章節 4: The Happy Man
LONG Fan stared at the woman in front of him for a long time, then he finally looked away and said his first words since the beginning of the interview:
– So?
– So what?
– Well... This morning's feat! Everyone talks about it, and you, don't you have anything to say about it? he exclaimed.
Strangely, Fan's voice had changed in pitch when he finished his sentence; she seemed almost vicious. Charles noticed this change very quickly and observed the silence for a moment before answering:
– And what do you want to know that you don't already know?
– Oh! Well to start.... the time you took to bid on the situation, that for example!
Charles forced himself to keep his cool but snapped:
– What are you playing here?
– I return the question to you Charles, what are you playing at?!
– Fan I...
– No..., exclaimed Fan, banging his fist on the desk, you're kidding me Charles, aren't you?
– No... I would never do that and I don't know what could have made you believe that. she answered tit for tat.
He watched her for a moment, as if he wanted to detect the slightest trace of mockery, then a sneer came from the tip of his lips:
– So, you didn't do anything to prove me wrong, huh?
"No..." she replied, shaking her head.
– So what did you think?... cut Fan quite dryly, that I'll never see how you lost your means like a beginner in front of an exercise that you've already practiced so many times, right?! Answer me!
– No it is wrong! I just took some time to analyze the situation and...
– And what ? During this time, the patient had to wait for the expert to finish her analysis?
Charles did not retort this time. She held his gaze for a moment and then ended up leaning back against her seat. Fan did the same, but he didn't lose his temper. He resumed, annoyed:
– Whore ! I feel like I made a mistake returning the service to you so quickly... And if it's going to cost me lives, then...
– You're firing me... is that it?!
– No... ! Finally...
– So why are you bothering me with your speech?
– Charles you need a break, I know you don't want to admit it...but...
– You want me to admit a lie?
– Call it what you want... but it's the truth Charles... You need a break.
He took out of a drawer of his desk a card which could read on the header that it was a leave card. A "forced" leave for the young woman.
But Charles didn't flinch, she didn't take the outstretched hand.
She sat up and asked distraught:
"And how am I supposed to prove it to you?"
– Prove what?
– Bah,.... that I have my place in this fucking service where I have already provided for seven years of my shitty life!
She had raised her voice.
– Charles you...
– Answer me !
His tone grew more virulent.
– Charles..., calm down please. Trying hard will only cause more problems for you, and not just for you, but for the whole clinic, you understand?
– No..., she replied shaking her head, no I don't understand Fan. I... What do you want me to do? I only have my job and you know it!
– Richard...
– Fan..., I can't allow myself to stop working... she let go almost on the verge of tears.
But she recovered quickly.
A silence fell in the office. The young doctor rose silently then opened a drawer and took out some paperwork. He slammed the file down on the desk and said, pointing to it:
– Take care of that.
– Who is it ?
– Song Jinwook.
Charles' heart skipped a beat...
~ In the skin of Charles ~
In truth, what is feeling good?
Is it to be happy? Laugh for no apparent reason? Swimming in absolute bliss? Or, live easily by never lacking anything?
Or rather, as inspired by the most poets, to live "blind love"?
Me, I experimented with all these hypotheses, but none of them were founded and even less true.
In my opinion, the Man who feels good, does not exist!
I think that man is eternally dissatisfied and that he ends up deluding himself of a world he does not live: that of infinite happiness. He lives in total denial of his reality.
And it is true that for a moment of my life, I lived in this imaginary world. But the death of my parents opened a door that had long been closed to me.
When you are forced to find yourself alone in the world, life is no longer all rosy...
We realize that friendship becomes the main engine of his life and that love is just a simple heart drawn on the beach, and that once the wave has passed, love evaporates as it appeared...
So I protect myself...
But this feeling, I will never share it because, despite my efforts, since the night of that year, I felt like I had lost everything I had most precious.
So the best way I found to avenge myself in this world that had taken everything from me, was to show him that nothing affected me anymore.
And yet it was so wrong...
I had to take revenge for everything that had made me suffer so much... I quickly distanced myself from those people I used to call my family.
As soon as my back was turned, as soon as I had the weakness of mind to bend my back thinking that they would support me in this difficult period, they had not hesitated for a single second to stab me and to turn the knife in the already so deep wound.
I still have pain...
From this painful experience, I learned that I should never let my guard down again and that you should never show your weaknesses to others, whoever they are.
Never !
That's how I started to smile at everything while deep inside me, I was suffocating...
This same smile, which we see sporting these battered women, these abused children or these souls who are dying in silence...
And all I wanted was to heal any open wounds as quickly as possible before someone else used them against me...
So...
– Take care of this file.
– Who is it... ?
– Song Jinwook.
When he gave his condition, I had the impression of suffocating; I felt bad inside.
But if I didn't want to prove him right, I had to accept.
– You take care of that..., stated Fan, And no more crappy ideas like visits to a shrink, no more breaks! You stay on your ward and I'll take care of my business, okay?
I had to do it.
– Okay. But if you don't keep your promise...
– I promise you.
– In this case..., I too will keep my promise. I said holding out my hand to him.
He smiled and squeezed my outstretched hand.
This is how now I had to live my reality.
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Gemini_OMEGA
Gemini_OMEGA Have some idea about my story? Comment it and let me know. Thank you for readind me darling !☺️
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