/ Fantasy / Douluo Dalu: Dark vermilion phoenix douluo
摘要
hope u enjoy it cause i'm new don't be to harsh on me
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13評論
3.78
- 寫作品質
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- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
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寫檢討
Slow down, your rushing the story far too much. The grammar is bad, lack of a stable storyline, and the story feels like it's been rushed.
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
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This novel had great potential but author destroyed it. The first 20 chapters are good infact you might feel this is one of best dolu novel out there. But the moment they leave for shriek is when it goes down hill and chapter gets worst by every new chapter. 1. Wrong level of all character from novel 2. wrong spirits of character from cannon 3. Wrong behaviour of character 4. Most importantly hyping fight and then literally next chapter they don’t fight
this the work of art but its called messy by me because its so good that its leave my mind messy
i like this story & support for new comers who trying make best Fanfic stories. There is no perfect stories & people make mistakes. That why we called ourselves human being. We are not robot or artificial intelligence like Jarvis Come on Writer make more Fanfic stories. You can do it
You made him to strong to fast and horrible grammar and the library of heavens path you have too read/skim through books not just have a tablet with all the information already so yeah sorry but not my type of story but I did like his first spirt that's about it.
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yah lumayan........................................enak.................................................................................................untuk dibaca
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i dont understand why all the authors , while writing aim to follow the original protagonists like puppies and becoming a pure beta supporting character. And NOT aiming to make the SI(s) Alpha and them leading the the story ,while not being a saint who's objective is to distribute all of his resources and knowledge with the original protagonists. I wish that stories for the SI(s) where they decide where the story line should go.