章節 47: Chapter Three: No More Crutch
The following day, Haruna and Kanako both awoke to find they had received identical messages from Akio. It simply stated that each of them should meet him behind the school after the final bell. "...What does he want?" Haruna asked herself as she stared at the message. A feeling of dread began to form within her. "It's been months since we talked. Why now?"
When the deal between the trio had first begun, Akio had been very hands-on. He had spent plenty of time hanging around Haruna and poking at her emotions, along with spying on the two girls to make sure they were keeping up their end of the agreement. However, as time had gone on, Haruna had noticed Akio being around less and less. Being on summer break definitely played a role in that, but even before then, the boy had seemed to be missing. Truthfully, it was something of a relief to not have Akio around constantly, but that was what made his message all the more unusual.
The only conversation that Haruna had had recently with Akio was the night of the festival. There had been another instance where they had seen each other, but that time could hardly be considered "having a conversation." On top of that, the whole reason they had run into each other was because Akio had been dropping Kanako off. Remembering that left a bitter taste in Haruna's mouth. It only served as a reminder of how high the hill was that she had to climb. "It looked like they were on a date," Haruna thought before recalling Kanako's face that night. "That... didn't look like the kind of face you make after a date..."
For all the emotion swirling around within her, the one ranking at the top was confusion. There were already her own feelings to contend with, but Haruna found that there was another component to all of this that she had been leaving out. "What exactly does Miyashita-kun expect to get out of this?" she wondered. The original deal had been that he'd go out with one of the girls after one year as long as they were convincing as a couple themselves. However, now that Haruna had real feelings for Kanako instead, she felt the terms of the deal had become one-sided. "Kanako could just date Miyashita-kun with no problems now..." she thought. Of course, that wasn't what she wanted at all, but objectively speaking it made the most sense. But, because Kanako didn't know about Haruna's feelings for her, she just assumed that both girls were still in the running for Akio's heart.
Haruna was in love with Kanako. Kanako was in love with Akio. If this were a soap opera, Akio would be in love with Haruna, thus completing the love triangle. "I'm pretty sure that's not it though..." Haruna thought. If Akio did like Haruna in a romantic way, then wouldn't he have accepted Haruna's confession on the day that she gave it? So the question remained: What did Akio Miyashita stand to gain from a deal like this?
"Maybe he just has a thing for yuri," Haruna mused, although she knew that wasn't it either. But how did she know? It was in the way Akio spoke. When the topic would come up about feelings of love and relationships, Haruna could tell he always seemed to be picking and choosing his words carefully. He'd take his time when he spoke, crafting the perfect sentences to say what he wanted to say without revealing his hand.
Haruna sighed, annoyed that she was already thinking so much as soon as she was getting out of bed. "What is even going on with my life anymore?" she thought depressingly. While she was certain she would rather have her feelings for Kanako over her previous feelings, Haruna had to admit that life seemed to be much less complicated when she just naively had a crush on the boy she had grown up with.
*****
Next-door, a much bigger panic was happening. "A-A-Akio-kun texted me saying he wants to talk?!" Kanako exclaimed, snapped to 100 percent awake at the sight of the message. Unbeknownst to her, Haruna had also received the same message, but without that knowledge, Kanako assumed she had gotten a personal message. Receiving such a thing sent her into a whirlwind. She had no idea what it could possibly mean or what it was that Akio wanted to talk about.
"Hee-hee," Kanako giggled to herself. "We haven't seen each other since-" As soon as Kanako went to remember, she stopped. "Right..." she muttered. Immediately, she reminded herself of the day they had went out during summer break. Particularly, the moment that Akio had outright deemed their excursion "not a date." "He said it so strongly too..." Kanako thought sadly. She understood the situation she was in. To call their time together a date wouldn't be fair to Haruna, who was also aiming for Akio as far as Kanako knew. However, she felt like Akio had put too much force in his words. It felt more like he was killing even the idea of it being a date rather than him making a correction.
