章節 335: Sharing an old guilt
The bartender kept glancing at the two ladies on the counter seats. He saw them enter with an awkward silence to now, causing an uproar, laughing till they shed happy tears. The two also kept ordering drinks- one was careful with her third refill, but the other had lost its count already while the bartender kept tabs on the number of beer bottles getting cleared.
To his startle, the one drinking beer bursts into another loud laughter.
"I'm sorry! It's hilarious!" Ivy erupted to another great laughter, entertaining herself from hearing the behind the scene narratives of Bridgette.
After walking down the road of old memories and lived through the stages of nostalgia, the two decided to share the month's worth of stories. It was Bridgette's turn first, and she spilled a few funny stories from her shows. One, in particular, is when she was performing, a fellow actor had farted accidentally. It was audible enough to her ears, and Bridgette couldn't help but continue singing despite the distracting odor. Ivy couldn't help but let herself loose from the drinks, and she laughed like it was the funniest joke in the world. Meanwhile, despite getting embarrassed from a few tales, Bridgette could no longer resist and eventually joined for a chuckle. All the blunders may seem severe at the moment of experience, but after a while, it behooves a great comedy relief to share a smile with your friends.
Bridgette also bragged about Laura's praise after watching her play and how she took her out for a nice dinner. Ivy already knew Laura's relationship with Bridgette. She even had an opportunity to meet her once backstage, where Ivy explicitly expressed her sincere admiration for the actor. Now listening to her best friend gloat about spending quality time with the Laura Stritch, Ivy screamed jealousy.
When it came to Ivy's turn to share, Bridgette anticipated enthusiastically as movie sets are often adventurous with bloopers, behind the scene stunts, and hilarious stories. However, to her surprise, Ivy's drunken state let her mouth slip, and words escaped on its own.
Bridgette heard the name 'Lucy' repeatedly over and over again. From listening, she could tell that this person means something to Ivy. It started with Ivy's stubbornness in picking an actual model to play the main character and progressed to the number of times Ivy helped this model act confidently. The addition of generous details on Lucy's beauty and her silly faces when she makes mistakes made Bridgette suspect her friend. She watched Ivy mistakenly slip out these feelings, as from the looks of it, Ivy is not in her usual mindfulness, rigid and careful with her words. The alcohol set her heart free from fear. No matter what story she shared with Bridgette, it always somehow connects to that young model. It was clear to anyone who overheard Ivy's exaggerations, and Bridgette spoke nothing until her friend finishes her talk. She was waiting for a chance to pry sooner to know more juicy parts.
The story ended soon with Ivy expressing her faith in Lucy, believing that she would perform great of her role and make this story victorious.
"This feels very therapeutic!" Ivy said after feeling relieved from speaking to a dear friend.
Bridgette paused to glance at Ivy's calm disposition.
"I meant being friends again!" Ivy admits.
"It sure is!" Bridgette accepts to add more, "Of course! You know what, Ivy? You made me realize how much of our friendship means to me. How much I need to cherish your existence because without a good friend by my side, I couldn't feel alive."
Bridgette's warm words abridged the gap between the two and mended their bond to return its old self.
Both women sip their drinks to savor the moment. It was worth sharing these stories with your close friend, especially for Ivy, as she had kept burying her thoughts on Lucy to herself, only to vomit it to a trusted friend with the help of hard liquor.
Little did Ivy know that the person she shared her newly found interest was none other than the person whom she thought to have held affection for a long time.
Ivy's serenity extended, putting her to delightful mood. For all the sweat she shed to defy against the fears to make this call, it was worth it and the right choice. She jotted in her mind to thank Parker for inciting this event. Meantime, Bridgette finished her drink. When the bartender noticed it to request another refill, she declined politely. She knew that it was this moment she should step in with several questions. It was a perfect time to secure some secrets if Ivy has any in regards to this girl, Lucy.
Bridgette called to Ivy's delicate attention.
"Lucy seems like an interesting girl!"
"I- Is that so?" Ivy stutters to an unexpected startle.
"Yes! She gets her director's special attention!"
Ivy did not know how to respond and thus kept quiet to herself. Besides, the anxiety started kicking in, leaving her totally flabbergasted.
"It appears that someone finally got over her old feelings!" Bridgette remarked from Ivy's appearance.
"What?" Ivy's head ached to hear those words coming from Bridgette.
"What?" Bridgette played along, only to find Ivy acting dumb. Her face positively reassures that she moved on, not with an old glow, but a newfound fire. However, Bridgette witnessed that Ivy hasn't realized those feelings yet. Sighing from her friend's hopelessness in regards to love, she thought whether to enlighten the lost child or not.
'Screw it!' Bridgette hissed to make a ruling, and she chose to confront.
"Ivy?"
"I think you like Lucy!"
Bridgette came out sharp and spoke directly.
