章節 35: Chapter Thirty Five
"Awakened Human? I like the sound of that. But we'll see if I can't come up with a better one!" You remark as you turn off your transformation and suddenly feel your body being exhausted. "WHOAH!"
"Hmmm... It appears this power-up is very taxing on your body." Vados observes.
"Understandable since it seems to affect your cognitive functions as well."
"Yeah... I feel like I'm having a bad hangover..."
"I suggest until you get a better grasp on it to only rely on this form when necessary.
Otherwise you could overtax your body very easily."
"Noted..." You take a few deep breaths and try to recover a bit. Though you still feel a slight pressure on your brain the lessened strain seems to have a beneficial effect on the rest of your body.
"By the way... You've been away for a while.
Aaaand... you might want to catch up with the others."
"That's alright. I was planning on doing that anyway."
The question is... who do you want to start with?
It's been a while since you met any of the friends you've made here on Champas planet.
But out of all of them it's probably the kids that deserve/need your presence. So in accordance to that you made your way over to where they are.
You find them inside your shared room with Oren sitting in a corner and listening to music while Kamin seems to be humming to herself as she's looking out the window. It's she that realizes your presence first and she quickly throws a pillow at her brother. "Hey!"
"Look!" His sister points at you.
"Hey kids!"
"ERIC!" They shout at once and rush to you.
"You're back! And you got stronger!"
Oren observes. "Did you manage to beat up the bad guy?"
"Did you bring us something?"
"Yes aaaand no." You shrug. "I kinda forgot and what I got from Hell is weeell... not suitable for you. But rest assured we'll go and do some shopping together."
"Promise?"
"Promise!"
They smile for a brief moment before Oren pokes Kamin in the side. "Oh yeah... I forgot about it..."
"Hmmm? What's wrong?"
"We uh... got a call."
"A call you say? From whom?" You raise an eyebrow at that.
"Planet Plant."
And now you're pissed off again. "You know you don't have to listen to them if you don't want to."
"We do but..."
"It wasn't an order they sent us. It was a request. They asked us to return home."
"... What?"
"We... didn't get much more than that.
We got scared and cut the call after that. Since then they... didn't call back."
"What should we do Eric?"
"Hmmm... You say they asked you?
How strange..."
"Uh-huh. And well... we don't know how to handle it."
"I'd say it's worth investigating at the very least-" But before you could continue you hear a loud yell coming from downstairs.
"ERIC! COME HERE AT ONCE!" It's Champa.
"Oh shit! Erm... Tell you what: You can check it out if you want to, I gotta go!"
"Wait what about-"
"We'll go shopping once it's not so chaotic! Don't worry!"
Rushing down the stairs towards your masters voice you arrive in the dining room where Champa and Vados are both waiting for you. Panting you stop and raise your hand, asking for a moment of respite. "Sorry! I was a bit busy! What's the emergency?"
Champa turns to your teacher and gives her an order. "Vados. Get the thing!" With a silent nod she extends her staff and as it glows an object pops out of it and falls into her hands.
As she hands the small bundle over, you see that it's a set of black robes complete with a hood and even gloves. "Put those on!"
You stare at Champa in utter confusion.
"Why?"
"My brother just called! He's coming as we speak! You'll stand by my side and introduce the dishes you've prepared! You only speak when spoken to and NO funny business!
UNDERSTAND?!"
You look down on the clothes then back up at him. "And why do you need me for this exactly?"
"Because you idiot! You're the one who knows what these dishes are! Aaaand I need a taste tester besides Vados."
"You got it boss!" Putting the large robes you manage to perfectly cover up your body.
Standing with arms wide spread you ask Champa if he's satisfied. "How do I look?"
"Perfect!" He sits down in his chair and motions for Vados to take his side and for you to take the other. "Now come over here and remember! No talking!" Nodding you silently wait... and wait... and wait until even Champa seems to have lost his patience. "Grrrrr! He's doing this on purpose!"
"Probably." Vados confirms his suspicion.
But as you're about to give up you see two figures walking through the door and a quite familiar sensation overcomes you.
A blue man escorting a very thin, almost emaciated looking cat-man. No doubt the brothers of both Vados and Champa respectably. Their presence is exactly the same as Champas, i.e. terrifying. Though you have to admit it IS a bit funny that the overweight Champa has an anorexic brother.
The palpable tension does not seem to escape Champas notice who stiffens in his seat and looks...worried? That's a first.