"Why?" was the word that ran through Kanako's mind. She wondered why Akio had seemed to be so against the idea. "Maybe... he likes someone else?" she thought. Taking that even further still, Kanako faced herself with something she didn't want to consider. "What if he's already decided who he'll go out with? Does that mean Haruna..." Kanako allowed her thoughts to trail off. She had no desire to finish the rest of it. After all, the conclusion to it was, "...has already won Akio's heart?"
It was worth considering from Kanako's point of view. If she was wrong, then that would be good news for her, but if it was true... "Then what's the point in doing this anymore?" she wondered. If Akio had already chosen Haruna, then why continue their deal? This question and the one before happened to pile on to a concern Kanako had begun to have during the summer. She had started to think that maybe the deal she was involved in wasn't good anyways. That maybe, it would be better to end it herself rather than continuing to fake a relationship for the sake and hope of another. Surely it couldn't be good for her or Haruna if things stayed as they were?
However, Kanako worried that if she took such a course of action, it would ruin any chance she had to claim Akio for herself. "What if he really rejects me because I broke the deal?" Kanako thought. That didn't necessarily mean he'd go out with Haruna, but Kanako guessed that her own odds would plummet to zero.
"I don't know what to do..." she moaned. Waking up to such exciting news had made her heart flutter, but now that she had given thought to the matter, a weight seemed to be on her instead, making her feel heavy. The only choice she had available was to go to the spot that Akio had said in his message and hope it wasn't bad news.
In the process of putting herself together for the day, Kanako had to retie her bow three times before she finally got it right. A lick of her hair didn't want to cooperate, rebelling by jutting out to the side in a most-obvious fashion. During breakfast, Kanako spilled her juice, although she managed to avoid getting most of it on her skirt. By the time Haruna made it to the front door to pick her up, Kanako was a thorough mess.
"I guess you're still not a morning person," Haruna joked. "Yeah..." Kanako said absentmindedly. "Um, Kanako? You okay?" Haruna asked. "Yeah..." Kanako repeated in the same tone. "What's going on with her?" Haruna wondered when she suddenly had a guess. "There's only one thing that messes with Kanako like this." "Hey," the girl said aloud. "You didn't... happen to get a text from Miyashita-kun this morning, did you?" she asked. Kanako jumped, looking up at Haruna with a startled expression. "H-H-How did you-" "So he sent to both of us," Haruna sighed. "...Both?" Kanako repeated. "Yep. Something about meeting up to talk right?" Haruna asked for confirmation. "Y-Yes, that's right," Kanako said. Surprisingly, she felt relieved. For a moment, Kanako had thought that maybe Haruna only knew because she was involved with whatever Akio wanted to say (perhaps to announce that they were going to be dating), but seeing her reaction to the situation made it clear that that wasn't the case.
But, feeling relief caused Kanako to wonder why that was. Did she really not want to be alone with Akio? Or was it just a comfort to know that Haruna would be there too? Either of those being the reason was as possible as the other, or it could've been something else entirely. Kanako had no real way to know.
As Kanako spun round and round in her head, she felt a hand take her own. "Ready to go?" Haruna asked. The question wasn't asked with joy, but there was certainly no tone of annoyance or malice in it either. Rather, it was a question that was asked more as a formality than as one expecting an answer. Seeing the process of routine unfold before her eyes and receiving the warm touch of Haruna in her hand brought Kanako a great sense of ease.
In response to Haruna's question, Kanako nodded, smiling gently as the two began to make their way to school.
*****
With each passing minute, time seemed to stand still for both of the girls that hung in anticipation. For Kanako, she both looked forward to and feared what Akio would have to say to them. For Haruna, she hated to admit it, but she desperately wanted to know what Akio could want with the two of them. "Just one of us getting a message would've been weird, but with both of us getting it, I bet it has something to do with our deal with him." What that something could be, Haruna didn't know.
While Haruna guessed at what her future meeting could be about, she looked to her left. To that side and two seats up sat Chiyo. It wasn't unusual for her to be messing around in class, whether she was doodling in her notebook or making funny faces at Haruna. However, today was different. Chiyo was fidgeting a lot and she looked uncomfortable. Her face held a worried expression and she was looking at the clock more often than Haruna was. "What's going on with her?" Haruna wondered. She wanted to actually ask the gal, but with their positions in class, it was much easier for Chiyo to talk to Haruna than the other way around.
