Chapter 28. Fleeting Cruelty
"Finally," Harry muttered under his breath as his father floo-ed into the headmaster's office.
The last fifteen minutes had been hectic and confusing. He remembered being shaken awake by his mum and being ordered to put on his clothes. He had been groggy and tried to pull her back against him—a reasonable action since it was freaking two in the chilly morning. But her insistent tone and the bleeding corpse in his periphery had drained him of all his drowsiness.
Before he could have asked what the hell happened, loud ringing bells alarmed everyone, bringing chaos to every part of the castle. Dumbledore had phoenixed into the room next and looked staggered but relieved to see him. The old man then commanded them to follow, informing them that something big had happened and that their safety was in jeopardy.
That was why he and his mum were in his office. So was the corpse, along with three living men garbed in similar black overalls. But the Evanses weren't the only ones here. His siblings were there too, embracing him the moment he entered. Susan and Julian were clutching his arms even now, relying on him for support.
"What is the meaning of this?" His mum glowered at the unconscious men strewn on the floor, starting the conversation now that his father was present.
"This is what I can tell. I woke up when I felt a slight shift in the wards. I'd have missed it if I wasn't such a light sleeper," Dumbledore began with a heavy sigh. He was seated behind his claw-footed desk, somehow managing to look intimidating even in a blue floral night robe. "I went out to investigate it and stumbled upon one of them carrying Julian. I subdued him immediately, but by then, one more came; this one had Susan. It didn't take me long to join the dots and arrive at a dreadful conclusion. This was an attack targeting James' family. I put the castle on lockdown and promptly rushed to Harry's room, locating one more intruder on the way. But his room was empty, and I expected worse, so I was quite happy to see him safe and sound with you when I flamed into your quarters."
His mum gave a stiff nod, standing rigid with her arms crossed. "Harry was sleeping with me. He was tired after our training, so I asked him to stay, and it was way past curfew anyway. Then I was woken up by an intruder just a little while ago. The moment I saw him approaching Harry with a wand, I panicked and killed him."
The result was lying there for all of them to see: a man with a wand pierced through his eye socket.
Julian and Susan grimaced, turning away.
Realising that there were kids around, the headmaster quickly conjured a blanket and draped it over the dead body. "I am sorry."
Harry wasn't sure if the apology was directed at his siblings or his mum.
"They've taken Lena," came his father's sombre declaration. The room fell into a hushed stillness as he slid an envelope across the desk, then slumped into his chair, seemingly wishing to vanish within its comforting embrace. "I found this waiting for me when I got back home."
Harry noticed the way Susan and Julian froze, sporting blank looks, unable to comprehend what was just said. Even his heart plunged into his stomach, making him nauseous. He ignored his own unease and gave them a reassuring squeeze before peeking at his mum.
She looked sad, but not that sad.
When their gazes met, she responded with a single, determined nod.
He bit back a smile.
Everything would be alright.
"Wha–what is written in the letter?" Susan asked in a halting voice, her fingers digging into his forearm.
He ignored the sting of pain and drew her closer, rubbing his palm along her spine.
Dumbledore leant back in his throne-like seat, exhaling. "These people are from an unnamed secret organisation. In the envelope is a magical contract that demands James sign it and revert his decision to withdraw from ICW. It also demands that he not break the Statue of Secrecy."
Harry didn't have to ask what would happen if his father refused.
Apparently, Susan needed to hear it. Perhaps she was begging not to hear what she was assuming. "What if dad refuses to sign the contract?"
"They will kill my family. But since this attack was unsuccessful, only Lena will be killed," his father answered in a helpless manner, tugging at his hair.
Both Susan and Julian flinched within his arms.
'Only Lena will be killed.' Harry's eyes narrowed, fury seeping into his mind like a poisonous gas. His father must have thought the same when he duped Voldemort to attack them on Halloween. 'Only Harry and Lily will be killed.'
"But you won't refuse it, right? You will save mum, right, dad?" Julian spoke up for the first time, his trembling voice full of hope, bringing Harry out of his rageful thoughts and making his heart twist.
…
Only silence greeted Julian's query.
