章節 5: Chapter 5
[1st POV]
There were many people in the theater, almost full of them.
For some reason, they were watching a new Disney movie this evening, and the parents decided to take their kids to see it.
That turned out to be a bad idea for them.
There were two hyenas, nine of the Joker's goons, and his girlfriend Harley Quinn with them.
As soon as we arrived, Gordon nodded toward a group of children.
We immediately rushed to calm them down and guide them out of the building.
However, I didn't get to do that.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
I can guess who is laughing madly behind me.
"And who are you? I don't know you! Are you new?"
I turned around and saw the grinning Joker.
He looked just like in the comics, with pale skin, green hair, and eyes, and he was wearing a purple suit and holding a gun. And, of course, he had his famous crazy smile.
"Yes, Mr. Joker. I've been working here recently. Almost a month."
"A month? My records say nothing about you! Craster!"
He shouted and shot one of his goons.
"You incompetent fool, how could you let me down like this?!"
"Bang!"
He continued to yell at the corpse.
"There's a new guy in Gotham, and we didn't welcome him. This is simply rude hospitality!"
'Why do I feel like I'm about to get into trouble?!'
"Ding!"
[+1 Intuition.]
[New Quest: Meet the Joker
Description: You must get acquainted with the Joker.
Rewards:
+1000 Experience
+1000 reputation with saved residents of Gotham and the police
+Variable
+Variable
[Failure or Refusal: Title: Fallen hero, Death.]
[Do you want to accept the quest?]
[Yes/No.]
'Oh, hell! System, are you kidding me?'
"Joker. Let the kid go. He's just a green rookie."
Gordon interjected.
"You promised to release the children."
"Oh, I am releasing them. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Along with you. However, this young man will stay right here and I want to get acquainted with the new guy! Ha-ha-ha-ha! It's simply unacceptable to send someone new in our friendly circle away without a proper welcome and gift."
Commissioner Gordon frowned and nodded.
As he walked past me, he whispered.
"Don't worry. Batman's on his way."
A minute later, I was already tied up and seated in a chair facing the auditorium.
"So, let's get acquainted. I'm Joker. This is the delightful Harley Quinn, my charming assistant and beloved. And these are my guys, my loyal crew. Hee-hee-hee-hee! Except for Craster, the fool who thought he could leave our friendship circle. Oh! Wait, I fired him myself! I totally slipped my mind! Ha-ha-ha-ha! And what's your name?"
"Isaac Dinklage. I'm new here, working part-time with the police when I get bored."
I said with a grin.
Knowing Joker's character, he enjoys lively people, but it's best to speak to him in his own language.
Honestly, there's no point in talking to him seriously because he's a lunatic but a genius one.
Looking at the outcomes of each encounter between Joker and Batman, I can tell the clown is resourceful and well-prepared, holding his own against Batman.
Joker's always been an interesting figure to me.
"Ha-ha-ha. An interesting fellow. Working part-time. Ha-ha-ha. I hope you won't be leaving us so soon? I'm quite a social person."
"Oh, not at all. I've wanted to meet you for a while. You're a pretty famous figure."
"Really?"
He said, wiping away an imaginary tear.
"I'm so touched by your words. It's nice to know I'm popular. Ha-ha-ha. Harley, we'll have to celebrate this. And I already know how!"
Joker's tone made me uneasy.
To confirm my suspicions, Joker pulled out a transmitter from his inner pocket.
"Let's put on a fireworks show, shall we? Right. We'll blow up a few hostages and honor our dear Isaac that way. Ha-ha-ha."
'Damn! I needed to fix this situation.'
"Hey, Joker! That's not right. Where's your sense of hospitality and humor? I mean, I came all the way from New York, hoping to see the legendary Joker—a man who loves risk, jokes, and games. But instead, here you are, looking like someone ready to blow up a few hostages and maybe even yourself in the process. Where's the thrill, the fun, the games? Show some respect for my expectations! You got distracted by them, and now you're just leaving me here, ignored?"
'Great Darkseid, what am I even saying?'
Joker looked at me with such an odd expression for a couple of seconds, sending a chill down my spine.
Still, I kept a disappointed look on my face, and then he started glancing back and forth between the terrified crowd and me.
"Ha-ha-ha! You've got a funny look on your face. I like you."
"Sorry, but I'm into girls. Wait! What about Harley?"
I shot a glance at her.
"Is she just for show, or did she make you lose faith in women? That's not cool, man. Women are something special."
"Hey! Mr. J loves me!.."
"Harley, be quiet when men are talking!"
Joker snapped.
"Ugh! Sexist."
She scoffed and disappeared somewhere through a service door.
"Ah! Women… They can be so difficult. And no, I'm straight too, but Harley, oh! What a wonderful wildcat she is…"
I endured about five minutes of him rambling about how they met and what she's like in bed.