Seeing her behavior made Haruna think back to last night. "She's been acting pretty weird lately, even for her," she thought. The unease she felt yesterday morning, the uncharacteristic anger that had come from Chiyo last night, and now her evident anxiety on display for all to see. All of these clashed with the girl that Haruna knew as Chiyo. "Actually, I don't know if I've ever even seen Chiyo really worried," Haruna thought. "...How much do I really know about her?"
Haruna had never been one to think deeply about her friendships. She figured as long as the person was around and they were on good terms, that was good enough. When it came to Chiyo, she had appeared in Haruna's life like a whirlwind, constantly bouncing from one thing to the next so fast Haruna had decided it was just easier to sit on the ride than to actually join her. Because of that, Haruna was beginning to have a realization. There was a gap in her knowledge about Chiyo. Beyond the surface-level facts that most people knew, Haruna knew a little more. But beyond that, a deep abyss loomed. What laid beneath the bubbly surface? Why did Chiyo insist on helping Haruna in her love life?
What made Chiyo, Chiyo?
Unfortunately, the answer to this question was one that could not be found in a single day, let alone a couple of hours. Disparaging over such a thought only served to make Haruna's own concerns worsen. "Damn it. Why is everything happening at once like this?" she complained. Her feelings for Kanako. Hers questions for Akio. Her wonderings about Chiyo. The list continued to grow, with none of the previous items getting a resolution.
Why was it that the longer the year went, the more her problems became? Haruna paused. "Problems, huh?" she repeated. Were they actually problems? Perhaps not. Love shouldn't be viewed as one, and while there were difficulties present with Akio, it was hard to necessarily go as far as to classify those as problems either. The thoughts Haruna was having about Chiyo were new revelations, so it was simply too early to decide on which side that potential issue would fall.
Back and forth Haruna went with herself, or maybe it was more accurate to say she went around in circles. From one to another to the next, until Haruna started to feel dizzy. Such heavy thinking (and so much of it) was out of the ordinary for someone like her. "God, at this rate I'm going to make myself sick," she thought, somewhat frustrated with herself.
By the time the bell rang for lunch, Chiyo was gone. Haruna looked around the room, but the gal was nowhere to be seen. "Where the hell did she go?" Haruna got up to go check the other classrooms, but her search was fruitless. Kanako said that she hadn't seen Chiyo, and Jasmine reported the same. Haruna's worries were growing. "Why would she just disappear without saying a word?" Haruna thought. "That's so unlike her."
Chiyo wouldn't return for the rest of the day.
Throughout its entirety, Haruna tried everything to find out what was going on. She tried texting and calling Chiyo, but got no response. During the few breaks she had, Haruna ran around the school, looking everywhere for her friend. And yet, it was all useless. Chiyo Wakabayashi had left the school grounds, without telling a teacher or student why.
"This is the last thing I need right now..." Haruna moaned as she stared into an empty room. It was the most recent place she had thought to look, but it proved to be as pointless as all of her other attempts. Her revelation about Chiyo and Haruna's lack of knowledge about the gal, plus the fact that she had vanished was certainly a bizarre coincidence. So bizarre in fact that it made Haruna think that it wasn't coincidence at all. "She left for a reason. I know she did," Haruna told herself.
Chiyo was weird. Flashy. Loud. But also smart when you needed her to be. She was happy. Warm. Caring. But also cryptic when you wanted straight answers. An easy enough girl to understand on the outside and yet a walking contradiction all the same. "I don't get it!" Haruna shouted internally. "Why?! Why are you like this?!" She could feel her frustration building. Leaving it unchecked would surely get the better of her, but with so much already on her plate, Haruna was having a hard time maintaining any level of emotional balance at all.
When the time came for the end of the school day and the beginning of her meeting with Akio, Haruna was in disarray.
*****
Standing outside behind the school building, a soon-to-be fall breeze swept through the area. It carried with it a chill that seemed to represent the air in the space where three people stood. Underneath a tree stood a boy, and across from him stood two girls. In near-perfect sync, they were replicating the events that had taken place in April. Only five months had passed since then, but it felt like time itself had doubled with all that had happened.
