it. And I'm not sad because I'll never marry him or live that fantasy life. That would be selfish of me. No, I'm sad because I know Rudeus. I know how deeply he feels. He's going to cry for me. He's going to blame himself.
I don't want that.
I don't want him to grieve or shut himself away. I don't want him to carry the weight of my loss like some burden he failed to stop. All I want is for him to keep going, to keep smiling, to keep paving his own path, just like he always has.
If I could, I'd tell him how much he's given me. That the joy he brought me in such a short time is more than enough to last me through countless lifetimes.
Why can't he be happy.
I Just want
Him to be
Happy
A/N: get me to 30 power stones I'll release 3 chapters.
Also my goal is to be the biggest Mushoku Tensei fanfiction on this app rn.
Also how yall feel about this chapter.