章節 400: Omake (400 chapter special)
Leo: Hello, everyone! It’s your favorite fictional character back at it again with another omake! Yayyy! Everyone please give me a round of applause for just how amazing I am!
Hunter: Maybe if you stop being so shameless and actually get good grades in your exam, our readers might actually like you.
Leo: [Fake cries] How cruel, my dear hubby! Why would I ever be able to get good grades when my heart is filled with thoughts for you instead!
Hunter: More like thinking of the ways of lewding me for our next ‘encounter’! Instead of thinking about having smex all the time, why don’t you focus on more pressing issues, like how are you going to get Kane out of the picture before this arc ends?
Leo: I thought you were the one taking care of that? Aren’t you always doing this and that behind my back? I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve already given a bounty to hunt down our poor old Kane here.
Hunter: … Is that how you think of me, Leo? [Remaining emotionless on the outside while secretly sulking on the inside]
Leo: Awww… are you feeling sad, Hunter? Come here! I was joking with you just now. [Reaches over towards Hunter’s side for a hug]
Hunter: [Escape from Leo’s grasp] If you think I’m that dangerous, you should stay away from me from now on. Hmph!
Leo: Hey! When did you change your character settings? I am supposed to be the one that act sulky and childish all the time! Don’t steal my gimmick away from me! How are you going to explain yourself to our audience?
Hunter: Well, at least I didn’t suddenly change my age for no reason. I mean, does anyone actually believe that you’re 18 years old?
Leo: I’m sorry, since the author had just signed a contract, it is required for all smutty stuff to be engaged within consenting adults. Therefore, both of our ages have been retconned! So now you can do me as much as you want, Hunter! Without any worries! I’m perfectly legal now! Come over and f**k me! Wait! Come back!
[Leo chases after Hunter as the former starts removing his clothes]
Hunter: Put your clothes back on! Also, you can’t just change your age like nothing had happened! Weren’t you the one saying that we should be more considerate to the readers? What would happen now that we’ve suddenly aged by three years for no reason?!
Leo: Does that really matter? I mean, everyone here is just bearing with the so-called ‘plot’ just for the smut scenes between the two of us. Who would wanna read the sh*tty drama that this no-name author create between our families?
Hunter: Why are you barraging on your own creator?! Also, stop clinging onto my clothes! My pants are going to drop!
Leo: Hehe…
Hunter: Why do you look like a lecherous old man about to molest a schoolgirl on a busy train?!
Leo: Anyways, since you were the one that said we need to compensate our readers for the sudden change, I’ll just have the author expand our smut scene for the next few chapters. That’s going to calm their anger, right?
Hunter: Wait, why are we going to have a smut scene right after this omake chapter? Nobody told me about this? Where did you bring me exactly? I thought we were just going to play a normal escape room experience!
Leo: Ah… you can be so naïve sometimes, Hunter. [Smirks] Well, this daddy here are going to teach you the pleasures that you have never felt before in your whole life.
Hunter: …. I want my Father! Author, please bring him back right now! I need help!
Leo: Stop running and come to daddy!
Hunter: Yamete!
[A naked Leo and a fully clothed Hunter run around in circles for the next few hours. Meanwhile…]
Gray: …
Walker: What is it, my dear hubby?
Gray: I thought I’m on mission in the Middle East, why am I here?
Walker: You were injured, remember?
Gray: But I’ve already recauperated in the hospital! I returned to my post last week!
Walker: As a main character to the story, you need to appear once in awhile, okay? Also, I’m getting a little annoyed with all the PDA that is being displayed between your son and your neighbor’s son. Shouldn’t we also shove some dog food into our reader’s mouths as well?
Gray: I have no idea what you’re talking about, but please bring me back! I need to finish my long-term mission as soon as possible so I can see Hunter again.
Walker: You know… speaking of another man right in front of your lover makes me so jealous.
Gray: What other man? That’s my son we’re talking about!
Walker: Your son is a man, no?