Harry winced and pulled his little brother tighter in his arms, trying to stop him from tumbling down the well of despair. But Julian wrenched away and stopped beside their father. "You will save mum, right, dad? You are so powerful! You can easily do that."
Their father simply hung his head and refused to answer. Harry didn't think he had ever seen a more pathetic man. And this man was supposed to be Arthur Reborn? This was the man who everyone admired and revered?
He'd rather not have a father than have this worm.
"You can use Veritaserum and get mum's location from them, right?" Susan came up with an obvious solution, pointing towards the three unconscious men with a quivering hand; her blue eyes were overflowing with tears, and a hint of hysteria affected her tone.
"Right! The truth serum." Julian let out a shaky grin and returned to Harry's side, nestling against him once again.
Dumbledore shook his head, squashing their budding hope. "I already went through their minds. Their secrets are secured with many layers of magic and contracts. They won't be able to say anything before the magical whiplash kills them. And I've gleaned that they are prepared to die for their cause."
"There must be something," Susan hissed with clenched fists, tears running down her cheeks, glaring at their father, who refused to meet her eyes. "Please, dad, please."
…
The coward had yet to utter a single word.
The old man butted in when the uncomfortable silence stretched on. "Of course. Don't worry, Susan. The deadline is for a week. We will save your mother; you can be sure of that. We will think of something."
Harry didn't know if he should hate Dumbledore for this sweet, consoling lie. His smile was untrue, and his eyes were grim. There was no way he himself believed the shit he was spouting. And his father's depressed state didn't actually grant his siblings the chance to latch onto the false hope. He questioned the purpose of this deceitful lie.
There was not much to say after that, and they trickled out of the office, leaving James fucking Potter with Dumbledore.
"Everything will be alright," he said firmly to his siblings before they parted ways, pulling them for one last crushing hug.
They merely nodded, and Harry was unsure if they believed him or not. He wouldn't be surprised if they didn't, not after Dumbledore's unconvincing lie.
It didn't matter anyway. He would bring Lena back before the sun rose.
He would not let them suffer for long.
~xXxXx~
"You know, this must be ICW." Dumbledore stated the moment others were gone, pushing his moon glasses up his long nose.
"Yes, this must be them. I wish I could say I'm shocked." James picked up the strange dagger. It had a silver blade and a unique cylindrical, glassy, red hilt with magnets and wire wound intricately in its confines. "But I've never thought they could make something like this. Something that can leave ancient wards obsolete."
Dumbledore nodded, his eyes bereft of his usual twinkle. "Take it and ask the Ministry to make defences against it. We can't afford another attack."
"I will."
"What about Lena?"
"You already know my answer." James wiped his moist eyes with the back of his hand, forcing his voice to be steady.
"For the good of all."
"For the good of all," James repeated with anguish.
~xXxXx~
Harry shut the door after he followed his mum to her room, his anger bubbling inside him.
She had been entirely silent in the office, not showing any reaction to the farce that might take Lena away from them. While most would think she was heartless, he knew better. Yes, his mum was selfish and self-serving, but she wasn't cruel. She had never been.
Lily Evans was good and kind.
She had been silent back there because she was busy scanning through the intruders' memories. After all, those kidnappers can hide their memories from foreign influence, but can they hide them from their own souls?
"Where is Lena?" He came to stand in front of her as she flopped down on the edge of the bed.
"Not that far. Only a couple of miles away from here. In an inconspicuous cabin in the woods," she replied, giving him an odd look, leaning back on her hands, and crossing her leg over her knee.
Something was different in her gaze. He couldn't place the emotion shining in her eyes.
"Let's go and save her."
"Do we have to?"
He blinked at the question. "Of course. We can't let her die. And she will if we don't hurry up."
"Actually, we can; let her die, that is. She is not someone very important to us. Just a friend of mine and your stepmother. I don't think we have anyone very important to us other than each other." She lay down on her back, dangling her legs from the edge, her airy nightdress riding up to show her toned thighs. "It's just you and I, is it not?"
Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. Something might be happening to Lena right now, and here his mum was, talking absolute nonsense.
