章節 1: 1. Insecurities
As I stepped into the crowded bar, I couldn't help but feel a little out of place. "I'm more of a 'watch YouTube and chill' kind of girl," I told Mia, "but you convinced me to come out tonight."
"I know, I know," Mia said with a grin. "But trust me, you're going to have a great time. And who knows, you might even meet someone cute!"
I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help but smile at my friend's enthusiasm. "Yeah, right. You do know I have a boyfriend."
As I scanned the room, my eyes fell on a tall, dark-haired man sitting at the bar. "Oh, wow," I said to Mia. "Look at that guy over there. He's kind of cute."
Mia followed my gaze and smirked. "Kind of cute? Girl, he's smoking hot. You should go talk to him."
I shook my head. "No way, I could never do that. Why don't you go and talk to him?"
Mia put a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, don't sell yourself short. You're amazing, and any guy would be lucky to talk to you. But alright, I'll show you how a master gets it done. Take note."
I smiled gratefully at my friend. "Thanks, Mia. Show me how it's done, girl!"
Mia flashed me a confident smile and strode over to the bar, taking a seat next to the dark-haired man. I watched as she struck up a conversation with him, tossing her hair and laughing at his jokes. It wasn't long before she was leaning in close, her hand resting on his arm.
My stomach tightened with a mix of envy and anxiety. Part of me was thrilled to see Mia so bold and charming, but another part of me felt left out and unsure of what to do next.
As the minutes ticked by, I sipped my drink and tried to look casual, but my eyes kept darting back to Mia and the man at the bar. Finally, I saw her gesture towards me, and the man turned to look in my direction.
He was even hotter up close, with piercing blue eyes and a chiseled jawline. My heart rate quickened as he smiled at me, and I felt a flush creeping up my neck.
"Hey," he said, his voice deep and smooth. "Your friend tells me you're the brains of the operation. What's your name?"
I laughed nervously, feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush. "I'm Sarah. And Mia's just being silly. We're both pretty smart."
He chuckled. "I can tell. Listen, can I get you ladies another round? It's on me."
I hesitated, unsure if I wanted to accept his offer. But Mia was already nodding eagerly, and I didn't want to seem rude. "Sure, that sounds great. Thanks."
As the man ordered our drinks, I leaned over to Mia and whispered, "What are you doing? I thought you were just having fun!"
Mia grinned wickedly. "I am having fun! And so are you, I can tell. Just go with it, Sarah. Who knows where the night might take us?"
As I pulled out my phone and saw Tom's name on the screen, my heart sank. I knew he wouldn't be happy about me being out at a bar without him, but I'd hoped he would at least try to be supportive.
"Hey, Tom," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "What's up?"
"What's up? What's up is that you're out at a bar, drinking and flirting with strangers. How could you do this to me, Sarah? I thought we had something special."
I winced, feeling a pang of guilt and frustration. Tom had always been controlling, but lately it seemed like he was getting worse. I knew I needed to stand up for myself, but I wasn't sure how.
"Tom, I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I'm allowed to have fun with my friends. You can't keep controlling me like this."
There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and I could hear Tom breathing heavily. "I'm not trying to control you, Sarah. I just care about you. And I don't want to see you get hurt."
I rolled my eyes, feeling a surge of anger. "Well, you're not doing a very good job of showing it. If you really cared about me, you'd trust me and support me."
Tom sighed. "I do trust you, Sarah. I just worry about all the creeps out there. You know how dangerous it can be for a woman to go out alone."
I gritted my teeth, feeling like I was talking to a brick wall. "I'm not alone, Tom. I'm with Mia. And I can take care of myself. I'm not a child."
There was another long pause, and I wondered if Tom had hung up. But then he spoke again, his voice softer this time. "I'm sorry, Sarah. I just get insecure sometimes, you know? I love you."
I felt a twinge of guilt and frustration, despite myself. Tom could be overbearing and annoying, but he did care about me. And maybe I needed to be more patient and understanding with him.
"I love you too, Tom," I said, trying to sound sincere. "But I need you to stop being so controlling. Can you do that?"
There was a long pause, and I held my breath. But then Tom spoke.
"I can't just stop being controlling, Sarah," Tom said, his voice rising. "I need to know where you are and who you're with. I need to make sure you're safe."
I felt a surge of anger, feeling like I was talking to a child. "I'm not a child, Tom. And I don't need you to babysit me. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."
Tom let out a deep sigh. "I just don't want anything bad to happen to you, Sarah. I care about you."
"I know you care about me, Tom," I said, trying to sound calm. "But you can't control me like this. It's not healthy. We need to learn to trust each other."
"I do trust you, Sarah," Tom said, his voice shaking. "It's everyone else I don't trust. You never know what kind of people are out there."
"I understand your concern, Tom," I said, feeling my patience wearing thin. "But you can't just demand to know where I am and who I'm with all the time. It's not fair to me."
Tom let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry, Sarah. I just get so scared sometimes. I don't want to lose you."
"I know you don't want to lose me, Tom," I said, feeling a twinge of guilt. "But you can't control me like this. It's not healthy. We need to learn to trust each other."
There was a long pause, and I wondered if Tom had hung up. But then he spoke again, his voice softening. "I know, Sarah. I'll try to be better, I promise. Just please be careful out there, okay?"
"I'll be careful, Tom," I said, feeling my patience wearing thin. "But you need to start trusting me. Otherwise, we can't have a healthy relationship."
Tom let out a deep sigh. "I understand, Sarah. I'll try to do better. I just get so scared sometimes."
"I know you get scared, Tom," I said, feeling a surge of frustration. "But you can't let your fear control our relationship. We need to work together to build trust."
Tom was silent for a long moment, and I wondered if he was going to respond. But then he spoke again, his voice softening. "I know, Sarah. I'll try to do better. I just want to make you happy."
"I know you want to make me happy, Tom," I said, feeling a glimmer of hope. "And I appreciate that. But we need to do it in a healthy way. We need to learn to communicate and trust each other."
"I know, Sarah," Tom said, his voice sounding defeated. "I'll try to do better. I just don't want to lose you."
"I don't want to lose you either, Tom," I said, feeling a pang of guilt. "But we need to work on this together. We can't keep going like this."
There was a long pause, and I wondered if Tom was going to respond. But then he spoke again, his voice sounding more determined. "You're right, Sarah. I'll work on trusting you more. And we can work on communicating better. I want to make this work."
As I hung up the phone, I took a deep breath and tried to shake off the tension. I knew that Tom and I had a lot of work to do, but I was hopeful that we could make things better.
I looked around the bar and saw that it was starting to fill up with people. The music was getting louder, and the energy was picking up. I decided to order a drink and try to enjoy the rest of my night.
As I sipped my drink, I couldn't help but think about Tom and our conversation. I wondered if we could really make things work, or if we were just delaying the inevitable.
But then I reminded myself that I couldn't predict the future. All I could do was take things one day at a time and try to make the best of it. And for now, that meant enjoying the company of my friends and letting myself unwind.
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