/ Fantasy / Limitless Dream System(old)
摘要
A boy gets killed by a girl after making eye contact with her. After he died, his soul is grabbed and stolen from the cycle of reincarnation by the girl as she brings him to a universe that he never seen before with new and old creatures and turmoil to wait. But all of that does not matter to him as the only thing that matters to right now is.....
"WHY DID YOU KILL ME!"
"~... (giggle)...Silly.. Isn't it obvious...(giggle).. It's because y.o.u c.a.n. S.E.E. M.E. ...."
"....."
"I Hope you take care of me , My Dear.."
"F.U.C.K. Y.O.U, you psychotic BITCH!"
"......Oh My....(sigh)..... to think that how you felt ... to think my dear would be someone like that..."
"Like what?"
"Tsundere."
你也許也喜歡
3.48
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寫檢討This is not that good of a novel, sorry. The characters are one dimensional at best, and completely void of personality at worse. The arcs and chapters feel random, it felt like no planning was taken into this and you just made it on a whim. The reason I didn't completely vote this down was because I appreciate young writers trying to make entertaining novels for free, for everyone to enjoy. And I felt that your writing wasn't completely without talent. I think if you practice more you can become an even better writer. The pros of your writing are: you can make good coherent sentences. The cons of your writing: No planning, no good at describing character personalities, boring world design, and overall not a good plot. Work out these few cons and you can become a better author.
Why 3 Stars? Well the plot is good but the writing and style of each chapter is mediocer at best. It feels Complex to read and Hard to understand the story and background there is too many things happening at the same and at tge same chapter and with the long chapter title it adds to the confusion, if I dont concentrate enough if i will be lost from the story and while you waiting for updates to come while reading similiar plot you lost your track of what is going on from the last time you read the story. In one word "It's a very easy to forget the novel if you read other novels and not focusing only on this one" kind of thing and that how I describe this novel Well some say otherwise though since people is different
The only reason I tried reading this is the synopsis... it made me laugh for 10 minutes straight.... but then i tried it... and its SHIT. The idea/story has so much potential too, it could be turned into something great. But reading this makes me lose brain cells... A LOT OF BRAIN CELLS...
The hair should be dark blue where it is almost look like inky black to other people and when he goes into the sect don't mix the main character that much into inner fighting between disciples or between the sects maybe when ascend into higher planes or realms he can join into sect for protection and have some b.s. and meddle into some sect fights and have some face smacks and please don't put the main character always into fighting extremely stupid difficult opponents and u can add some that kind of stuff but there has strong to fight that kind enemies and keep up the good work bro I enjoy your novel a lot and don't give f4ck about the negative comments u see and take u time to write good chapters bro.
I pick number 2 and I want see them to strenght their relationship and we can also see how the main character make decisions in extreme situations and how he thinks
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact kenreview@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
So I'm not going to say what others have already mentioned(And gave a similar rating). What I am going to write in the review is some advice. You're not limited in space like other authors who writes a story and prints it into real in hand books. So my advice is to use up all the space you want to use and should use, it would make your story more readable and organized. If you didn't really understand what I meant, then what I meant is that too much of your text is crumbed together, it makes me skim read through your story, and most likely it also causes others to skim read. So split your text into more paragraphs. A good example is how paragraphs are being used in translated cn novels or the top 5 original novels. What makes them so excellent is that they feel easy to read.
What’s with this translation. It was still ok at the start, but now it’s unreadable. Please have a good translator cause as of now I am dropping your novel till the quality atleast becomes so what readable.
The author has maybe a 4th or 5th-grade reading level. To be honest, I've never actually seen sentences this bad in school so I can't really be sure. If the poor writing quality isn't bad enough, and trust me, it is. Then we get to start with the actual plot of the story, which, for all intents and purposes, doesn't exist because the author can't write a single sentence that makes a single modicum of sense. What follows after a very shaky first chapter is random background information about world setting and character introductions. Normally that information would be introduced gradually with the story, not with this novel though. Apparently, the author info dumps it all and expects us to read it in order to understand a single fucking thing that happens in the story, which, by the way, doesn't start until three chapters in (because info dump). So yeah. Keep in mind that all of this is inside this 4th-grade reading level sentence structure, so it ends up looking like some strange kind of finger painting artwork made with words. After which we get to experience the actual story, lol. That's literally all I can come up with. When I think about how to describe the actual story I literally only think "lol". Scratch that, I also question all my past choices that have brought me here, to this review box, writing a review for this collection of words and punctuation. I can't bring myself to call this a novel. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe the story changes after the 4th chapter. Maybe it becomes incredibly good all of a sudden. All I know is that I have no intention of finding out.