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My Castle 原創

My Castle

Fantasy 1 章節 7.9K 流覽
作者: Orange_Rain

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摘要

A poem about a king who was marveling at the castle he made himself when an 'acquaintance' arrives.

Warning: Contains soft, minor tragedy.

This is an entry for Writing Prompt Contest #63.

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1評論

  • 寫作品質
  • 更新的穩定性
  • 故事發展
  • 人物形象設計
  • 世界背景

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Chryiss

Hm, interesting. It's a rhythmic poem arranged in short line forms. At first I didn't really like the Bla blah's in parenthesis because I didn't see the fit or connection to the lines before and after them, but then I missed the parenthesis in the middle and liked its reappearance at the end. I also understood the blah blah as the news or chatter by the time the parentheses appeared again. I'm not typically a fan of these types of poems, but I liked how it ended. It took some time for the meaning to come across, but I had an image of a worker sweeping the halls, building the walls etc. rather than the king or queen building the castle. The poem had a bit of a rambling feel to it, like "busy busy as I work to build this castle don't mind others." I felt like it was trying to tell us something deeper in the middle, but I didn't quite catch it. While poems don't have to tell us something deeper, the momentum was lost somewhat in the middle and recovered by the end.

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作者 Orange_Rain