章節 1: When Caffeine hits harder than Thanos
In the darkness, digging on the ground was a silhouette of a handsome man, body like Chris Hemsworth, smile like Ryan Reynolds, and flirty like Tony Stark, fk it. Who am I kidding it was a thin boy.
Dig. Dig. Dig.
"Great. Just fking great. ", I couldn't help but curse, as I dug the ground, but no view of what I was looking for.
So, what. Now I am to die in this God forsaken world, where people kill each other, just because they can? Normal villains get some great teachers, who somehow make them an OP character.
Would there be another reincarnation?
I couldn't help but shake my head in depression.
The reason?
Well that's simple. It is because I died.
And then I got reincarnated.
That's not the bad thing, right?
Guess what?
I got reincarnated in the Marvel world. Not sure if it is comic one, game one or movie one. But I am pretty sure I saw the newspaper correctly. The name written on it was Tony fking Stark. Yep, the billionaire, the role model of every Marvel lover. Yeah.
And guess what my name is?
Peter.
Nah, not the Peter Quill Peter.
I am Peter fking Parker. And I study at Midtown High. And I have a best friend named Gwen Stacy.
Now as a reincarnator in Marvel world as Peter Parker is good, right? So why am I angry and depressed?
A very good question.
But the answer. Not very good.
But before I do the grand reveal, let's go back a bit.
$Going back a bit$
Dig. Dig. Dig.
"Great. Just fking great.... "
"Wait a minute. Not this bit back. I meant backer than bit back. U get it? Fk. The author is a motherfking psycho. He just likes to over work his character.
"Yeah. Obviously I am in some author's fanfiction. I always thought reincarnation is all that shit in fanfics and novels. And now I got reincarnated, and there is that thing called Omniverse. That means every literary piece is a real world. So definitely I am in someone's fanfiction in some alternate world. So anyway, by going back a bit. I meant going back to where it all began. "
$Going back to where it all began$
"So, before I got zapped into Marvel-land, I was just your average guy. Nothing too flashy, unless you count my impressive ability to procrastinate and my semi-professional status in avoiding anything remotely productive. Yup, life was simple. Alarm rings, I snooze. Alarm rings again, I snooze. Third time? I'm just lying there, contemplating the meaning of life—or, you know, whether I can skip breakfast and still have enough energy to drag myself to work.
Work, by the way, wasn't exactly a dream job. It was the kind of place where your soul goes to die, slowly, with all the flair of a drying sponge. But hey, every office has its perks, right? Like free coffee...that tastes like regret. And let's not forget my boss, Mr. "Motivation-In-A-Suit," who somehow managed to make corporate speak sound like Shakespeare...if Shakespeare had no imagination and hated happiness.
Now, don't get me wrong, I had dreams. Big dreams! I mean, who doesn't dream of being rich, famous, and...uh, not at my desk from nine to five every day? But, you know, dreaming takes energy, and I was mostly focused on staying awake and pretending I understood Excel.
Anyway, life was chugging along, no superhero powers, no crazy villains, just me, a mountain of student debt, and a remarkable lack of direction. Then one day, I managed to pull off a truly spectacular move...by dying. Don't ask me how; it was a total accident. One minute I'm there, the next I'm...not. Pretty anticlimactic, right?
And here I am now, reincarnated in a world of superheroes, gods, and the occasional snarky AI. Let's just say it's a little more intense than my cubicle, but hey, I'm getting used to it. I mean, superpowers aren't half bad...and I don't have to check my email. Silver linings."
Well, let's go back to the accident part..
So, let's talk about how I...uh, 'checked out' of my last life. Spoiler: I didn't go out in a blaze of glory. No heroic last stand, no dramatic farewell speech. Nope, my grand exit was more like...well, a very undignified 'whoops.'
It was a regular Tuesday. I'd just wrapped up a highly productive day of pretending to work and Googling if it was socially acceptable to take three coffee breaks before noon. On my way home, I decided to make one last pit stop at the convenience store—you know, to grab some life essentials. Chips, soda, and a pack of those instant noodles that taste like cardboard but don't require effort.
As I'm juggling my snacks, I spot this 'limited edition' energy drink on the shelf. Now, I'm no stranger to bad life choices, so naturally, I grabbed it. It promised 'an explosion of energy!' and something about 'unlocking your potential'—how was I supposed to resist? I downed it in the parking lot like I was training for the X Games, expecting a caffeine high. What I didn't expect was...uh...whatever happened next.
One second, I'm standing there, buzzing with caffeine-induced confidence. The next, my heart's playing the drum solo from a rock concert, and I'm feeling like a live wire in a thunderstorm. I start seeing spots, hearing a weird ringing noise, and thinking, 'Well, this can't be good.'
Then...bam! My vision goes white. I'm thinking, 'Did I just ascend? Am I the new superhero of heart palpitations?' But no. Just me, accidentally overdosing on a ridiculous energy drink that might as well have been labeled 'Warning: Side Effects May Include Spontaneous Reincarnation.'
And that, my friends, is how I found myself in a new world—because I decided to challenge an energy drink. Looking back, I should've just stuck to coffee.
So yeah. That's how I died. A good ol caffeine intoxication. Guess that's why they say, never chug high caffeine energy drinks and the good old sting.
A/N: Heya PPL. This is my new way of writing. I decided to write... Humorously. Was this funny? Idk. I laughed a bit while writing. Rest is up to u guys. So this is my new novels/fanfiction. I don't plan to make it as per the movie plot. But I would if I need to. So it won't be that constant with the plot thing. But it would be fun.
Need more chapters? I know u need them right?
Ah. No need to lie. I know every fking one loves advanced chapters. So join my patreon.
TOP SECRET!!!!!
IT IS CHEAP.
3$ FOR BEING WATCHER
7$ FOR BEING WARPER
15$ FOR BEING ARCHITECT
EACH ONE HAS IT'S OWN BENEFIT. FOR MOST BENEFIT ARCHITECT IS THE TIER YOU WANT...
YOU CAN EVEN ENJOY MY OTHER WORKS. SO YEAH..
IT IS CHEAP. IT IS CHEAPER THAN A SINGLE LATTE AT STARBUCKS (AND WAY MORE SATISFYING). IT'S CHEAPER THAN THE ORGANIC KALE YOU KEEP SAYING "YOU'LL ACTUALLY USE IN SMOOTHIES THIS TIME" . HECK, IT'S CHEAPER THAN A MOVIE TICKET—EXCEPT INSTEAD OF WATCHING SOME HOLLYWOOD STAR SAVE THE WORLD, YOU GET TO SEE *ME* (AWKWARDLY) TRY TO SURVIVE THE MARVEL UNIVERSE WITH CAFFEINE JITTERS.
SO YEAH, IT'S BASICALLY THE BEST $3, $7, OR $15 YOU'LL SPEND…IF YOU ENJOY CHAOS, QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS, AND SOME VERY RELATABLE EXISTENTIAL DREAD.
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票