Stunned with speechless, Ivy enraged to a fit, "What nonsense are you saying?"
"It's none nonsense! You keep talking about her as if she is the only person in this movie! You clearly like this girl!"
"Well- that's because she is an actor in my movie. Of course, I will talk about her."
"If at all anything, I was desperately trying to overcome my feeling for you. That's why we haven't spoken to each other for a month," Ivy denied sternly.
"And you did it-" Bridgette whispers against Ivy's argument, which annoyed Ivy, and she began to glare intensely.
"Why are you bringing Lucy all of a sudden?" she asked, "Is it because I'm gay that you feel I would get attracted by any other girl?"
"Woah- Woah- stop right there! No rash speculation. I only said you might be attracted to this girl since you seem happy talking about her. Please don't make me look like the bad guy!"
Ivy repressed the breaking rage, yet the unstable mind didn't bother to consider before responding brutally.
"You did bully a girl in high school!" Ivy said it without giving it a thought.
She saw Bridgette's face switch to horror from the recall as she lowered her gaze, ashamed from an unforgivable sin. Realizing the boundary crossed again, cutting a restored peace, Ivy apologized, knowing how depressed Bridgette feels right now.
"I'm sorry!"
"Bridgette!" she begged to appeal but saw Bridgette ignore her plea.
"No, it's alright! I'm sorry for randomly making assumptions."
"So- how are your friends- Parker, Bethany, and David- is everyone having fun?" Bridgette quickly changed the topic to hide the hurt. However, Ivy knew it's all an act.
"Bridgette, I'm sorry," she pleaded again.
"It's okay! It's the truth, right!"
Ivy couldn't deny.
"Well, It's not entirely your fault as I have had my share of bullying as well."
Her unintended words that caused the damage once again found it's way back to heal as both sighed in regret.
"We did a bad thing to her, Bridgette. I wonder how is she doing now?"
"The last thing we heard about Giselle is that she left the country," Bridgette said.
Both regretted, feeling it may because of their taunts that Giselle left the country, which wasn't the truth. Giselle departed for Lillian and not them. Nonetheless, the two had carried the concern for years to regret.
"You know what? When I knew that I could be gay, the first thing that came to my mind was Giselle. As I lived without telling anyone, I wondered if this is how Giselle felt- painful to carry such a secret in your life and not be yourself- because of this society's standards-" Ivy admits to her bitterness.
Not only, Ivy, but such similar thoughts also came to Bridgette as well ever since she heard her best friend's secret. Often Bridgette would remember Giselle to a piercing sting as she thought how the event must have left a scar in such kind soul.
Bridgette heard Ivy express and agreed that she too would sometimes think of Giselle.
"Oh, did you hear about-" Ivy added with a new interest to find Bridgette conclude it for her.
"About Lillian Grey, right? I heard the news about her recently-"
"It did not shock me to hear that she's a famous writer!" Ivy chuckled to exclaim.
Bridgette agreed as everyone in their class knew Lillian loved books like a nerd. It came out as no big news to their classmates when they heard Lillian's identity. Hence, the two ignored to discuss further on the subject, only to return to Giselle.
"I wish I could apologize to her now," Bridgette admits, hearing herself sound contrary to that of her past self, who would disregard other's feelings to her botherless attitude.
"Me too," Ivy concurred.
They seem to agree again, and a smile emerged as a truce.
"I'm sorry. I just said it because I saw you look happy- that's all-"
Ivy stared blankly at Bridgette's face. She slightly understands what her friend tried to convey, but somehow in her heart, she refused to admit it. All of these bases are assumptions, which could be false. Hence, Ivy kept herself refrained from growing any hope for Lucy. She's thankful that Lucy agreed to work hard in her job, and having these unnecessary intentions may plummet her performance. Such a thought frightened Ivy, and she kept herself at bay from getting distracted. Sending signals to the bartender for another drink, Ivy watched, only to get stopped by Bridgette's interruption.
"That's enough for today. It's getting late," Bridgette says to call off the night.
"Already?"
"I have work tomorrow."
"Fine!"
The ladies thanked the bartender, who returned the gestured gladly. Coming out, Ivy stretched her sore body in exhaustion, relaxing as if a weight lifted off of her chest. She noticed Bridgette joining by her side as they entered the streets.
"So- we're cool now," Ivy asked to her wavering gaze, desperately avoiding to look sideways.
"Hmm... let me think-"
She panicked to Bridgette's tease and looked at her apologetically when Bridgette stopped.
"I was waiting for you, idiot. So you tell me- if you're fine with us being friends together," she asked, "Or we can set some distance if it bothers you."
"No- no distance," Ivy interrupted almost immediately.
"I agree!"
The two stood facing each other, again in heavy silence, worried if a friendly hug could trouble the other. Ivy took the initiative to gesture her approach to a gentle squeeze, and Bridgette let her in as the two shared a warm hug to rejoice their reunion.
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