"So, how are you two?" the boy began casually. Haruna only glared in response. "I-I'm fine," Kanako replied nervously. "Good. I'm glad to see you both in good health," Akio said, still smiling like everything was normal. "Y-You too. It sure has been awhile," Kanako said. "Yeah, since around mid-summer, right? Thanks again for coming out with me," Akio said. Kanako winced. "Sure..."
Standing to the side was Haruna, who had had enough. "Knock it off with the small talk. Just get to the point already or we're leaving." "We, hm?" Akio repeated, glancing between Kanako and Haruna with a slight smirk. "Oh shut up. You know what I mean," Haruna spat. "You know Haruna-chan, it feels like you haven't changed at all since April," Akio remarked. "Funny, it feels like you've changed a little too much," Haruna scoffed. In the middle, Kanako began to panic. "U-Um, uh, A-Akio-kun, maybe you should tell us why we're here...?"
Looking at Kanako, he gave a brief smile before putting both the girls into his gaze. "Right. I must say, you two have done a lot better than I would've expected. There's a decent portion of the school that really thinks you're a couple." "Is that so," Haruna said flatly, unimpressed. "W-Well, t-that's what we're supposed to do, right?" Kanako said. Akio raised a finger. "Incorrect dear Kana-chan. You're supposed to convince ME, not all of them. The student body's opinion does help though. After all, it's not like I can keep tabs on you 24/7." "That's not creepy at all," Haruna said sarcastically. Akio ignored her comment and continued. "Knowing they believe you two are dating allows me to determine if it really looks like that overall. And, in the times I have seen you, you've both looked the part most of the time."
Akio looked pleased with himself and the result, which made Haruna annoyed. "So what's your point?" she asked harshly. "My point is that through nearly half a year, you've done well, so congrats!" Akio answered with a celebratory clap of his hands. Kanako seemed happy about his reaction, but after seeing Haruna's glare, Kanako's smile faded. "Come on. Out with it," Haruna pressed.
Akio stared at Haruna before letting out a sigh. "Geez Haruna-chan, you're no fun. Back when we were little, you'd go along with me all the time. I guess love really does change things huh?" he said, taking a subtle jab at Haruna's feelings for Kanako. Kanako of course, thought Akio meant Haruna's feelings for HIM. That was why it was all the more confusing to her when Haruna (who did not appreciate being teased) grinded her teeth hard together and through them stated, "Say what you wanted to say already you jerk before I slug you."
Seeing that he had run out of time for fun, Akio shrugged, then got serious. "I'll be honest with you two. It's been fun watching you. Really, there are times you really look the part of a couple. But," he said, finger raised once more. "It just isn't working. So, with that said-"
"-our deal is officially over."
That statement sent shockwaves through the two girls, but for a moment they said nothing. They did nothing either, only able to try to take in the words the boy had just spoken. After a few seconds, it all began to set in. "Whatev-" Haruna was about to say, "Whatever, it doesn't matter to me," but before she could, Kanako interrupted her.
"Thank goodness," she breathed. Haruna turned to her, surprised. "I'm glad it's over. I hate feeling like I have to compete with you Haruna." She said it with such kindness, like that was the only thing she meant. Haruna couldn't be mad about it, but she found Kanako's reaction perplexing, which also forced a question out of her. "Does that mean you're rejecting both of us?" Haruna asked. "I had a feeling you would ask that. The simple answer is no. After all, part of the reason I had you two do this was so you'd finally make up and be friends again."
Haruna was displeased by Akio's answer. The phrase "part of the reason" stuck in her mind, like there was more to it than only the initial reason he had given. However, before she could even question it, Akio suddenly walked over to Haruna and whispered in her ear, "No more crutch."
The sentence was a simple one, and for a moment, Haruna didn't catch its meaning. But, given a second to process it, Haruna's eyes went wide. Her mouth dried and her tongue stilled. A shocking reality had just set in. Without the deal between Akio, Kanako and Haruna, she no longer had any excuse to be as close as she was.
