/ Anime & Comics / Dragon Ball Alternative
摘要
"If there's a world like Dragon Ball out there, then I was born in the wrong world." That was the thought Ajax has had all his life. The boring, normal world he lives in is a far cry from the world of Dragon Ball that he adored as a child. Shackled to a monotonous existence, he had expected to live out the rest of his days with little to hope for. Little did he expect that destiny had a different path in mind. In a twist of fate, Ajax found himself thrust into the fantastical realm he had dreamt of! The downside? He’s nine years old, essentially penniless, and has no system whatsoever to help him. Fantastic. Great! He’ll beat Frieza by making him laugh to death! What's worse, the universe he landed in doesn’t seem to adhere to the canon he remembers…
Disclaimer: Dragon Ball, DBZ, DBGT, DBS, and other DB spin-offs are all owned by Funimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Any content and references made belong to their respective owners. Anything original in here that I wouldn’t get sued for belongs to me. :)
Cover image belongs to Ispeakforf2p!
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140評論
4.62
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
Here I am posting a review I never posted one usually I just comment but I am going because of two things First the potential and the quality of the story Second the talent of the Author So I will start with the positive points of the story As this is a fanfiction i will start with the world building or more precisely its consistency with the original story (DB) the author really paid homage to the original story how he described the world or how he organizes the arcs it's just extraordinary and not to mention the ki system one of the weak points of db the inconsistency in fights or how the ki works the author managed to make it coherent and the explanations are one of the best that I have seen in a fiction I can't give less than 5 for the world building Now for the writing like the world building it's really very good the author has real talent for that for me a good author is an author who can transmit the emotion he wants to the readers and he succeeded in doing that you feel the emotions and that the world is alive and the fights are beautiful you don't have a character that forget a move he has or don't know when to use it and you really feel the excitement during the fights some time there too many description it can annoy some but that all there just another thing i will explain in the end For me the writing deserved a 4,5 It's almost perfect not a 5 but that's normal it's the author's first fiction and with his talent I'm sure he'll improve For the Updates it's quite consistent I saw the author take a break between the arcs but normal maybe he thinks about the story or just rests a little but apart from that it's very consistent So 4,5 well deserved I would like to give a perfect score but I try to be as objective as possible Finally the Characters they are perfect the author managed to make them intelligent and transformers 1 dimensional characters into 3 dimensional characters you really understand their choice and he even managed to make even secondary characters memorable I have nothing to complain about even the main character is intelligent and has a cool character development (something I don't personally like but it won't influence my notation because I try to be as rational as possible I will explain at the end of the review of some want to know) Here is my review Those were the positive points, now let's move on to the negatives First thing it's about the writing and the second and last is something completely subjective it won't have any influence over my rating let's start the first thing is gags and the goofyness of the story there is too much especially at the beginning of the story but that's not really the problem as I said I try to be as objective as possible and the humor is subjective it's not something that should be taken intro account intro the rating so i will explain why it's too much (It decreases as the story progresses and the author improves) the gags and humor should never have an impact in the story and should never influence the characters an example in some parts of the story the mc did let picolo take Gohan and MC was charged to inform chichi naturally she was angry that the MC did let picolo take him and she threatened the MC to protect his son even if it cost him his life and the mc was so afraid he didn't say a word and nodded the gag that the angry chichi makes other characters afraid is normal it exists even in DB but it should never influence the course of the story the MC is stronger he shouldn't put his life in danger because of a gag he can promise to protect Gohan because of guilt or empathy but never because of a gag another thing mr.popo did train the mc the gag was that mr.popo is the strongest that a gag some may find it funny other not but that is not the problem at some point the narrator says that Mr po-po is stronger than zeno here is the problem first as i said a gag should never have an impact on the story and even less the power rankings of fiction and a narrator should be neutral it would be okay if The mc said that while