"What do you want Beerus?" He asks.
"It's a pleasure to see you again little brother!"
"Likewise sister!" Vados and her brother quickly exchange greetings while the actual gods are bickering.
"Aw come now Champa!" His brother responds in a playful manner and the tension coming from him evaporates. "I thought it's time for our annual Battle!"
"That's rich coming from You of all people!
Usually I have to cross Universes to challenge you because YOU are always busy sleeping!"
"Eh... I had nothing better to do so I came."
"Yeah right!" Champa growls. "More like you want to compete because you know you'll win!"
Beerus grins in a threatening manner.
"Maybe. Does that mean you concede?"
"NEVER!"
"Then there is no reason to complain!"
He then looks over the room and spots you.
"Hmmmm? Who's that?"
"None of your damn business! Just so you know I was dealing with him when you so rudely showed up without announcement!
Unlike you I actually take my job seriously and work hard instead of lazing around!"
Vados and her brother both let out a little chuckle while Beerus responds. "Yeah right! More like busy stuffing your mouth fatso!
So... are we doing this or what?"
Champa drops his shoulders and sighs.
"Yeah yeah... let's get it over with."
Something... definitely seems off about this whole thing. One, Champa doesn't look like he's about to fight someone nor is his brother.
And two, he never mentioned fighting his brother or being worried about doing so yet here he is, practically sweating bullets.
"Whis! Bring it out!" Oh so the angel is called Whis. Good to know.
"Yes my lord!" Waving his staff the angel conjures a... shopping bag?
From it he takes out several... instant ramen cups... You almost forget about your place and speak up but then you feel a little tug on your robe coming from Champa of all people.
He looks down at the dehydrated noodle soup with an expression of pure horror. "This is... not the same!"
"Indeed! For you see brother this is a special, Limited Time only Holiday Ramen! It is incomparable to the one you've had before!"
Beerus gloats with a smug grin. "What's wrong brother? You look pale... and slim! Awww don't tell me you've been looking forward to this! Heh. Well... it's not like I didn't come to completely destroy you but still! There is no fun in it if you don't resist."
"J-Just shut up and bring out the water!
I want this thing over with!"
"Whis!"
"As you wish my lord."
As he was told the angel poured hot water from a heater into each cup and prepared the chopsticks while you waited for the noodles to cook. Much like instant ramen on your planet it was done in a matter of minutes.
"Right then! Please enjoy!" Whis speaks up and gently pushes the cups forward.
Champa immediately opens it up and with a defeated sigh he slowly takes a sip from it.
Meanwhile Whis looks at Vados curiously.
"What's wrong sister? Aren't you hungry?"
"Sadly I just ate. So thank you but no!"
You KNOW that's a lie.
But as this discussion transpires Beerus eagerly watches for Champas explosive reaction... which does not happen. Instead after the first bite Champa calmly puts down the chopsticks and gently pushes the cup away from him. "It's alright."
Silence falls on the room. A strange, deadly and unbearable silence which urges the soul of all individuals to break it. Beerus then reacts how he expected his brother to as his eyes bulge outward. "HUUUUUUUUUUH?!"
Even his attendant, Whis seems to be surprised by this. He quickly blinks several times in succession which is much, MUCH more than anything you've ever seen out of an angel before.
"Eh. It's not bad." Champa then picks up the cup that Vados left there and raises it to you.
"What about you? This is a rare treat, food from another universe. Care to sample it?"
Knowing, or at least suspecting, what that thing is you don't really want to but you get the impression that you don't actually have a say in the matter. So awkwardly you take it and using the provided utensils you take the tiniest amount of noodles into your mouth and sip some juice to it. It's... not bad per se but it's still just junk food. A bunch of preservatives, flavor enhancers and whatever else fell into it on the production line.
You look up from the soup and see not one but two destroyers eagerly awaiting your reaction to it.
You stop eating and give an honest shrug.
"It's just junk food... nothing special."
Champas brother seems to be furious by your answer as you see him grabbing his own ears and kneading them like dough in his frustration. As this is happening you see a faint little smirk appearing on Champas face for the briefest moment before it goes back to being stoic. "Okay... let's get this over with.
Vados, if you would."
"Yes sir!" She then conjures up... oh no.
A very familiar looking stasis unit floats in front of you which opens up, revealing the three course meal you designed specifically for Champa and poured your heart and soul into it. The two sets of three plates float out and land in front of the two guests and Champa finally drops the act.