Meanwhile, my skill in "Talk No Jutsu" went up a level.
"Oh! Now, where was I?"
"Something about Harley loving the cowgirl position, I think?"
I prompted.
"No, no. There was something I wanted to tell you before that… Ah! That's it. We're going to play a game! Cards. Here are the rules: if I win, I get to cut off a piece of you each time I win."
This was bad.
"And if I win?"
"Then… then… Oh! Right, you're a cop! So, if you win, I'll release one… no, no. Since it's such a lovely day for introductions, and I like you, I'll let three hostages go for each of your wins. Isn't that brilliant?"
"Absolutely!"
I grinned even wider.
Honestly, this was better than I could've hoped for.
"Ding!"
[Additional Side Quest: Gambling is Everything!
Description: Win every round against Joker.
Rewards:
+Variable
+Variable
[Failure or Refusal: Title: Death or permanent injury]
[Do you want to accept the quest?]
[Yes/No.]
"Excellent! I'm in."
Afterward, we began playing, and with my "Unlucky" title…
I wasn't sure where Batman was, but after half an hour of intense gameplay with Joker, I was actually winning.
I was drenched in sweat, and fifteen hostages had already been freed.
"Ha-ha-ha! He got you puddin!"
Harley chirped, clearly amused, as Joker's eyebrow twitched in irritation.
"Shut up, Harley! Rrrrrgh!"
It's time to defuse the situation.
"Joker, want to hear a joke?"
"Hmm. Go ahead!"
"So, two lunatics escaped from an asylum one time. They were running across the rooftops of buildings. One of them jumped over to the roof with no problem, but the other one didn't because he was afraid of heights. The first guy tried convincing him to jump that it was just a short distance. But the second guy wouldn't budge. So, finally, the first guy pulled out a flashlight, shined it across the gap, and said, 'Here, just walk across on the beam of light!'"
"And?"
Joker grinned, clearly intrigued.
"And the second guy says, 'Yeah, right! You think I'm that stupid? You'd turn it off when I was halfway across, and I'll fall!'"
"Ha-ha-ha-ha! I like you. Your jokes are funny. And best of all, they're insane."
Of course, I stole that joke from you.
It was supposed to come up later, maybe five years from now, during the events of "The Killing Joke."
As I told my joke, we didn't stop playing.
Joker was so intrigued that he lost again, and three more hostages were set free.
There were now only twelve left.
I needed to come up with something else.
"Hey, how about we forget about these hostages? We let them watch their boring cartoon in peace and go somewhere else?"
"Ha! And where would we go?"
"Anywhere, even out of town. How about a barbecue? Do you like meat? I'm a great cook."
"Hey boss. Maybe we should just kill him. He's just trying to chat you up…"
"Bang!"
"Bang!"
"Shut up!"
Joker yelled at the second corpse of his former goon.
It seemed they often annoyed him with their initiative.
After wandering back and forth briefly, Joker ran up to me, grinning widely.
"Agreed but let's leave a little gift behind."
They wired the hostages with explosives and set a timer for ten minutes. Then, they dragged me along a secret passage that led under the theater.
"Mr. Jay, can I call my neighbor?"
I asked.
"Why do you need to do that?"
He frowned.
"I have a dog at home. I forgot to take her out, and she might make a mess. My neighbor is a good woman; she loves animals, so she could walk them for ten minutes. I won't be home for a while..."
"Alright, but make it quick."
He turned away from me.
Fortunately, he didn't decide to burst into my home to "walk the dog." I had a feeling I'd have to explain that the dog had been stolen…
I quickly dialed Arthur...
"Hello! Hi there, Aunt Vicky. Sorry for calling at this hour, but my friends just dragged me away for a trip out of town. I have a dog at home that needs to be walked urgently. You know how it is, but it only takes about ten minutes, and after that, if I don't take her out on time, there'll be a disaster in my apartment. I hope you understand. Oh! Sorry, I have to hang up. We're getting on the bus now!"
Afterward, I hung up.
I figured Arthur would understand me correctly.
He's not stupid. Otherwise, he wouldn't have lasted so long as a cop in Gotham.
After five minutes of riding in Joker's vehicle, which looked like a brightly painted minibus, we were chased by another car.
It was the Batmobile.
"The little mouse is chasing us, Mr. J!"
Harley squealed excitedly.
"Ha-ha-ha! Isaac, my friend, celebrate with us! Batman has decided to join the picnic. What a day we're having!"
"Wow! Awesome!"
I genuinely cheered at the appearance of Dark Knight.
"I've met so many famous characters in Gotham in such a short time. And what personalities they are…"
"Ha-ha-ha! I'm glad you're enjoying this. Guys, put on a show for our little mouse!"
A shootout broke out, but I didn't get a chance to help Bats.
On one of the turns, one of Joker's henchmen lost control and crashed into a shop at full speed.
Then, darkness…
To be continued…
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