/ Anime & Comics / Psionic (Marvel)
摘要
If you want to support the novel and read ahead then go check out my Patreon: www.patreon.com/Moziel
=====
«Synopsis»
In a world teeming with Superheroes, Gods, Demons and Cosmic Entities. An average guy reincarnates as Andrew Detmer with one of the most misunderstood and underrated ability in all of fiction.
=====
#WARNING
This is my very first fanfic and English is also not my first language.
The idea of this fic just came in me so don't expect some mind blowing and amazing plot. But I'll try to improve along the way.
=====
Cover not mine
I don't own Marvel and Chronicle.
=====
3 to 4 chapters a week
=====
Lastly.. Be sure to enjoy!
標籤
你也許也喜歡
4.09
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討Riiight...So your story went from someone who was an average everyday person, with more memories and life experiences, being transmigrating in Andrew Detmer's DEAD body, to thinking he is Andrew himself, so you can justify "falling down the slippery slope" of what, Madness? So disappointing. According to your own story, he received Andrew's memories not blend with an alive person. Before Andrew's psychotic break because of pain, loss of his mother, and the state of his life, he was an abused, but was still feeling, awkward, intelligent person. So for your character to go from a regular guy, to someone who "lost most of his morals" is a convenient plot device because right now it's pretty much a psychotic version of what Andrew could have become with that version of Andrew's thoughts. The transmigrated person is gone, and pretty much didn't last two chapters. The fact that you follow Fanon X-Men characterizations just makes this even worse. This story had so much potential. Now, it's a sewer sludge mix of edge lording, narcissistic personality disorder, web novel style "evil mc" syndrome.
The concept of the story is great as it combines different stories into a bigger world, but unfortunately, this is the only good quality of the story. Grammatically speaking, the story is horrific and barely understandable. Past, present, and future tenses are non-existent, and the author has no excuse for this type of writing quality, especially with free apps such as Chat GPT and Grammarly available to assist with editing and proofreading. Regarding the plot, the story makes no sense. The author skips introductions, transitions, and interactions just to arrive at what they consider the 'good part.' If you haven't already seen all the TV shows or movies referenced in the story, then the author won't explain a thing. Relationships are non-existent. The MC barely speaks with anyone, and for plot convenience, the next chapter, he's suddenly friends with everyone out of the blue. The interactions between characters are poorly written, feeling forced and rushed, with everyone in the same scene reacting the same. They don't feel like individuals; instead, they are more like NPCs. The powers are unrealistic, with the MC discovering seven new powers each chapter for plot convenience. There is absolutely no reason to justify his god-level intellectual ability to discover and create new powers. He thinks about them for one or two sentences, and then they pop into existence. The pacing is the worst aspect of the story. Half the story feels like an outline with bullet points that the author is trying to cross off. Overall, the story needs significant improvement in grammar, plot, character development, and pacing.
The MC is very unlikable. Hypocritical. his powers are very cliche but still could be entertaining if written right. The author and MC are hero haters. which would be fine if they at least hated the villians too but no this is one of those stories where you find zero logic. Can't tell if he's good or bad but if its cliche as I think he'll find himself in that morally neutral area that has become the go to of late. Story had potential at first but by chapter 15 ita run dry.
I like the idea, but the narration for me is a bit bad, I don't know the way in which what the characters do is expressed feels like robotics.
mc wastes the first 23 chapters doing irrelevant stuff and then starts acting like old Andew on steroids but I guess the author realized his mc OC was just a background dog going with the plot and no one cared anymore at that point, this story with Andrew Detmer in marvel has a lot of potential, but this author made a mess a big mess of it
This is an awesome concept and it was good for the first four chapters. But sadly, around halfway through the fifth chapter the grammar turns from readable to unreadable due to things like an improper use of pluralities. It disappoints me to see something with so much potential irreparably marred by horrid grammar. I cannot reccomend this, 3.8/10 but if author fixed his grammar it would be around a 7.7/10.
i drop this because it not my type of mc. an evil MC and i feel that he have no bottom line. in which remind me of the holocaust author... you know the dude who committing genocide... yah his mentality is similar, he will do everything to get what he want at any cost... so at the time when i drop it i feel that he would just murder any bystander, children, women, innocents and probably give you the same old excuse that all bad guy gave... a necessary sacrifice for the greater good... which is so that he can do whatever he want whatever that is. which show me that MC is a lost cause psychopath now if i keep reading this it might influent my thinking and i dont like to put myself in the mc, maybe i feel the author gone too far! maybe it become better in the future? but it would be hard to change the picture i have of him now once it already solidify that he is just another villain that i dislike.
Chaos+Neutral. Mc like this is what I'm looking for, full of creativity and imagination. Anyway, I suggest you guys to read it. It's rare to see good fic now and it would be great if it wasn't spoiled by romance/harem in the future.
The pacing seems a bit abrupt and conversations seem forced. But good concept. I will change my review after reading further chapters. Let's see what happens next.
It's a very nice series that I want to read. I hope you continue to write in this way. I think the biggest plus of the book is that it stays as a side character, especially without changing the future. because the marvel universe is a very large universe and is being written by hundreds of people at the same time. It is unlikely that a single author will handle this vast universe. also you can change the title of the book to something much nicer
This fanfic is very good with a new concept and i hipe the autor dont stop the fanfic Jdjfuifiudjxufruruurrufufufururruufuufdffjjjfjxjfjfjfjfjjfx
The story is pretty good overall, an origin that is unique while retaining a decent quality, unlike authors who rather write something different than write something with quality. Only real problem, only my opinion, is the whole "Evil Dumbledore" esche perspective you get from the author/MC. you know the mentality of focusing in on one bad thing about a supposed "good guy" and defining his whole life off that. Its a very WN Mob mentality thats riddled in this story and app, very cliche at this point. you can usually notice it when the MC comments negatively only towards those who are "good" like Dumbledore in HP or in this case professor X. really, its the x-men as whole. Even throwing shield and hydra in together like they are the same, even if they kinda are until they clean house. no hate on any other characters that actually deserve it. like mister sinister or magneto whove already been referenced. MC is going to play at fitting in too.... Everything is a plan for his eventual goal. Hopefully he changes while on this journey but MCs that don't, usually have short lived stories. Because if your whole life is "stay undercover until im strong enough" then your going to have a pretty boring and one dimensional life. he doesn't even try to be happy and enjoy life unless its part of his persona he needs to show, his words not mine. Hope im wrong since the story so far is good despite my comments. and if im wrong and I've judged too quickly then ill be the first to say it and revise this review for 5 stars. which I hope happens.
A below average fanfic that started out with huge potential. As the story progresses, you'll start questioning why the author even thought of making the Mc transmigrate when it wouldn't have made any difference if he wrote the story from real Andrew's pov. It's a waste of time if you wish to read a quality fanfic. I wouldn't be surprised if this turns into a harem novel soon with lots of tropes found in cringefest Chinese webnovels.
作者 Moziel
this is really good, love mc power which is soemwhat combination of Xavier's telepathy and Magneto's2.0 telekinesis.