There was no need for Haruna to wake Kanako up in the morning anymore. There was no reason to hold hands at all. There was no way to do things and say that it was for the sake of their deal when Haruna's motivations were actually different. Everything that Haruna had built up had shattered around her.
It wasn't like the end of the deal ended Kanako and Haruna's friendship. They could still hang out, and walking to and from school together was possible too. But the intimacy that was being stripped from her was all that Haruna could see. The gap between friends and lovers already loomed large, but now it felt like it had expanded even further, maybe even to the point that a bridge could not even cover the divide. Kanako now seemed so distant to Haruna even though they were standing side by side.
As for Kanako, seeing Haruna's reaction made her concerned. "Akio-kun, w-what did you tell Haruna?" she asked. "I was just giving her advice," he said with a plastered smile before turning back to Haruna. "I'm surprised Chiyo didn't warn you about this," he said. "She was so distraught over it when I told her I'd do this."
At the mention of her friend's name, Haruna's turned to look at Akio. "Chiyo?" she repeated. "What does Chiyo have to do with this?" "What? You didn't know? Didn't she tell you she was helping me? We'd meet regularly to exchange information and ideas about this deal of ours you know." Hidden beneath that line was another found only by Haruna. "We were talking about you and Kanako you know," it said, sounding mocking in its tone as it rang in Haruna's head.
Suddenly, everything clicked. Why Chiyo had been acting weird. Why Akio had called Haruna and Kanako behind the school. Why Chiyo had left. It all made sense. Chiyo knew this would happen, and she was trying to avoid the fallout. "So she just abandoned me..." Haruna thought darkly. To her, Chiyo had thrown her to the wolves, knowing she'd be devoured. The one crutch that Haruna had had to prop herself up with had been kicked out from under her. But while it was true Akio had dealt the final blow, Chiyo had known it would happen, electing to stand on the sidelines and watch until she could no longer.
Anger boiled in Haruna's heart. Truthfully, when all was said and done, Haruna was simply looking for someone to blame for her current predicament and Chiyo was the perfect target. But in the current moment, there was no such line of thought. Without warning, Haruna took off. Her destination would be Chiyo's house, where she would bare the full brunt of her rage on the gal.
"Haruna?!" Kanako exclaimed. "S-Sorry Akio-kun!" she said, dashing off after the girl. Akio only stood in place, letting a tired smile cross his lips.
As the two girls ran, Haruna began to outpace Kanako. "She's so fast!" Kanako thought. She had assumed that she could keep up with Haruna after racing her in the sports festival, but now it was clear that Haruna was just simply a better athlete than Kanako. On top of that, Kanako had no idea where Haruna was going. "Haruna!" she called between breaths. "Wait!"
But she wouldn't. Haruna kept running, ignoring the calls of Kanako as she pursued her target. And, after ten minutes or so, Haruna arrived. She stared at the small house for a moment before marching up to the front door. By the time Kanako showed up, Haruna was already in the process of trying to bang down the door. "Come out here Chiyo!" she yelled. "I know you're in there!"
Kanako stopped to look around. "This is where Chiyo lives?" she thought. She'd never been to Chiyo's house before, but thinking about it, Kanako was sure she'd passed by this particular house multiple times. But, that wasn't important at the moment. Right now, the issue was preventing Haruna from putting her fist through the door with how hard she was hitting it. Running up to her with tired legs, Kanako grabbed onto Haruna's arm. "Haruna that's enough! You're going to hurt your hand if you keep doing that!" Kanako cried. "Let go Kanako!" Haruna shouted. "Chiyo! Get out here!"
Then, in the midst of their scene, Kanako and Haruna both saw a figure trying to sneak away from the side of the house. "Huh?" Kanako let out. "Isn't that Chiyo?" she said as she pointed in the figure's direction. Haruna turned. "Ah," the figure let out, seeing she had been caught. Quickly, Haruna took large strides and arrived in front of the girl who had apparently tried to escape from the back door.