"Bon appetit!" He smirks.
The pair look puzzled by this development however. "What's this?"
"A three course meal I had prepared for just this occasion! Dig... in!"
Beerus swallows nervously as he lifts the lid of the first platter and looks at the appetizer mildly disgusted. "What is this? Vegetables? What do you think I am some rabbit?
Where's the meat?"
"It's just the hors d'oeuvre. Just try it."
Annoyed the other god lifts up some tomato slices along with the cheese and takes a bite out of them. Almost immediately his eyes snap open and he uncontrollably shoves the entire rest of what he had in his hands.
Like a starving animal he devours the entire plate in a wild frenzy as Champa simply looses it.
"MUHAHAHHAHAHHA! I knew it! I knew you'd come to me after the tournament to rub it all in! So... I went looking! I scoured the entire universe for the finest chef I could find!"
He then rather harshly slaps your back and you hit the table with your hands. "And so I did!"
"S-Should I remove the-" You mutter.
"No you idiot! Not yet!" Champa whispers.
Neither Beerus nor Whis can help themselves as they dive straight into the main course and manage to eradicate it in two minutes. As they uncontrollably reach for the dessert Champa grins.
"Checkmate!"
Moaning in delight the two deities keep chanting how delicious it all is before they lift the lid off of the last course and Beerus manages to snap out of his hunger fueled trance. "L-Look Whis! It's... It's... PUUUUUUDDDIIIIING!"
"Not just any pudding!" Champa adds.
"It's a special, one of a kind pudding that never stops jiggling! The Ceaseless Pudding!
Make sure you mush it or it'll keep shaking in your belly!"
Like the gluttonous demons that they are Beerus and Whis make the dessert disappear and afterwards tap their bellies in satisfaction. However with all the food gone and the fog over their brains lifting they realize what just happened. "O-Oh my... that was wild. But I can't recall ever tasting something so... divine! It was positively brimming with flavor and energy! Wouldn't you say Lord Beerus?" Whis observes while Beerus growls in anger.
"What sort of sorcery is this?" He asks.
"My new court chefs brilliance!"
Champa gloats. "So judging by your expression I win this one hands down!"
Beerus looks like he wants to make a snide remark but... can't. He physically can't bring himself to compare the instant ramen to your cooking. "Tch..."
"HAHAHAHHAHHAHA! That means we're even! DOESN'T IT BROTHER?!"
Beerus looks up in annoyance and averts his gaze from his brother. "You..." He asks.
"Who or... more importantly WHAT are you?"
You slowly pull back your hood, revealing your facial features to the two deities before you.
Flattening the few strands of hair that now stand up due to the hood you speak up.
"I'm just a chef. Lord Champas chef."
They stare at you in utter silence. "What?"
"BWAAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH!"
Champa erupts once again. "What's wrong Beerus?!"
"I... can't believe this. I wished your planet back for this?!"
That gets your attention. "What did he just say?" You ask Champa.
"O-Ooooh...Erm... VADOS!" He turns to his assistant who begins to whistle.
You lean in close to Champa and glare daggers at him. "What. Did he. SAY!"
*gulp* "Well erm-"
This time Beerus also steps in. "Oy... Champa.
What did you do?" Seeing his brother not responding and getting nervous enlightens Beerus to the truth. "Jeez. Hey Earthling-"
"Huh?"
"What did my idiot brother tell you? That he wished your planet back?" You give him an awkward nod. "Well he lied to you. I was the one that wished your planet back."
"W-Why did you do that?"
"Because." He shuts his eyes. "My dumbass brother gathered the Super Dragon Balls for... whatever reason. But when we had a contest and I won with my instant ramen he wanted to use the balls to switch our two Earths. We had a contest to see who gets the Dragon Balls and I won... I sacrificed my wish to get him off my back... and wished back your planet and its entire population. You're welcome."
"Lord Beerus-"
"Hush Whis! Champa made this mess for himself! I don't care what happens to him now that it's exposed!"
You turn over to your lord and employer who sits in his chair nervously pushing his two index fingers together. "Hee hee..."
"Why?" You ask him.
"W-Well..."
"He wouldn't admit it was his brothers accomplishment."
"VADOS!" The angel then looks away and starts whistling innocently once more.
Staring Champa down you have a hard time coming to terms with how you feel about this.