thinking Because that would be just his opinion (maybe influenced by fear of the moment or just as a joke) but the narrator should stay neutral because in a story any thing the narrator says should be the True that was all I have to say about the humor let's go to the last thing my opinion about the mc (again my personal opinion and it has nothing to do with the quality of the story and it didn't influence my rankings) at the start I really liked the MC in the start Even when born as a human he did succeed in becoming stronger he was intelligent rational and would do anything to make the earth survive and would always make the most rational choice even if he had to sacrifice character (he didn't really sacrifice character just made sure that the story followed the canon an example made sure that goku was dead against Raditz so he can go to Kaio and lean kaioken for the fights against Vegeta later because he wasn't strong enough at that moment) i like his logical thinking not being blinded by his emotions (that was because he sees the characters just as characters not as real people) but as the story progressed he became more and more human and promised himself to never again sacrifice his friends even if he has to die The Characters development was amazing author i have nothing to say about it especially the confrontation with Picolo but I would have preferred his character was still the same i liked his rational manipulative personality that who did put the result before the process again that was just my preference Author good luck with the rest of the story you really have talent don't give up I tried to put my emotions out of the rating as much as possible and give the story the rating it deserves out of respect for the author
揭示劇透
We mourn the loss of a true legend, Akira Toriyama who brought joy and inspiration to millions around the world through his iconic creations. Toriyama's legacy will forever endure, his work will continue to inspire and bring smiles to countless hearts.
The book starts out well, but all the decisions after he is granted his wish are downright arrogant. His thoughts of preserving the Canon is stupid when he is added into the world. Anyways not the story for me hopefully mc can grow as a person and not treat everyone as pawns.
This story started off really well. The main character logically laid out good plans, acted on them to the best of his ability, and started progressing. I liked him not having a super strong ability off rip, giving him something to work towards. Unfortunately, the author stated taking this story down the crack route. Between incredibly goofy dialogue and bringing in annoying aspects like characterizations from the Abridged series I’ve lost nearly all enjoyment for this fic. I guess I’ll check it out every once in a while to see where it’s progressed.
Okay, that's a really well written story, but that's not a story for me, read about an MC so weak and useless isn't my cup of tea, 20 chapters and the Mc hasn't changed anything in the cannon besides some small "butterfly effects", an mc that have trained for 20 chapters and still got used as a baseball bat for radditz isn't an mc that I wanna keep following. I know that you wanna make some development, and I really like to read some weak to strong, but when the Mc is just weak and you plan make him strong in 200 chapters, that's not a pacing for me.
I have been on this platform for years and I have read thousands of books, for thousands of hours. And I have to say this is a realy high quality story, one of the best I have seen. The only advice I would give you is to keep the quality high, as a lot of times once a story gets into the hundreds of chapters the quality wanes. So please take your time, but don’t drop the story. I really look forward to the next chapter.
Even without many chapters to comment on, I like how the characters are portrayed and express their feelings, the protagonist is very weak from the looks of it, which is disappointing but has potential. Let your cover not just be an illustration, but a character.
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This Fanfic is the best of all Dragon ball's one here. The characters are fun to read and its an AU in a good way ! Goo job Author ! Keep Going ! Give me more !!!!!
This is too much out of canon. All characters are rewritten in authors image. The story gets slower with each chapter. At first the story was very fast paced with a lot of time skips and characters you could say were canon, but now... Chapters have so many bulls.... details, that the story barely progresses. At this rate author will need about a thousand or even more chapters just to finish this fic.
This is a great work that portrays the characters perfectly considering their feelings, emotions, memories and even personality. One of the few works where I see this level of depth , in addition to the incredible character who did not receive fingers from another and yet did not give up, incredible determination and created a plan to overcome variables. Honestly this is by far the best DBZ work I've seen
The lowest form of fanfiction in existence is a canon tag-a-long story. That’s where an OC joins the story and contributes absolutely nothing...they're just there to spectate.
