章節 28: Plot
The story of my adventures resonated with the only female listener. I reached the point where the grips extended from the chair, restraining me, and a flame of rage flared in the eyes of a charming blonde.
"Mr. J. Stay here, I'll run out and do something real quick.
The girl was clearly going back to break the "kind" doctor's legs and, quite possibly, arms. Her reaction was expected, so I easily managed to intercept Harley.
"Honey, don't be such a baby. I didn't tell you everything. As you can see, I'm safe and sound, and I got a nice bonus. - My gaze slid to the briefcase.
"What is it about him that you're willing to forgive the bastard? You haven't even beaten him up if we're still not being chased. - She clearly didn't like the fact that her lover had almost been made a guinea pig.
"Ha ha ha!" I pecked the girl on the cheek, she's so sweetly worried about me. - Don't think I've turned into a saint. Even if I couldn't get revenge right away, it can be done later anyway so I don't have to set myself up.
Harley melted, but then pulled herself together and looked at me seriously.
"Mr. J., most psychos are like cats, if you don't punish them right away, they won't understand the cause and effect relationship and will continue to shit in their slippers. And to get the point across, you have to beat them half to death!" She reached into her bag where her weapon was.
Hmmm...I hadn't looked at the situation that way. It's a great analogy, except it doesn't work. The Dark Knight quite often does exactly that, beating up supervillains and common thugs right at the scene of the crime. But the Joker, judging by the comics, was only amused by the hero's efforts, and the others were forced to become more dodgy. Okay, let's go calm my love down.
"There's liquid hypnosis and amnesiac in the case. - A big smile spread across my face. - Hugo would soon be paying a huge settlement to the people who'd been victimized by crazy doctors with maniacal tendencies. That is, of course, if the hypnosis works properly.
After I explained what kind of drugs I had gotten, Harley got really excited and was eager to investigate both substances. She was even ready to give up our date, but it was necessary, and the sooner the better.
When a person suddenly has supernatural powers - it rarely leads to good consequences, and more often that person has to pay for the acquired power by trashing other people's joints (Green Lantern's ring, the magic of the Olympian gods at Shazam's), and given that this is a comic book world...
And my assistant won't be able to quickly check Strange's drugs: we don't have a secret hideout with a laboratory, to go to Bats - to lose these interesting substances, besides the moral code of a superhero will definitely order to return the memory to the mad doctor. Hmm, we need to set up a secret base of operations for all sorts of dubious endeavors. I'm two hundred percent sure our apartment is bugged, so I can't set up a lab there, unless I want to share the results with Mouse.
I was distracted from my musings by a cab pulling up.
"Did you order a cab?" The man asked in a little broken English. The driver didn't seem at all embarrassed that he was giving rides to ex-criminals who had just left the asylum. This time we were practically unmasked, so the protection from a quick glance was only nominal.
At the wheel sat an ordinary man of Indian appearance with swarthy skin tone and black short hair.
"You're the guy who gave me and my friends a ride to Old Gotham.
The Hindu squinted his eyes, scrutinizing my assistant.
"...
"You really don't remember?!" Harley was outraged. - There were two redheads with me, one in a leaf bathing suit and the other cosplaying Batman!
"I'm sorry, miss. I don't know the language very well. Are you coming?
"Ah, shit, let's go. - Muttering, the blonde climbed into the back seat of the car, clearly hurt that she hadn't been recognized. I sat down next to her, putting my arm around the girl. I didn't think there was a person who could not recognize our couple, or recognize them but not react in any way. Interesting character. Maybe he's some kind of minor hero or villain himself?
"Buddy, what's your name?
"*Unintelligible noises*.
"Uh... How?
The driver took a business card from the dashboard and handed it to me.
"Koyaanfskwatsiuchi*. - I struggled to pronounce it, a set of letters. Had he typed them by hitting his forehead on the keyboard? Or were his parents speech therapists?
"Yes, Koyaanfskwatsiuchi. - The Hindu replied in a single word as he turned onto the bridge. The navigator showed the end point at the police station, so he didn't need to check the route with annoying passengers. He was paid, he drove; entertainment was not part of his duties.
Realizing that the cab driver was not really in the mood for a dialog, concentrating on driving, I put my business card in my pocket (in case I needed a driver who wasn't chatty) and looked at the blond cutie sitting next to me, who resembled a shrivelled sparrow.
"Harley, why are you sulking? Do you think it would have been better if he'd gotten scared and left as soon as he saw us?
"Hmpf, not better, but it's a shame. - The blond girl pressed herself against me feebly, still not used to the fact that it no longer made me uncomfortable.
