摘要
I'm French, and I use Google Translate, so tell me if you see a bad mistake. Don't beat me in the comment, please.
Our protagonist is an IT Developer, One day he goes to the supermarket to get some pasta because his food pantry is empty. When he came back, he makes his curry pasta. He is going to eat them on the rooftop. But then a mysterious, strong wind pushes him from the building into the void. When he was going to hit the ground, he saw the 'God' and his life goes wrong from there…
標籤
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
3評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
The writing quality is very bad honestly. It is very difficult to understand what you mean and getting into the story is difficult. I am also a francophone but google translate is definitely not the way to go. Some idiom are weird. Like there is no "tutoiement" in English, you shouldn't try to transpose French things to English. Honestly some people here write in pinoy (Philippines language), even Indonesian. You should probably write in French. Also the world background isn't very logical, even more the idea of arranged marriage like in our world. Where are you seeing arranged marriages nowadays in the west? even reach people don't do it. Though they end up marrying each other because they hang out in the same social circle. For instance Prince William and Kate Middleton met in college, prince harry and Meghan marckle at a charity function, etc. Even more because there is power and magic, influence such as family and arrange marriage have less hold. As the individual hold more power, society holds less power on them. Nice attempt but it is giving me headaches reading through the translation so I will not be continuing.
The plot develops well throughout the chapter and the picture created is admirable with an enjoyable storyline. As a reader i got sinked in this world the Author had created. A fascinating escape from reality into another world. A great read
My shameless review. I use Google Translate (French to English), grammar is bad. Shakespeare don't make the English language more usable when he takes the French and German language to create English. I try to have 3 Chapters per week. Story development is what I want to read. Character design, I write all on paper to have a good one. World background is very vast, I try to write it through the chapter, but it's long sorry for that.