Gray: [Speechless]
Walker: [Sighs] Unfortunately, the author had just told me that we need to cut this segment short, since we still need to give our dear Leo and Hunter time to explain their sudden change in age. To be honest, can we just sum it up as you having f**ked your ex-wife three years earlier while also taking me out as a mistress at the time?
Gray: I’ve never taken you as a mistress before!
Walker: Anyways, here’s the stat cards of our two main characters that you’ll normally see during the half-time of an anime or in the middle of a light novel:
[Name: Leo Wilson
Sex: M
Age: 18?
Birthdate: Aug 31
Height: 175cm
Eyes: Sky Blue
Hair: Blonde
Family: Evan Wilson (Father), June Wilson (Mother)
Likes: Having hot raunchy smex with Hunter, food, being lazy, playing video games
Dislikes: chores, homework, being c*ckblocked
Talents: Having a surprisingly high amount of libido, making everything perverted]
[Name: Hunter Lee
Sex: M
Age: 18?
Birthdate: June 20
Height: 187cm
Eyes: Hazel/Amber
Hair: Black
Family: Lucien Gray (Father), unnamed Mother surnamed Lee
Likes: Leo (secretly, always in denial), being serious, working out, looking after Leo and Gray
Dislikes: Leo being clumsy, Leo being ridiculous, Leo being perverted, Leo not looking after himself, Leo… (goes on forever)
Talents: kung-fu, taekwondo, krav maga, using all sorts of weapons, karate, being overly dramatic]
Leo and Hunter: *viewing each other’s stat menus*
Leo: *exclaims* WTF! Why do you dislike me so much, Hunter! You’re so mean!!! Also, how can you dislike me and like me at the same time? Why are your dislikes only about me? Wait a minute… Hunter… are you a tsundere?
Hunter: *scoffs* with how annoying you behave all the time, who the heck would like you? You’re basically the physical manifestation of a hurricane!
Leo: Oh, that’s why there’s the parentheses ‘secretly, always in denial’ after…
Hunter: Don’t trust the statistics! That’s fake news!
Leo: It’s been personally generated by the author himself, why are you still in denial, Hunter? You obviously like me. Just confess already.
Hunter: … No! … I! ….
Leo: I’m waiting.
Hunter: …. [runs away]
Leo: Wait! Come back! We still haven’t talked about the reason why we suddenly became 18 years old! It’s totally not because we are about to have a raunchy s*x scene afterwards!
Hunter: If you start talking about s*x again, I’ll disappear from your life forever!
Leo: Pfft! No you won’t. Stop joking around, Hunter. There’s a million things you could do but abandoning me is not one of them. Should I tell the author to add that to your stat menu as well?
Hunter: You should tell the author to remove your over-the-top libido instead!
Leo: Why? Isn’t it good that we can give each other pleasure for an extended period of time? All those other BL novels have their ML f**king their MC till the latter faint from being pushed around too much, and they still continue f**king them till kingdom come. As a ML, shouldn’t you do the same to me? Why are you still running away from me Hunter?! Come f**k me until I die of pleasure!
Hunter: No one in their right mind would do that to their lovers!
Leo: Oh, so you’re admitting that I am your lover now?
Hunter: No…. that’s not what I meant! Also, why are you still naked?! That gag is long over since the beginning of the chapter! Put your clothes back on!
Leo: No! I need to get my a*s ready for what I’m going to experience in the next few chapters, if you know what I mean.
Hunter: I don’t! And I don’t want to know what you mean! Stop it and put your clothes back on! Then I’ll consider to stop running away from you.
Leo: *sighs* I’m afraid it’s too late for that, Hunter! We’ve already reached the word count! *immediately stops running*
Everyone, thank you so much for still supporting us even after going premium! I know it must hurt using your pocket money to read our constant bantering, so please enjoy what I’m going to do to Hunter in the future! You’ll definitely like it as much as Hunter and I, if you know what I mean!
Hunter: Stop! We’re thanking our readers here, not trying to get them to read our smut!
Leo: *Ignores Hunter* Please continue supporting us and staying with us for 400 chapters!
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