章節 4: Nightmare
"Get the defibrillator!" The loud yell came from the doctor.
I felt like I had been drenched with an ice-cold bucket of water in the face, jolting me out of my trance as I stood up.
Hurried footsteps echoed inside the room, and the medical staff crowded around my Mom's bed.
"Mom!!!" I gasped in fear, rooted to the spot and unable to move.
I could not see her because of the medical staff, but I could hear the soft beeping of the heart monitor. Then, the soft beeps became one continuous beep. I stared blankly at the monitor, paralyzed with fear as I saw a flat line forming.
It felt like my own heart stopped beating.
A nurse arrived with the defibrillator, and they were trying their best to revive her. But their faces were grim, they knew the chances of her living were slim.
"Be prepared for the worst," One of the doctors said regrettably, and my heart dropped to the floor and shattered into a thousand pieces.
I captured mom's frail hands, clinging to them desperately, calling her name over and over again as though I could will her to continue fighting.
Mom was thin, her sagging skin clung to her thin bones. It was heartbreaking to see her like this, but it would crush my heart more if she died like a withered plant right in front of my eyes.
"Please don't do this to me, Mom." I pleaded over and over again until I could no longer hear my voice. At last, my strength faded and I collapsed on the floor.
The nurses grabbed me by the arms and helped me get up. "Calm down," One of the nurses said. "You have to be strong in times like this."
Meanwhile, I saw the doctors swarm around my mother, trying once again to save her.
I anxiously waited outside her room, unable to bear watching as the doctor worked to save her. At that moment, all I could do was hope that she would be alright.
I decided to make my way to the hospital's tiny chapel to pray for God's mercy.
"Please don't take her yet, Lord, it's her birthday today." I sobbed. I collapsed on the wooden bench with tears drifting down my cheeks like a waterfall.
"I understand that you will eventually take her from me, but please grant me more time to cherish her. I have not yet expressed my gratitude for all she has done in raising me. I want to take her to the places she has always wanted to visit and share delicious meals together. Take Ace if you must, but spare my Mom."
I remained kneeling at the altar until the pressure on my knees became unbearable. I rose to my feet and used the sleeve of my shirt to dry my cheeks.
I retraced my steps back to my mother's hospital room with unsteady steps, terrified that I would be welcomed by Mom's cold, unfeeling body.
Thankfully, God had decided to listen to my desperate prayers. I saw my Mom lying on the bed, breathing weakly but she's alive.
The heart monitor had a steady beep. I ran towards her and hugged her tightly, tears soaking my lashes. My body was slumped over her chest.
"Your mother's condition has stabilized for now."
The doctor's news filled my chest with relief. God is good, he listened to my prayers. I nearly leapt forward to hug him in delight, but stopped myself before I could embarrass myself.
"Thank you." I told him, swallowing hard to stop myself from breaking into grateful sobs.
The doctor smiled in response and laid a gentle hand on my shoulders. "You need to take good care of yourself. You can't afford to get sick while looking after your mother." He reminded me with concern before he left to check on the other patients.
When he was gone, I went to the bathroom to freshen up. As I stared at my own reflection in the bathroom mirror, all I could feel was shame.
I almost didn't recognize myself. I was a shell of the beautiful woman I used to be.
My long thick hair that Ace used to love was tangled and frizzy, it laid flat on my scalp, making me look dull and lifeless.
Without makeup on, I didn't look like a natural beauty. In fact, I looked like a reanimated corpse, with my haggard expression and deathly complexion. The only color on my face were my dark eye circles, due to my lack of sleep.
I had been worried over my Mom's condition and trying to make Ace happy, I hadn't been able to sleep peacefully for months.
My clothes were unsightly. They looked so unfashionable that even my own mother once told me my own grandmother would be even embarrassed to wear it in public.
I sighed and looked away from my pathetic reflection, wondering if it was my physical appearance that drove my husband away.
Who would want an ugly wife like you? You're weak and incapable. My brain whispered maliciously, crushing what was left of my self-confidence into smithereens.
The mean voice in my brain sounded suspiciously like Angela's, Ace's secretary. She was always hanging around Ace, making snide comments about me in his presence.
Ace never bothered to defend me. I should have seen the divorce coming a mile away. Come to think of it, were he and Angela involved? Was that why he wanted a divorce? To be with her for good?
I shook my head as I made my way back to Mom's bedside, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest as she slept. There was no time to dwell on negative thoughts. I told myself that it doesn't matter if Ace doesn't want me. I have my mother and that's more than enough.
Even as I drifted off to sleep, a nagging question lingered at the back of my mind, keeping me from finding peace. Was my husband having an affair with Angela?
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