章節 2: Smut Writer (1)
"Hmmm... Why am I in some Xianxia BS?" Yun scratched his head and wondered why he was in this particular place. He was really worried, drips of sweat came down from his forehead. Indeed very worried.
"Bye bye toilets paper... Bye my 20 terabytes of hen- I mean homework. Goodbye instant noodles with 50% less fat. Goodbye all of those random people that commented on my novel to read theirs instead. Goodbye air conditioning. Goodbye hand sanitizer. Goodbye..."
Yun knelt on the ground for a moment, visibly distraught. He did not want to be reincarnated into a Xianxia, he just wanted to eat cup noodles in his apartment. He was not mentally strong enough to do this.
"Junior brother Lin!" A handsome young man came up to Yun, with a plain expression on his face. On his robes laid a golden badge, clearly showing that he was important here.
'Well shit. This is the scene where the minor minor minor antagonist beats me up and I fight him, eventually defeating him. Next, his uncle shows up and beats the shit out of me. Maybe if I am lucky, some beautiful 'senior sister' with a tsundere personality will help me out and stop the guy. Nope, that won't happen. The uncle will probably be send assassins to kill me later. So most likely, the beautiful senior sister will walk away and see whether I have the strength to warrant her help..." Yun basically read out a plot from his memories. It was easy as breathing for him to find some cliche Xianxia plot that fit the description.
He'd be mincemeat before anyone comes over to help. Unless...
"Hello senior brother." Yun clasped his hands and bowed towards the handsome senior.
"I heard you beat my younger brother to impotence." The handsome senior said with a serious glare."
"Umm...ummm... He tried to rape me!"
"What?"
"Yes, he came up from behind and a felt a huge bulge as he pushed me to the ground in that spot just over there. You can ask anyone else! They will say the exact same thing, He tried to push me down in broad daylight!" Yun started lying his way to victory. This is the only thing he can do in the face of plot.
"So you made him sterile?" The handsome man stroked his chin with a contemplative expression.
"It's true! That guy pushed him down in the middle of the street! Young people are so daring these days!" An old man yelled from the other side.
"I see."
"This younger brother of mine is to shameful. I will kill him when I get home. This is the third time he has done this to another man. Thank you for telling me and thank you for spending this shame on my house." The handsome man left after clasping his hands, walking away with posture rarely seen in the modern world.
"..."
'How did that work?'
'Phew... when in doubt, claim yaoi. It forces male characters to feel uncomfortable and walk away. But I did not expect this. Welp, I am just lucky today.'
THUMP
"Hey, you dropped your Dao Book." Some random girl said as she handed Yun a book.
He turned around confused, looking at the book as if it was a mysterious artefact. "Do you know what this does?"
"Are you an idiot? Dao Books are the most important items that us cultivator can use! Open it up, and you can use it write on the Dao forum, respond to questions and even take tests! There's more, you can also add your fellow disciples as friends and write poetry for others to read! Techniques are also uploaded there for disciples that have earned the right to lean them." The girl explained.
"O cool, thanks. By the way, where do I live again?"
"How should I know?"
"Fine, thanks for the help." Yun walked off into the street and found a nice alleyway to sit at. Conveniently, there was a box waiting for him to sit on.
"Hehehehehe..."
"I am going to become the best writer in a Cultivation world! My smut will transcend the heavens and break through the moon!"
[Quest 1: drop a novel that has 1 read]
"Huh?"
A mysterious video game notification popped up in his head.
"A system?"
"Screw off, I have pride. A writer does not drop a novel, they finish it!"
[Reward: Qi Condensation 6th stage, Yin Kick Technique, 100NP]
"It will take more than that to bri- WHAT DID YOU JUST FOOKING SAY?!"
'If I do this mission, I can become strong! I won't get randomly run over by some stupid kid. I won't even have to cultivate! I can just write and drop novels to become immortal...'
'System thingy, show me my stats!'
[Host: Yun
Aliases: NULL
Cultivation: Body Tempering 3rd layer
Cultivation Technique: Ink Heart Technique
Arts: Fluid Ink Sword
Novel Points: 0
Unlocked Specialities: Comedy]
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