章節 4: Chapter Four.
I search my backpack until I find the keys and let myself into the house.
"Hello?" I call out, pushing open the door and stepping inside. "Dad? Are you here?"
No answer.
He usually leaves for work early in the morning before Jedd and I wake up and doesn't return until late at night. I don't see much of him and Jedd is more of a parent to me which isn't Dad's fault. I've always been grateful for both of them but I do wish I could see Dad more often.
I sigh and drop my backpack in the hallway before heading straight for the kitchen. Whenever I'm home alone, the house instantly becomes eerie. . . Like I'm starring in a horror movie. I pull open the fridge, glancing inside at the contents —
Milk, cheese, a few takeaway boxes from last night and one single strawberry yoghurt. Fabulous.
I let out a low groan, hearing my stomach rumble from the lack of food I've consumed today. I don't ever eat lunch at school, the cafeteria is too intimidating for me. Walking inside a room crammed with students chattering and socialising is my idea of a nightmare. Instead I'd throw a sandwich or an apple inside my bag and eat it outside in the comfort of my own company.
My eyes scan the kitchen and land on a note stuck to the front of the fridge. Sprawled across it messily is my Dad's handwriting —
Casserole in the oven, see you both tonight. Dad x
"Yes!" I cheer, doing a little happy dance that resembles a penguin. I plate up some casserole along with a drink and some carrot sticks before heading upstairs. My room is my safe haven and I can spend the rest of my life locked up in here as long as I have food.
It's time to launch Netflix and find myself another legendary romance movie.
*****
There's a soft knock on my bedroom door and I pause the movie, sniffling a little —
"Come in!" I yell, my voice wobbling slightly. The door opens and Jedd appears, looking alarmed at my tear stricken face.
"You've been watching soppy movies again, haven't you?" Jedd says, shaking his head. I don't miss his lips turning up into an amused smile.
"Yep." I reply, shutting my laptop screen and sitting up on my bed. I grab a cushion and hold it close to me.
"The girl in the movie finds her true love on holiday but it turns out he's a cancer victim and doesn't have long to live. They both go on this epic journey to do awesome things together before he dies. . . I'm almost at the end. It's so sad, isn't it?" I sniffle once again, wiping away a tear from my cheek.
"Cliché more like," Jedd scoffs, taking a seat at the end of my bed. I watch him out of curiosity, wondering what he's doing here. He crosses his legs and looks at me with an intense stare that makes me squirm.
"What is this . . . a one man intervention?" I joke half heartedly.
"I think we should talk." Jedd responds slowly, choosing his words carefully. Talk?
"Talk about what?" I frown, fiddling with the string coming undone on my fuzzy pyjama socks.
"How did school go?"
He sounds awkward and his eyes drift to the floor to avoid holding eye contact with me. I practically see the pity ooze from him and I wince. My thoughts turn towards Beatrice and how her gang bullied and embarrassed me.
"School was fine."
I climb off my bed, heading to the other side of my room so Jedd can't see any expression on my face. I've never told him how difficult school is for me, admitting to your sibling that you're struggling isn't exactly easy to do. Jedd has always been popular, surrounded by constant friends. He wouldn't understand how it feels to be like me, a loner.
I hear him sigh heavily from behind me and I close my eyes for a moment, trying to mask over the hurt in my features.
"Bells, I care about you. I know you're struggling in school." Jedd says softly. I turn around, feeling myself grow defensive.
"I'm not struggling."
"You come home from school unhappy every single day Bella. You rarely leave the house and you never have friends over. It's unhealthy." Jedd says, his tone becoming desperate.
I stare at him, my chest rising and falling heavily. I feel the back of my throat tighten up but my eyes remained glued to his. He looks back at me with the same intensity, brown eyes masked over with concern. I watch as his hand reaches up, combing through the strands of his dirty blonde hair.
"I care Bella, that's all."
"I'm fine," I whisper, my voice husky with emotion. It takes every ounce of willpower I have not to break down crying in front of Jedd right now. I don't know why I can't do it, admit how lonely I am to him. Maybe I know that if I say the words out loud, they become a reality and I don't want to face that.
"Can you leave my room please?" I whisper, watching sadly as he pauses for a moment before standing up. He walks over to me and hesitates before rethinking his actions and heading for the door.
I wait until I hear the soft click behind him before I let out the first cries of many.
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