"Yes, but Lena is Lena. I can't let her die. I like her. I love her. She is family. So are Susan and Julian." He pinched himself to control his tone so he wouldn't end up yelling.
He didn't want to fight with his mum now, or ever, for that matter. Really, this was not the appropriate time for his mum to get territorial. She was the most important person in his life, true, but that didn't mean there weren't others he cared for.
"What if there are a hundred men waiting to kill you?" She proposed casually.
"Then we will kill them all." He snapped, unable to contain his anger anymore.
"Good." She jumped to her feet, surprising him with how quickly she came around. "I will allow you to take the lead and kill the kidnapper. There's only one guarding Lena. So it will be easy. It's high time you grow up in certain areas. Can't let you be naive and sheltered forever."
He stilled, and his face paled. "Wait, wait, wait, I didn't mean it. I don't want to kill anyone."
"Are you still hung up about the kids you forced to commit suicide?" She narrowed her eyes, looking both sympathetic and annoyed.
"That was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose. It was not my fault." He whispered, thunder rumbling in his ear; that was all he could hear—the loud thumpings within his chest; even his mum's voice sounded as if it were coming from afar.
She cupped his face, her breath blowing over his lips. "Then today you will do it on purpose. That's my price for saving Lena. Remember, Harry, death is not the end. People are reborn. Killing is not the worst thing to do. Sometimes you have to kill to get something. I want you to learn that. I want you to experience that, so you can understand and progress."
"But-"
"No buts." She pressed her finger over his lips. "Do you know how I got my magic?"
"Lucifer gave it back to you," he mumbled distractedly.
She shook her head. "No, he wouldn't; he couldn't. I got it from Belphegor. She gave my magic back in exchange for a massacre. That's how Godric's Hollow disappeared. It was not the muggles who bombed it. It was Belphegor. I finally became the demon summoner everyone falsely accused me of. Such an irony."
…
…
"No." Harry stumbled back away from her, his eyes brimming with horror. "You would never do that."
"True, I wouldn't have done that before." She sighed at his appalled expression. "But once I realised death was not the end, I understood there was no reason to hold back. If some hundred people have to die for me to regain my magic, then so be it; I'm fine with it."
"But so many people died. Children died in their sleep. Entire families exploded from the bombings. Mothers and sons like us got killed in the raid. How could you do that, mum?" He collapsed on his butt, unable to believe his sweet mum could take so many lives with such nonchalance. It almost felt like he didn't know her.
"Death is not the end. They will be reborn."
"Great! Throw a party when someone kills me because I'll be reborn." He shrieked, unable to help himself.
The sudden flare of rage in her eyes displayed her hypocrisy. She blew out a tired breath and proffered her arm. "Sorry, Harry. I'm not in the right state of mind. Forget about this discussion. Let's go and bring Lena back."
He clasped her hand and allowed her to pull him to his feet. He closed his eyes and braced himself, burying his disgust under the overwhelming love he held for her. Then he looked at her resolutely. "I'll kill this man, mum."
Her eyes widened, and she shook her head. "As I said, I was not in the right state of mind. You don't have to. I already have so much blood on my hands. One more will change nothing."
He swept her into his arms, his lips stealing a brief kiss. "I'll kill him, so I will have blood on my hands too. Then we will be equal. We will be the same. You won't feel lonely anymore. You won't feel guilty or different. It will be just you and I."
…
She let out a watery chuckle. "How do you even know my feelings better than me? How can you word it so clearly when I can't make any sense of it myself?"
"Because I love you. And I will keep loving you, no matter whatever you do."
If the way the tenseness bled out of her was any indication, that was the only promise she needed to hear.
~xXxXx~
The woods were dark; even the moon had forsaken them tonight. The trees here grew so thickly that it was difficult to navigate through the dense foliage. But as they squeezed past into the clearing, they halted, sensing the thrum of magic from the other side of the expansive glade.
"Where is the cabin?"
His mum's eyes glowed from mirth as she glared at something in the distance. "Ah, it's hidden under the Fidelius Charm. Even I cannot see it."
Harry scrunched his brows, going through his head at the mention of the familiar word. Then he remembered the charm. It enabled a person to hide a location in their soul. And unless the secret keeper themselves revealed it, no one would be able to sneak into a particular area.
