章節 11: Chapter 10 : Closure
[Finn POV]
I looked at the time at the corner of the laptop screen, it was 7:20 PM. We were a few minutes into the episode that was giving me major deja vu vibes but Haley was not paying any attention to the show SHE wanted to watch. She kept fidgeting with her hair and and bed sheets. Ok enough was enough.
I took the laptop out of her hand and kept it aside. Haley lookup up and glared at me.
"What did you do that for?! I was watching that!" I snorted when she said that.
"What's the name of the main character?" I asked her while cocking my head to her side.
"Easy It's Jeff!" a hundred points for the confidence and a negative hundred points for that retarded answer. I let out a sigh that seemed to worry Haley, but she was far too bull headed to retreat now so I had to make some head way here.
"What's up Hales, why are you so uncomfortable?" I said while turning towards her, she seemed to clam up even more. I don't think it's because she's uncomfortable around me, in fact I'm 90% sure it's because she feels guilty. Then there's only one thing to do.
"Ah I guess you feel uncomfortable around a junkie huh?" As soon as I said those words I got the reaction I wanted. She snapped her back back towards me and glared genuinely angry.
"No you absolute moron!" She was getting proper worked up now. "I don't judge you like that! You were just going through a rough time! Besides you're clean now aren't you?" she screamed at me.
I just nodded with a smile on my face, with how much I've seen in my other life the only thing I know for sure is that people only get this angry at you when they either really hate you or really care about you. I know for a fact it ain't the former in this case. Actually what else do I remember from my other life? A thought for another time.
"I am clean now Hales, so why are you uncomfortable around me?" and she went back to fidgeting instead of being angry, get it out of your system woman.
"I feel guilty for not talking to you..." ladies and gentlemen, we got her. I started laughing to which Haley hit my arm multiple times.
"It's not funny you dork! I feel really bad for not being there when you need help..." she did abandon me like the rest, but at least she feels bad about it and wants to repent I guess?
"I don't really blame you Haley, no one wants to be around a junkie whose life is going to shit." I really need to lessons on how to comfort people because that did the exact opposite, I saw a few tears starting to gather in the corners of her eyes. Ah god damnit...
I grabbed her hands and started rubbing my thumbs in circular patterns, it was something I did with my girlfriend a lot after arguments and shit. Ah there's something I remember!
"Haley I really don't blame you, high school kids aren't meant to deal heavy shit." Honestly in my heart of hearts I really do blame her, and everyone else for not reaching out to me when I was crashing and burning. For not pulling me out of the train wreck.
"No! I should have reached out but I was scared..." yeah that's exactly what everyone is, scared of being labeled to junkie, sacred of being an outcast, scared of being a loser. At the end of the day it's always about social standings, never about a human life.
"I was scared of who you were becoming, I couldn't see the Finn who playfully flirted with me always. The person I could turn to for advice, all I saw was a husk of a human and that scared me so much. I guess I just wanted to remember you as who you were. I'm really sorry for that, I should have reached out, I should have known how much you were hurting.. I should have- " I just pulled her into a hug and I could feel my shirt getting damp.
Damn, logically speaking I should be the one crying but I've already come to terms with the fact that everyone I knew had abandoned me as a lost cause. It's honestly reassuring that not all of them threw me away because I didn't have use anymore. What Haley did was selfish as fuck, and yet she still cared. Which is more than can be said for literally anyone else right now.
"Alright, I blame you for not reaching out. I really wanted your support back then." I started going off and I could feel Haley stiffen in my embrace. She pulled out the embrace and nodded her head like she was accepting blame.
"So I want you to make it up to me from now on, be my friend again. And this time don't leave me." I said with a smile, I could hold onto this grudge and let it end this friendship for good. But what good does that really do? I could forget everyone here and just speedrun my way to university and go find a well paying job and life would be great.
But humans are social beings, we aren't robots. I want friends, relationships and family. And if it's gonna take effort to get all three of those then that's effort I'm willing to put in.
Haley looked shocked and then started giggling, she just hugged me again.
"Sure, this time I won't let you down..." I patted her head, this gave both of us some very much needed closure. I way thinking of just ignoring everyone at school but I guess I'll wait and see who extends an olive branch.
"So anyway Hales, it's 7:35PM right now. Can we please start on that home work. I swear I'm gonna get kicked out of school." I could feel her laughing in our embrace, and then I could feel a nod.
"God, now you're becoming a nerd." She got up and pulled out a few books.
"These books have all the notes I have, which is practically nothing. But the last pages have all the homework topics and their deadlines. Look through those, I'll go wash my face and be back." And with that she speeded out of the room, he face was kind of a mess with all the crying and all.
A few minutes later Haley came back looking much better and she sat next to me, I was looking through the chemistry homework. Organic reactions were about as annoying a rat infestation. God, I'm so fucked...
Then out of nowhere Claire smashed the door open, almost hitting my guitar. Thank god it didn't hit...
She just stared at me and Haley, first in fear then shock then embarrassment and finally in shame.
Now what the flying fuck is going on in her head?
每周推薦票狀態
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