I put my arm around the girl and leaned back in the seat. It was time for the system.
Status.
[The first beginning (the body): 78
The second beginning (prana): 15
The third beginning (astral): 8
The fourth beginning (core): 12
The fifth beginning (spirit): 22
The sixth beginning (reason): 44
Seventh Beginning (magic): 6
Eighth beginning (immortality): blocked
The ninth beginning (divine): blocked.
Free points: 21]
For once, the math is right. That's what I thought until I noticed the magic line.
Six points?! From where!!! The logs again failed to shed any light on this situation, so I activated the point notifications in hopes of catching the moment.
Looking at the line with the seventh beginning, my hand was tempted to add a dozen free points to this parameter, but I had my doubts. For some reason, the magic was already growing, and if I increased it, the progress should slow down, just as it had with the first beginning.
Harry Potter came to mind. If I wasn't confused, the little wizard's reserve was supposed to grow on its own, causing spontaneous emissions. My gaze shifted to the loyal assistant pressed against me. Maybe she had exactly that when she started releasing sparks? The only question that remained was: what the hell! Even if she had a source initiation, Harley's magic reserve is greater than mine, since it was a relatively strong manifestation. And we're not children... Although my companion likes to fool around sometimes.
Still, I need to consult a specialist, besides the reserve does not pull the pocket, and in my case, this saying is literal.
***
The cab pulled up outside the police station. I paid the driver with a twenty percent tip and helped my faithful assistant out of the car. A bored-looking policeman stood at the door of the department, staring lazily at passersby. As we approached, his eyes grew rounder and rounder, and he even started to reach for his service weapon, but when he encountered my ironic glance, he jerked his hand away.
"Good afternoon, Officer Attwood. - I said a polite hello, reading the nametag on my uniform.
"He was kind.
Oh, other people's anger is invigorating. Still, he's no ordinary civilian and definitely knows about the Joker's misdeeds.
"Can you tell me if Commissioner Gordon is in?" My ostensible politeness made him grit his teeth. But what could he do? We're standing outside the station, right under the cameras, a crowd of passersby cruising by, and the man can't even swear at me.
"Hn, yeah.
"Ha ha ha, thank you.
Taking Harley under my arm, I stepped inside the building. My assistant was clearly enjoying someone else's impotent anger, snuggling contentedly against my left side.
I knew where Gordon's office was, so I calmly headed in the right direction. It was amusing to note the hushed conversations when people around us noticed our couple. I wondered how long this would last.
"I bet you a kiss that we make it to the office door. - I whispered in the cute blonde's ear.
"I bet you a kiss that they'll wake up first. - My bet was accepted.
"Stop! No civilians allowed in here!
"Tz. - I had to pull over.
We were almost there, only four meters short of the necessary office, separated from the main room by several solid partitions, and behind us was a not insignificant open office where the detainees were being processed.
"Mr. - We were approached by a department employee who had the balls to stop our couple. Ironic. - You can't be in here.
"Hello, I have an important matter for Commissioner Gordon. - Adding my cutest smile, setting my gym bag on the floor so I definitely won't be able to be escorted out right away. - I can go see him, can't I?
"Not allowed. You must sign in at the front desk to visit the commissioner, come on, I'll walk you out.
~Bah~
While everyone was distracted by our conversation, one of the detainees did not become dumb and managed not only to unnoticeably remove his handcuffs, but also to take possession of his service weapon, immediately firing a shot into the ceiling, attracting attention.
"Everybody freeze or I'll blow that bitch's brains out!" The armed man shouted, pointing his gun at the head of one of the police officers.
Great, now he's got a hostage. He'd done everything right, though: he couldn't get away quietly, and now he had a small chance. Of course, if he managed to leave the building, get the vehicle, and then get away from the chase.
"What the hell is going on here?!" The commissioner himself appeared, attracted by the gunshot, and froze, watching the action unfold.
Need a hand or something?
[Rescue quest generated: rescue the victim. Reward 2 free points]
Means to help, though I'd do it anyway, wanting to test my strength.
I slowly picked up an apple from a nearby table, feeling a stirring, Harley loosened her grip on my hand, giving me room to maneuver.
"Don't move!" The barrel of a dancing gun was immediately pointed in my direction. The danger tickled my nerves pleasantly, and my easy smile began to turn into a grin.
"Ah ha ha ha," I laughed the creepiest laugh, making the people around me wince, "it's just an apple. - I tossed the ripe fruit a few times.
"J-joker...