"If Lena wasn't in there, I'd have suggested burning that part of the forest to the ground. Fidelius or not, the cabin would have been destroyed by the flames. But since we are on a rescue quest, we can't do that." Her lips twitched, as if this were some joke.
Perhaps she was trying to bring some levity to the situation.
It wasn't working.
"We can use Magiscape. Fidelius won't be able to hide the souls from the soulscape. Then we will infiltrate the kidnapper's soul and ask him to tell us the secret."
She hummed and responded positively. "True. But we can just kill him. That will destroy the Fidelius Charm anyway."
"Right. I'll do that." Harry acquiesced, closing his fingers into a fist before they could start trembling.
She grabbed his fist and shot him a soft, motherly look. "You don't have to do it. I was just being selfish. You don't have to humour my fleeting cruelty."
He turned towards her and produced a weak grin. "I have to. I don't want you to feel like you're alone in something. Now that you're a murderer, I'll be a murderer too."
It was not exactly the same. She had committed genocide, however indirectly, while he was going to kill a kidnapper, who might or might not be evil. But it was the thought that would count. It would show her that he didn't see her differently after that revelation. It would make her realise that there were no limits he wasn't willing to cross for her and that he would jump right into hell to follow her.
"Okay." She acknowledged his resolve with a small, pleased smile. "Can you use Magiscape from here? Is he in your range? The distance between us and the hidden cabin is around fifty metres."
"I can do it, I think. I will try." Harry sat down cross-legged in the tall grass and closed his eyes. He didn't allow himself to get distracted when she dropped to her knees and hugged him from behind, pressing her large, firm, round bosom against the back of his head.
Usually, he would keep his eyes open to use Magiscape; he had gotten proficient enough to do that. But it was too dark to see, and the distance was also vast. Shoving his consciousness directly into Magiscape should make the task a lot easier.
He found the semi-imaginary ball of magic somewhere inside him. Once his consciousness dropped into it, all he could see were golden lights. But he kept moving, and not a moment later, he felt a tug. He let himself be dragged by that tugging feeling, and he got vacuumed.
He was in Magiscape.
The entire process barely took a second, such was his skill and familiarity.
He was greeted by a slimy, golden sea in which he stood knee-deep. It spread in every direction, making it seem like the sea was infinite. Above him swirled golden mists like fine sand particles caught up in a storm, which he had come to know were the 'cleaner' souls preparing to depart this realm, waiting to be reborn.
He looked at himself, and as expected, he was just a golden silhouette, a nearly ethereal thing shackled by the sea of souls.
Harry understood why Lucifer had called this realm a graveyard. He could imagine himself melting and dropping into the golden waters like candle wax once he died, indistinguishable from all the other souls, from all the other candles.
Behind him was another silhouette: his mum. And ahead of him, some distance away, were two more silhouettes. Unlike the real world, this realm wasn't dark. The only colours here were gold and grey. There was no room for black.
A tendril—not unlike an octopus' tentacle—sprouted from his chest and rushed downwards, into the very sea of souls. A white noise pervaded his being as the tendril swam through—the call of the souls around him, soft and unintelligible. He ignored it and willed his tendril to keep swimming through the oily sea, towards the other two silhouettes.
Once it reached them, he permitted it to connect to one silhouette.
It was Lena's, and her soul was blank and silent. She must be sleeping, then.
He drew it out and touched the other one.
This one was definitely not silent. The man was worried about his companions and about his objective to 'save' the magical world from James Potter's drastic decision. He was worried about his mission to serve his country. He was a hero in his own mind. Then again, most people were protagonists in their own little worlds. Real life was a collision of these lives and appointing importance and contempt to them.
Harry whispered his command in an even tone. 'Kill yourself.'
He didn't wait to see the result and opened his eyes.
"It's done."
A log cabin shimmered into existence.
His expression was blank as he got up. When his mum took his arm, he allowed her to drag him towards the house.
For the first few minutes, the white noise deafened him from the world, and he felt like his soul had detached from his physical form. It was an out-of-body experience. And then his soul was promptly yanked back when he entered the cabin and saw the man lying in a pool of red, his throat slit open.