"H-Hey Haru-chi. What's up?" Chiyo said, clearly sweating over being caught. Haruna said nothing, instead only standing in front of the gal with her eyes pointed downward. "O-Okay, I know you're mad. Geez, I knew Akio-kun would do this. This is why I didn't wanna be at school. Shoulda known you come to my house though, haha," Chiyo said, finishing her half-hearted explanation with nervous laughter.
"...why?"
The voice was so quiet it barely registered. Chiyo stopped talking, putting all of her focus on Haruna. Finally, she looked up. Chiyo had expected to see fire in her eyes or a big scowl across her face, but... more than anything else, Haruna looked like she was in pain. Screaming from her eyes were the words, "You hurt me."
Seeing such an expression come from Haruna was not only shocking for Chiyo, but painful as well. It reminded her of her own past, but now was not the time to relive those moments. All Chiyo could do was search for the right words. "I'm sorry Haru-chi," she finally landed on. "I tried to tell Akio-kun he shouldn't but-"
"So you knew."
The words were cold and harsh, clearly covered in ice and bitterness as they were spoken from Haruna's mouth. "You knew what Miyashita-kun was going to do, and you didn't tell me. You just let it happen." "Haru-chi-" "I never realized it until he pointed it out, but I really needed that deal. It allowed me to do so much. Now without it, what chance do I have? But I bet you knew that already. After all, you're supposed to be good at this stuff, aren't you?"
"Haru-chi, I-" "Save it..." Haruna muttered. There was a pause before Haruna continued. "I heard you two were working together on this. Must've been a blast." Chiyo's eyes widened. "I bet you two had a lot of fun scheming up ways to 'help,'" Haruna said. Her face became sadder, like it hurt more and more with each word that passed through her lips. "I thought you were my friend, Chiyo."
"I am!" Chiyo wailed. "I am your friend Haru-chi! I swear, I was doing all of this for you and Kana-chan! You understand that, don't you?" Her question came out as pleading, praying that Haruna would just simply nod and move on. Unfortunately, life is not that kind. Instead, Haruna averted her eyes. Within them, a sense of understanding seemed to form, but it was marred by pain and anger. The chances of the former winning out against the latter were slim indeed.
Uncomfortable silence filled the air. Kanako continued to stand in place, both too shocked and confused by the scene to take any action. Finally, Haruna spoke once more. "I... already lost one friend through fighting like this. I don't want to do that again." For a second, Chiyo felt hope before it was dashed. "I won't go as far as trying to end our friendship. You've done a lot for me Chiyo and I do like you. But, right now, I just... I can't stand even being near you. Knowing that you basically let me get hurt like this... I hate it, and I hate you for it."
Chiyo could say nothing. In a rare moment, the gal's mouth remained shut. She knew she had messed up. "I'm... gonna go," Haruna said, turning away from her friend. Chiyo went to reach her hand out, but she quickly dropped it. There was no way her touch would reach Haruna in the current time. So instead, she watched as Haruna walked away from her. Unsure of what to do, Kanako went over to Chiyo, but before she could say anything, Chiyo just smiled at her, gave her a pat on the head, and walked away as well.
Confused by what she had witnessed, Kanako looked around her for anything that could explain what had happened. Of course, there was nothing to be found other than other houses and trees in the surrounding area. She wanted to do something, but it was very unclear what she should do. So, after thinking for a long moment and arriving only at a loss, Kanako too went home.
*****
While arguments unfolded away from the school, Akio remained where he had been left behind. After watching the two girls he had grown up with run off, he had taken his time enjoying the sight before going back over to the tree he had stood under originally. Leaning against it and going into a slight slouch, Akio let out a very long exhale as his face turned up to the sky. It was still bright, but not for much longer. For several seconds that each seemed to stretch themselves out into the length of a minute, Akio only stared into the air, keeping his focus not particularly trained on anything. He wondered how things were going between Haruna and Chiyo. No doubt that was where Haruna had gone, to the gal's house to confront her.
A smile crossed Akio's lips, but if one took a good look at it, they could tell it did not carry happiness. Instead, it was the mask for the pain and anguish he was currently feeling. "Sometimes, the only way to move forward is to get hurt," he mumbled to himself. "Guess that's true for everybody..."
"...especially me."
End of Chapter Three.
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票