"Ew, that's rude. I'm now officially J. Arkham... I see you're not very smart to operate in the heart of a police station, are you?
"When else?! The bastards kept an eye on me!
"Hmm, I understand, but as soon as you're distracted, you're instantly shot with lead, turning you into a sieve. Better give up.
"Easy for you to say. - The thug's voice is a cock. - I got away with all the charges, and I'm looking at fifteen years!
"And you just got your sentence increased by another dozen years for assaulting a police officer, but if you turn yourself in, the court may be more lenient.
I was stalling for time, well, there can't be a no-shooting policy for the police department. So we'd just have to wait for the armed man to get distracted, or talk him down, although there wasn't much hope of that.
There was a look of doubt in the bandit's eyes, and the barrel began to lower slowly. Suddenly the door swung open, and two policemen with pistols appeared in the passage. The criminal immediately tried to turn toward the new threat, but his movement was interrupted by an apple to the head.
~Bam~
The fruit shattered into many pieces, but it did its job, stunning the target. The disoriented man was instantly twisted by several responding officers.
[Quest "Rescue" completed. Reward 2 free points]
Freebies.
"That was awesome, Mr. J!" The girl pressed herself against me, rubbing her bust. - But you lost, and now I want my prize.
"Huh, I didn't doubt it. - Adrenaline was bubbling in my blood, demanding a release, so I didn't mind pleasing my lovely assistant.
Gordon swore foully, ordering the detainee to be taken away and the others to get back to work, and he didn't forget about the woman who had done wrong, making her write an explanatory note.
"Finish up and get back to my office. Arkham, Quinzel!
Ahhh, so he's the one for us... I struggled to pull away from the girl's sweet and delicious lips, turning to the red-haired man.
"James, it's just Jay to you.
"Ugh, follow me. - Gordon turned around, walking briskly toward his workstation.
"Mr. J., what's wrong with him? You saved his employee. - Harley looked at the Commissioner's retreating back in bewilderment.
"Old honors... I also hinted twice that I could be his son-in-law.
"Hee-hee-hee-hee, how could he not have a heart attack?" The girl gently grabbed the collar of my jacket and pulled me to her, whispering hotly. - She's cute, so I don't mind, but I'll go first.
"Sure, Sunshine.
I decided not to keep the chief of the police department waiting any longer, so I picked up my bag and walked into the right office with my companion.
What can I say? This is exactly how I imagined the workplace of Gotham's crime lord: a large desk with a computer, a comfortable chair, two flimsy three-legged chairs for visitors, two filing cabinets, a clothes rack, all the walls were hung with newspaper clippings of the Bat, and on the desk was a chibiki sharpener depicting Bats, and don't even ask me where it had a hole for pencils...
"What are you doing here?" The commissioner greeted me from the doorway.
"You could have been nicer. I did fix your coworker's mistake. - I calmly go inside and sit down in one of the chairs while Harley occupies the other.
"Yeah, how in the world did she miss a criminal? Wasn't she distracted by some unusual event?" James Gordon said sarcastically, leaning back in his chair. - Besides, you should be the one thanking me for not arresting your girlfriend. - The man opposite clearly felt like the master of the situation. - She's still a patient in a clinic for the criminally insane.
And I turned out to be in time to visit Dr. Arkham, or else, just in case, would have come to us a few brave special forces to capture a "dangerous psychopath".
"Your information is out of date. Harleen Quinzel was officially declared sane today. Honey, let me see the certificate.
James studied the document incredulously, looking at the smiling girl, whose eyes were filled with madness, although it was unlikely, I think it was the cockroaches who had decided to set off fireworks. The owner of the office was not even lazy to check the information through the database, but the reality was disappointing. He wiggled his red mustache in frustration, looking at me carefully.
"So, why are you here?
"Talk about a fundraiser, of course.
But I couldn't have a normal conversation right away, and it took me about five minutes to prove to this stubborn sheep in human form that I was really going to organize this event. I still didn't fully believe him, but I got things moving. With the commissioner we managed to discuss a plan for the future event, which we would once again coordinate with Alfred, and a tentative date. In fact, Gordon's task was limited to providing the people who needed help and the police officers who would get the new weapons.
To be honest, I wanted to give up and just leave, but I decided to finish what I'd started so I wouldn't have to talk to James again. Pissing him off was fun, but having a normal conversation was boring and tedious. It was a nightmare. Thankfully, after twenty minutes, my torture was over, and we were able to leave the police station for some fresh air. Now our way lay toward the train station.
*♪ That's a real name Ooh ♪
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