You look over to Beerus and give him a little bow. "Thank you Lord Beerus. My world needed a second chance and you gave it to us. In the name of all humans, I thank you from the bottom of my heart." Returning your gaze to Champa you scowl a bit.
"H-Huh?!"
Shaking your head a little you speak up.
"I thought you were better than this Champa. You know I respected you a lot. And I still do... But I can't comprehend why you'd do something like this?"
"It's simple-" Vados speaks up. "The sibling rivalry between Lord Champa and Lord Beerus is too strong for either to acknowledge the achievement of the other, regardless how impressed they are by them."
"It's true." Whis confirms her.
"Sibling rivalry huh?" You let out a little smile.
"But in the end none of this actually matters.
You took me in, gave me a new purpose... even if you did so by threatening my planet if I refused... If it weren't for you I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have met my friends... So in the end I still owe you a lot. Thank you as well!"
"Phew..."
"You're lucky Eric is so forgiving-"
"So what? If he gives me trouble I'll just blow up his planet and be done with it."
"Really? Then the last time we spoke and you said you couldn't live without his cooking anymore... was that a lie?"
"Shuuuush-hush-hush! Shhuuuuut uuuup Vados!"
"And besides, he has a great effect on you.
You already lost weight. Something I struggled to accomplish for hundreds of years."
This little tidbit however does not escape the attention of one observant individual.
"Hmmmm... really now sister? Just what's the deal with this Earthling?"
"Oh nothing, nothing little brother. He's just a very talented chef who managed to make Champa have a well balanced diet. That's all."
"I see." Whis remains skeptical.
"But anyway brother-" Champa continues to converse with his sibling. "It seems we are even on this one."
"Yeah well... don't get used to it! Once I go back to MY Earth I'll make sure to punish them for holding out on me! Next time you won't have it so easy!"
But Champa just wags his finger. "Hooold your horses Beerus. We got something else to settle before..."
"And that would be?"
"I had my payback, yes. But there is still the matter of our Other rematch!"
"Oh..."
"Yes! Do you think I forgot about that?!
That finish was complete and total bogus! And this time we'll have none of that! I propose that as a new tradition we'll have a Tournament of Destroyers after each little "Battle" of ours. Starting now!"
"And why would I agree?"
"Because dear brother I have what you want! My half of the Dragon Balls!"
That got Beerus' attention. "Okay but what do you have to gain? Don't tell me you've been collecting them AGAIN for another stupid wish?"
"No... This time all I want is the sweet sweet taste of revenge! If I win I'll of course have your balls. But you can rest assured, I won't use them to screw you over. Probably."
"Hmph. I'm not worried because you won't win. Not in a million years! Remember before your precious Hit threw the match it was Goku who stepped out the ring first like a complete idiot!"
"Hah! You think I'll need something like that?!
Do I have to remind you that I have my own Saiyans now?"
"And do I have to remind YOU that they can't fuse?"
"I... Er... Well shit. No matter! Mine are still better! And I'll prove it to you! But I'll need one more team member if we are doing it like last time... Frost is out... That stupid gummy bear Botamo can rot in Hell and I'm NOT bringing someone you can beat by yelling! So that leaves..." He turns to you. "Ah perfect! I don't even need to fetch you! Do you want to be my fifth member? You can be the reserve."
"Re-" You want to complain and protest violently but Vados of all people stabs your foot with the bottom of her staff. Looking up at her you see she's plotting as well.
"I graciously accept Lord Champa!" While bowing you cock your head to the side and whisper to Vados. "But only because you asked nicely." She returns a smile as you straighten your back.
"Okay that's settled then!" Champa announces. "Let's say we'll hold the tournament in... about a week. That'll be enough time to gather the balls. How about it Beerus?"
"One week? That's kinda long isn't it?"
"I'M SORRY WE DON'T HAVE THE LUXURY OF A DRAGON BALL LOCATOR!"
"Okay, okay! One week it is."
"Great! Then it's settled! Now could you please leave? You've been sullying my planet for long enough! Chop chop!" Rudely Champa pushes his guests out the front door and waits until they fly away on a beam of light.
"Phew... I thought they'd never leave!
Vados! The plan!"
"Right away my lord." Extending her wand Vados begins to project what appears to be brackets and Champa walks over to point at them.
"Okay Eric! We don't have much time! So I'll explain my strategy quick so you and the others can get to prepping for the fights!"
