章節 192: Melancholy
She was moving like a sloth. With such a slow pace, one can say that the girl is at her limits and can faint at any moment.
Giselle looked deadly frail, even in the eyes of the strangers. They all watched as they walked passed her, also turning back to check if the girl is still alright or not.
With every step, she felt broken down, and every time she walked, her mind kept replaying the moment where Diego asks Lillian Grey out to the school prom.
***
Giselle felt like her heart might explode from the wait.
When Diego said those words that no one expected, Giselle was nearby with him. They both previously watched Anna and Lillian teasing each other nonstop.
All went smooth until Giselle heard Diego speak out.
She watched him up close when he asked out Lillian. It was the first time Giselle saw Diego make such a face. For a split second, Giselle could read through Diego's mind.
It was at that moment, Giselle felt invisible. All those unlocked feelings she secretly let loose for the past few days, soaking into the closeness she felt with Lillian Grey- all those emotions turned into ashes in an instant.
She heard Diego confront Anna with his reasoning; his face held a natural look.
Anyone can feel justified from his rationally thought out word choices. Giselle would get convinced by him if not for a fraction of genuine feeling that he exposed at the beginning of his daring effort to ask out his best friend to the prom.
Nonetheless, Giselle waited for Lillian's reply.
In her mind, she knew that there is no chance of Lillian to reject this invite; she knows it, but still, her heart desired otherwise. Giselle wished greedily for Lillian to decline Diego.
For what?
It isn't like Giselle had initial plans to go to the prom. Frankly, she was debating to herself whether to attend the event or not; she already knew the answer that no one is going to ask her out.
Still, she hoped Lillian to refuse Diego. Call it selfish, but Giselle was not able to let go of Lillian Grey to anyone.
The recent events where they spent time together bought more closeness between the two. Also, Giselle's love for Lillian Grey bloomed itself into a beautiful flower that she protected at all costs.
Only this time, she didn't want to expose and ruin the already existing bond. So, holding in her selfish desire. Giselle waited for Lillian's reply.
…
Who knew that waiting could be this haunting physically and mentally?
Giselle saw the trio still in a hush, the main protagonist, Lillian Grey also remained motionless. Giselle dared not to face anyone directly, and hence she lowered her vision and kept taking a glimpse infrequently.
She saw Anna getting freaked out, Diego's desperate anticipation, and finally Lillian Grey-
Lillian appeared to be hesitant and suffering alone.
'Please, Lillian, please!' – Giselle prayed within herself.
Every second of the wait felt like torture.
As time goes by, seconds turned minutes and fast-forward, several minutes passed already.
Lillian Grey hasn't moved an inch.
Giselle looked up for a nick of a second and saw Lillian's face eased out a little from earlier.
'No.'
Giselle felt her heart quaking.
When Lillian Grey replied positively to Diego's request, Giselle's world collapsed. Suddenly everything went mute, and a sense of frustration dominated Giselle; she felt weak at her heart.
She didn't like it.
She is not jealous of Diego and Lillian Grey going to together. Even if it is not Diego and someone else, it could be anyone, and Giselle would still feel displeasure.
If it is in the past, after getting rejected, Giselle would be able to get through this kind of situation. But now, with the way she feels for Lillian Grey, it hurt Giselle deeply.
Not exposing her sadness, she chose to remain quiet for the rest of the time.
…
Walking back home together, it started feeling awkward with only the two alone.
Giselle stayed silent and only occasionally responded when Lillian chatted about the exam. She knew that all of her responses are sharp and cut-through; it made Lillian lose the idea of conversing.
At that junction, both stood idle without talking. Unable to control the overpowering discontent, Giselle spoke first. So far, in the past, Giselle never initiated the goodbye; it has been Lillian Grey always.
The first time they both walked home together after school, Giselle hesitated a lot at the junction point where they had to depart.
Seeing her stall the time, Lillian couldn't help but chuckle from the girl's cute little resistance. Not wanting to give her the burden, Lillian chose to be the one who says goodbye first. Following her, Giselle would agree, and the two would depart. Eventually, they would turn back to see each other until their silhouettes fade out.
That has been the case until now. Giselle, for the first time, said her farewell, and without waiting for a response, she walked out of the scene.
It was not her intention to be rude, but Giselle was only hurt and felt utterly defeated in love. She felt as if once again, it became an unrequited love for her. Feeling disappointed, Giselle wished to part ways as soon as possible hence, causing her to take the first step for once. She noticed Lillian's lips moved to talk, but Giselle wasn't in the state of conversing.
She said goodbye and left the place without looking back.
***
Now, walking back home alone, Giselle felt cold all over her. It made her numb and lifeless. Approaching her home, she stopped.
Halting her steps, she tried to clear her dry throat along with her withered thoughts. She wiped off her face with a tissue and then entered her house.
Giselle was on alert; she did not want to meet anyone right now, including her family. If she sees them, then she won't be able to control or hide her worries.
Giselle feared that she might break down.
Fastening her steps and passing the living room, she reached the stairs, and it is then, she heard her mother's voice beckoning her from behind.
Giselle's teary eyes are almost on the verge of breaking down into a stream, yet she forced back them and responded to her mother politely.
Melanie saw the shriveled upfront Giselle postured. Right away, the mother was able to figure out that something grave happened at school for his daughter to try so hard in hiding her real emotions.
"Are you okay, dear?" Melanie asked gently, giving off welcoming bait to lure in her daughter to talk about anything.
Not in her state at that time, Giselle refused and turned to run upstairs to her room.
Forcing the door open and stepping inside, Giselle shut the door so hard that even Melanie could hear the impact of it downstairs.
The mother worried about Giselle.
…
Throwing her bag on the floor, Giselle squatted down to her heels, enclosing knees to her chest with both hands wrapped around, she tightened her grip harder. She looked like a tiny bean in that form; small and timid.
Rocking back and forth, Giselle tried so hard not to let down those tears. However, when her mind replayed the recent past, Giselle couldn't control anymore.
Like a child that lost its favorite toy, she cried. There was no sound or sniffs, but only streaming down non-stop tears.
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