/ Anime & Comics / Naruto: New life
摘要
A new life, a new Naruto.
Follow my life as smarter, more cunning and more handsome Naruto.
See how i conquer the lands, villages and of course the beauties.
"In this life, my most important mission is making kurama a beautiful fox-oneesan"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
{Warning}
This my first time writing and English is not my first language.so please take it easy on me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
標籤
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
31評論
4.45
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
My dad is a Furry he made me wear a furry costume with cat ears and a tail connected to an **** bead and he would make me parade outside the house naked and afraid pls send help I am 3 years old and my mother is a furry too, my entire family are furries pls call 911 or I will do the cat.
I'll tell u what I didnt like.... -MC's personality....its bland and also forced as fk..this dude cares about someone just like that..the fk? why? He is in a new world, first priority should be himself not anyone else [and if u say that both the people have similar lives, that BS,,,MC a kid...far worse] And he just died and isekaied, why would care about someone else? -and the interactions..this made me dropped....C3...damn man, the OG kyuubi was willing to manipulate a kid to get his vengeance..he hates humanity..he only liked them towards the end of naruto and that was mainly cause it was because of naruto...here its 4 yrs it spend with naruto....my ass it'll accept a hug from naruto like that....u forced this interaction. -genderbend.....atleast change the name dont force **** man..thats all I can say
this novel has the right makings to be absolute trash. your writing leaves a lot to be desired. for food naruto can ask the hokage to go shopping with him once a week. the kurama brainwashing thing, well good luck in trying to "brainwash" a multiple thousand year old entity that happens to be a fox demon who are known to be cunning.just make kurama female from the get go and dont pull any crap out of your ass to succeed in brainwashing her. pay more attention to the small things. you say he does things but not how, you dont describe the scenes properly. you say he stole food bc they overcharged him but it reads like a diary entry. describe the scene how naruto walks into a store only to get kikcked out or overcharged, the mental monologue in which he decides if he gets kicked out and beaten anyway then he might as well steal his food, him getting chased through the streets while stuffing himself with the stolen food, getting cought and beaten ect. pay more attention to yout grammar, the typos. *grow**grow*? what is that? is he physically growing right now *growl**growl* ok he must be hungry. pay more attention to detail. naruto's personality is a mess. i have no grip in what personality he has. i think you are going for some kind of anti hero or something. you could have used the food situation to develop his character into a certain direction. he gets kicked out of every store, goes hungry for a couple days until he makes the decision to steal food and ensure his survival, this was a golden oppotunity to turn a normal person into someone that did what needed to be done to survive(stealing, robbing even murder when he is attacked by civillian can be explained when he lives by the "rules of the jungle" for a couple months) i'll stop here right now, trying not to rant. keep in mind this is only one chapter and its this bad already. don't believe in the 5 star comments they just want you to keep going to get to a smut scene. rating: 2.0 except for update stability which i dont know at 15 chapters everything else needs loads of work
It’s a really good fan-fic however needs more chapters As long as more chapters are posted then it could be possible a great fan-fic More chapters are required until then it’s a 75 out of the 100
Me and theboys Going yo read this fic...what are you waiting for?? Join us! Now to add to the word count: Bro Broh Brotender Boy Boi Boii Boeh
........., ...., '://:' :'/!! :/!)))) >))))))))))))) _=&=&=&) &)'? ') _=&=') Good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good Круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто круто
İs he stay in the village I really hate novel where people become naruto and start the love village it its novel like that don't waste my time here? I really hope he destroy village and spit on hokage
Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
This has a lot of trip ups in terms of grammar but I can overlook that because the story is awesome and totally hilarious. Plus the dojutsu isn’t op its just a mental attack protection skill with the observe skill from the gamer but not limited by levels or anything. I love yandere Hinata and thirsty Sakura too, keep up the good work!
There are too many things in this novel that bother or annoy me to type out, mainly because I'm so lazy.
I like your novel, it has loads of potential. hope you do well. dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x..x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x..x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.more.x.x.x.x.x.x.x..x.x.x.x.x.xmx.x.x.x..x..x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x..x.x.xx.x.x..x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.
The story is to forced and the mc is just accepts people like that i’m sorry but if someone burns me qith a fucking fireball I ain’t gonna date ‘em. What do you mean you saved my little brother i’m sorry but you’re littlte brother was beating a girls while she wasnt fighting back for no reason and the only thing you care about is he didnt get in trouble?
I hope you can continue the story, dear writer 👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏👍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Dear writer, I am waiting for the continuation of the story. 👍🙏🙏👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏👍🙏👍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Unbelievable, dear writer I wait for the continuation of the story. 👍👍🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍👍🙏👍👍👍👍🙏👍🙏🙏🙏👍👍🙏👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🙏
Writing Quality 4 star Stability of Updates 1 star (one update for week) Story Development: 3 star Character Design: 3 star World Background 4 star (naturo)
5 stars for ku-oneesan