"Okay but what the fuck was that?! Reserve my ass! I want to contribute!"
"I know that! But Beerus doesn't! He thinks you're just some Earthling not worth mentioning. Now shut up and listen!"
He points at the diagram. "The rules are simple. You have a stage and a barrier surrounding it. Touching anywhere else, i.e. the ground means you ring out and loose!
The other way of winning is knocking out your opponent, however killing is forbidden. And here's the important bit! Fights are one on one with each team deciding the order in which the fighters participate. If contender 1 wins his match then they go on to fight the second fighter of the opposing team. Got it?"
"So... potentially one man can wipe the entire enemy team?"
"Precisely! Now... here's where my plan comes in." Champa then marks the first two participants of the enemy team. "Beerus doesn't like change. If something works he'll stick to it because change is too much trouble. Knowing this it's pretty easy to guess who his first two fighters will be. Two powerhouses that are ridiculously strong.
Beerus relies on them constantly! So much so that during the last tournament he filled the last position with a friggin postman he was so certain of his victory!"
"So?"
"So... I doubt anyone in our universe could beat them one on one... However-" Champa then starts drawing lines. "Two on one..."
Reality then dawns on you as you watch his scribbling and put two and two together.
"You want to sacrifice four members of our team just to take out two guys?!"
"Yeap!" He says, proud of his idea.
"The others will do the heavy lifting while YOU will do the cleanup afterwards!
Brilliant, isn't it?"
"Didn't Hit participate in the last fight? Maybe we should consult him! He's the best assassin in the universe after all!"
"Technically true-"bVados confirms.
"But the key word is Assassin. Hit always worked alone so he doesn't know much about fighting in a team. However it is true that he has the most experience fighting Goku and Vegeta. After all he ringed them both out."
"He did?!"
Vados nods. "But to be fair one was a sucker punch that wouldn't work again. And the second one was his opponent forfeiting."
"Well we should still hear his input I say.
Maybe we can formulate a better strategy based on it."
"Alright but do keep in mind that we have very limited time available to us.vWhile we search for the Dragon Balls you all should prepare to the best of your abilities."
"That's what I was planning on doing Vados."
Not wasting much time you head out to where Hit is and coincidentally the girls as well.
They notice your approach and they all stop whatever they were doing with Caulifla casually approaching the god of destruction.
"What's up Champa?"
"What's up is that y'all are gonna fight in the Second Tournament of Destroyers!"
"And why would I do that?"
"Because Son Goku will be there."
"...
Kale! We're going!"
"Y-Yes sis!"
Meanwhile you approach Hit and start explaining the situation to him. "I see. So Champa wants to do that all over again. Very well. I could use some entertainment. But you said something about a strategy?" You explain Champas plan to him and what he expects.
"I see. That's actually not a bad idea. I could probably take out one of them... And if three Saiyans dogpile them then we might actually have a chance of beating them."
"Are they really that strong?"
"You have no idea. They are both around the level of a God of Destruction." You swallow nervously upon hearing that. "I managed to knock one of them out easily but I had the element of surprise on my side. I doubt I could pull it off again. Unless I improve that is."
"What can you tell me about them?"
"They are Saiyans. Like your friends over there. But on a whole other level. One of them was capable of holding up Caulifla and Kale at their maximum with minimal effort. Only by fusing did they manage to turn the table on him for a while."
*gulp* "S-Stronger than Kefla?! Holy shit..."
"I have no doubt in my mind that it was their contribution which lead to the victory of their universe. As for the others... I admit I didn't pay them much attention save for one or two.
But they are nowhere near as impressive."
"And you're saying me beating three consecutive opponents is the only way?
I wouldn't last against those saiyans?! AT ALL?"
Hit pauses and then asks this. "How long is your current time-skip?"
"One tenth."
"Then no. But do keep in mind, that is the worst possible scenario. What I'll say is this: We still have time until the tournament, right? Prepare as much as you can and we can decide the turn order on the spot. And who knows... maybe you won't have to fight three opponents. Last time one of them dropped out because they failed a test and another was a mailman."
"Test? What test?"
"It's a simple test meant to determine your cognitive functions. The two criteria are that no machines nor animals can't enter.
But it's a nice bonus that no imbeciles can enter."
"I see. So I shouldn't worry?"
"No. You'll pass it easy."
"Great!" You entwine your fingers and give them a good crack. "Then let's get training!"
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票