Yo so this is my first ever writing a review so it will be a bit wonky and might have bad grammer or feel making seem lik im glazing the author. Well to begin with this story it an amazing piece of work in my personal opinon but doesnt make it objectivly amazing but it still a great read with comparable to outsider resolve and jujutsu reincarnation with the way author build's and desgins the world and character's and how the mc ajax actually effect the canon plot and whats happing. Story also shows great grammar and intresting story devolment make me feel curios each time a new chapter drops. The only things not so great is if your enjoyer of op mc is this story is slow paced and more wait and see compared till its op powers day 1 or 20 or 100 but one thing im completely sure of that will happen later but it wont just be a breeze of mc destorying the opponets but stratical thinking and planing involed and som unique concepts and so on that all i have to say thank you for anyone who took the time the read this review.
Author made the MC use 2 wishes instead of 1 and then NERFS the MCs powers lol like why?? And then it’s practically exactly like canon so no point in reading this garbage
揭示劇透
Hello Author-san This was by far the best dragon Ball fanfic I have ever read on any platform I'm very interested for the future arcs and what you plan to do with the story I hope you haven't dropped it yet (and I'm kinda exited for who you chose as a love interest) What I really love about this fanfic is that you didn't make your MC a force of nature who can get over any obstacle he wishes and tries to be realistic. Also you didn't make him arrogant and rest of the characters dumb. You made him a good human being with his own flaws. I hope he works out his flaw to use others like just anime characters later
Probably one of the most well thought out and properly written fanfics ive read. The author ensures that the mc doest get crazy power from the start but leaves a clear path to power that will simply take time. He allows us to enjoy the story and mixes in unique personalitys from dragon ball abridged which is quite a laugh. Overall i would recommend this.
You fellow readers may not heard this news yet but Akira Toriyama aka. the creator of Dragon Ball has passed away last week in May 1, 2024. They just recently release the news to the world after week of his passing. Rest in Peace Father of Mangaka and as a maker of my greatest childhood anime. 🥲🫡
one thing where did you find information about force fields/ki cancellation or is it something you made up? So I'm going to be honest I don't remember seeing anything about it
good story by far the best in terms of Dragon Ball Fan Fics. 1. The main character of this story is a human and I think that's amazing,I'm tired of watching drgaon ball fanfics have the same trope of an overpowered sayain blah blah blah.Its very predictable and this is a new way of going about it and so far so good. 2.Some of you may be worried about him being human because if the fact its dragon ball and their are bigger forces at play like Frieza ect,Yes the Main character knows this and he wishes for an amazing ability throught the earthly dragonballs.Do not believe anyone telling you that the ability is nerfed or underwhelming,They are the same people expecting a fast paced story where the Mc becomes an "ancient legendary God baby big boy sayain" like grow up. 3.The writing quality is amazing so far so good,My only problem with this is the updating schedule, It's very slow but that's just my opinion it's steady I think it's like 1 chapter per week..I'm just addicted and want more...but yeah I did end up giving the updating stability 3 stars it should be 4 stars but I just want more chapters.. 4.World background not much to say on this end, It's a DragonBall fanfic everything is described well so like...idk bro it's DragonBall we know what everything looks like already bit the descriptions are great as well. 5.Story development is amazing.I love how it develops in such a nice pace.Not everything is happening fast and oh my God,The way characters react to his actions is amazing for example when he killed ___ person to forward the plot, Piccolo was questioning him and others looking at him suspiciously or when he let _____ person die,That also raised a few eye brows.His actions affect the reactions if those around him and I think that's great because UT brings more life to the side characters around him. 6.Overall this story is a 4.0 at least for me and I would give it a higher rating If the author just dropped more chapters 😭. The development is nicely done,Writing quality amazing,Sidr characters feel real and not just there for convenience,World background is great but I've already watched the show so I know what things look like but the descriptions can help you picture them better as well. 7.Advice, Moving forward I would like if the author posted images of what he was describing and what the main character did look like, I've seen other novels and fan fics do this and I think it would be a great addition if you just add a text that says image and then posted a picture of what you want us to see as readers by commenting on the image.That would be amazing as well.Please do update more if you can, I think this will help your fanfic grow faster because by all means I think this fanfic is the DragonBall version of Naruto faint smile both stories are peak.