He tasted something sour on his tongue, and then his stomach heaved. In his stubborn urge to not show weakness and disgust, he swallowed it back and looked around to distract himself.
The cabin was one giant room—a sparsely furnished one. There were only a couple of chairs around, making the cabin appear empty and desolate.
The other half of the room was separated by bars. Behind which lay a woman with bright ginger hair. She was sprawled on her back, slumbering with nary a worry in her mind.
"Let's go wake the sleeping beauty." His mum placed her hand on his shoulder and led him towards the bars. With the way her one hand was grabbing his and the other was gripping his shoulder, he wondered if she was fearing he would collapse and break down into infinitesimal pieces.
She needn't have worried. He was not a weakling. He was strong.
He blinked when she squeezed the metal lock and broke it open.
… That was new.
"Belphegor gave me magic, and Lucifer took away my limits. Both my magical and physical power will keep on growing," she said, answering his unasked question.
He almost smiled. Almost. His mum was now a superhero. Great, just great. Perhaps he could ask her to roleplay as Wonder Woman.
He shook off his muddy thoughts as the bar slid open, and they stepped into the other half of the room.
"I hope the man didn't carry out any misdeeds in the last hour." She went over to the bed where Lena was passed out.
It was a pessimistic but reasonable fear. The woman before him was no ordinary beauty, after all. And Lena's thin, flowy, white dress didn't leave much to imagination. The straps had slipped down her shoulders, nearly spilling her large, round breasts. And the bottom of her dress was scrunched under her on one side, revealing her plump white thigh and black underwear.
It wasn't out of the question that a lesser man might take advantage here to sate his lust. Thankfully, that didn't happen here.
"You don't need to worry. These people had morals and considered themselves above such misconduct." Harry put her concerns to rest and sat down on the bed, tucking a stray ginger curl behind Lena's ear. "She has been sleeping the whole time. We will need to tell her what happened."
"I am tempted to just dump her back at Potter Manor. It will be funny to see her realise that she has slept through a disaster."
He snorted. That would certainly be a morbidly hilarious prank.
But they ended up shaking her awake and telling her what happened. Her face cycled through many emotions: fear, rage, disbelief, sorrow, and disappointment.
"I am not surprised that James was going to abandon me. I can't even blame him since I knew his history when marrying him." She chuckled mirthlessly, wiping her tear-stained eyes.
Harry squeezed her hand, for the moment forgetting his own sin and focusing on her sorry situation.
She smiled and squeezed his hand back. "I'm glad you were there for Julian and Susan. I dread to think about how they'd have reacted without you. I always knew you were such a sweetheart."
Harry had just murdered a man in cold blood.
He was anything but a sweetheart.
He didn't argue, though.
"I always thought you were a moron for marrying Potter." His mum's amused voice broke him from his glum thoughts. And he agreed with her point. He couldn't understand why Lena—an extraordinarily beautiful and kind woman—would marry such a loser.
Lena didn't take any offence to his mum's barb, her smile shrinking and turning morose. "I know. Everyone loves a noble man. A kind hero who wants to help everyone. But I've come to realise that the heroes are only good from afar. Get too close to them, and you start to see the shadows hiding under the surface."
"What do you want to do now?" He asked.
"I'll apparate home and act as if he didn't sentence me to death. If I didn't have kids, I might have humoured the idea of separating from James. But now all I can do is provide a modicum of a normal family for my children." She sniffed, pushing her legs over the edge.
He helped her slide off the bed, exchanging a worried look with his mum.
"You can still divorce him, you know. I did it."
"Harry was only one year old then, not having enough time to make many memories. Julian has grown up with a father his entire life. I can't take it away from him. It's fine, honestly. I have gotten used to this cold, loveless marriage." Her lips were spread in a reassuring smile, but it was marred by dripping tears.
Harry didn't know what to do.
She stepped close to him and caressed his face, a kind look replacing her hurt expression. "Thank you for taking care of my children. Please keep doing that."
"I will." He promised, pulling her tight against him.
He didn't say anything when tears seeped through his shirt, and he just held onto her.
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