章節 43: The Bright Ahead
~ TARKYN ~
Tarkyn understood it, her inability to feel free if her people were in chains. He would have said the same thing. Knowing that their hearts beat in the same time only strengthened his resolve to help the Chimera. But how…? That was the question.
It was a problem he knew he couldn't solve that night. And looking into the eyes of his beautiful mate, he wanted to ignore the problems and simply steal what joy they could.
She was here.
She was safe in his arms.
That was something to be celebrated.
"Tell me," he whispered, still stroking her hair. "Tell me what freedom looks like for you. Let's build it in our minds, and then we'll fight for it, Harth. Together."
Her chin wobbled as her face broke into a smile of joy. She put her hands to his face searching his eyes.
"Freedom is… choices. Freedom is waking up in your arms without having to think about who might come and tear me out of them. Freedom is peace because I know I'm safe, and the people I love are safe, and my mate… my mate is safe, and he's safety. For me," she whispered, her expression peppered with a strange mix of fear and faith. "Freedom is living without fear. Freedom is loving without anyone telling me not to, or… or trying to take you away from me. Freedom is having loved ones close and smiling. Laughing. No need to fight or protect them, because there is no threat. Freedom is…" she trailed off and held her breath for a second, like she had to force herself to say it. "Freedom is having offspring in a place where they are allowed to grow and learn without being taken… if I can."
Tarkyn's breath rushed out of him, joy bringing tears to his eyes. "You desire offspring with me?"
Her forehead pinched into lines and she stroked his face. "Tarkyn… I didn't know who you were, but I have waited for you. You're the only one I've ever wanted offspring with. It would be the greatest joy of my life if… if we could."
A tiny laugh broke in his throat and he kissed her, cupping her face in both his hands, babbling excitedly about the Pride, and the females and how they'd help her, and how the males would tease him, but that they would all welcome their young.
But as his joy grew and he sank deeper and deeper into his own dreams, trying to paint the picture for her, instead of wallowing in it with him, he felt her tense. Her expression got darker.
"What?" he asked suddenly, breaking off. "What's wrong?"
"I hope, Tarkyn," she said quietly, her voice hoarse. "I hope that the Creator will find a way for us, but… when you and I breed… We're different, Tarkyn! Different species… our young—"
"Don't worry!" he said excitedly. "Anima young take one or the other of their parents. If we're able to have them, our young will be wolf or lion—"
"That's not how it works for me, Tarkyn," she said, her voice high and quiet. "That's not how it works for the Chimera at all."
Then he sat there, dumbfounded as she described a living nightmare. An entire race of people first created by the humans in failed experiments, then birthed at times by Chimera who didn't know better than to choose mates outside the species. And their young… they were not people. Half human, half beast, they were healthy and vital… but not human. And not animal. They did not shift, but their bodies were formed twisting from human to beast and back again—creatures that belonged nowhere, to no one. All of them male. No two of them ever the same.
"Chimera can't breed outside our species… every time we do, it results in a Creature sentenced to be alone for the rest of his life. Tarkyn… I don't even know if I can have offspring but if I can… what if it's Chimera? What if he gets left alone for his entire life?"
Tarkyn was stunned.
They stared at each other, and Tarkyn felt her fear—both of the consequence of their joining for any potential child, but also that he would reject her. Her heart thrummed within her, terrified that this might send him away.
"Harth, you hear me," he said fiercely, when he realized she was beginning to lean away, fearful of his response. He pulled her closer, stared into her eyes, and let himself feel everything so she'd know he was true. "No matter what comes for us, no matter what we face, I will never leave you," he growled. "I know we can't be certain of much, but you can be certain of that. I am yours to my bones. I will. Not. Leave you."
Tears sprang into her eyes, tipping over her lashes and trailing down her cheeks as he continued to whisper the loyalty of his heart. But even more than that.
"I begged for you, Harth. I was willing to die to find you—and I do not, and will not regret that. I asked the Creator to bring you and He has. He makes no mistakes. If you are here, we were made for each other." She sobbed and tried to lean into his chest, but he made her keep looking at him. "No matter what we face… I have to trust that it was meant to be. And if we are blessed with offspring… whatever they are, however they look, they will never be alone because they will have us."
She threw her arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. Tarkyn swallowed and swallowed, desperate to control his own emotion, but it was difficult.
"We share the same dream, my love," he whispered, then kissed her hair. "Peace. Freedom. A family. No defenses. No enemy. It will be the joy of my life to find that with you."
They held each other for a long time. He stroked her hair, while she stroked his chest, both of them working to get their emotions under control.
But it was Harth who broke the silence. Snuggling her face into his neck, she sighed. "I want all of this with you. I want the world to go away so that we can run after this. This whole thing… it's such a shitshow. I feel like you're mine, but not yet mine. Or maybe I'm yours but not yours yet… do you understand?"
Did he! He huffed humorlessly. Everything in him yearned for her—had yearned for her since the moment he'd recognized the bond.
"I do… of course I do," he murmured. "and you are mine. But also, you will be. And I'll be yours. Wholly."
Her little hand tightened on his shoulder. "Tarkyn, I want to complete the bond."
He groaned. "So do I."
She looked worriedly into his eyes. "Are you feeling strong?"
He wanted to roar. "Harth, I would give my last breath to have you, but… we have to… discuss some things. I need to understand some things for my people and my Queen, and you'll need to as well. We have to bridge the divide so that our bond, when it's complete, is an asset. It means we'll have to listen carefully to each other. Will you promise to listen? I will."
"Of course, I'll listen. I want this with you, Tarkyn. I want all of this."
Joy and desire bubbling in his chest, Tarkyn took a deep breath, pulled her back so they could watch each other, measure each other, be reassured of their truths… then he began to speak. And as he spoke, he prayed both that she would see his heart. And that he could hear hers. And that the Creator would use them to bring two broken, hurting peoples together.
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