章節 16: Chapter 16: Boundaries, Part 1
"What are you?" asked the customer.
A woman? A librarian? A stripper?
"You're very exotic looking," he continued. "What's your nationality?"
"American," I replied, having an inside joke with myself.
"What?" he asked, confused.
I rolled my third eye. Put away your tertiary liberal arts education. Trying to score a table dance is not the time to explain that nationality is the country or nation of origin and ethnicity is a sociocultural heritage.
"Native American," I clarified. "My grandfather was half Ottowa"
"Oh I'm Indian too," interrupted the blond, blue-eyed teeny bopper before me. "I'm like one-sixteenth on my mom's side. Or was it my dad's?"
Sure, but you didn't grow up with a Native name, christened with a powwow, didn't grow up learning the circle dance, the fancy dance, or the dance of the 49 Warriors. You don't have hand-sewn shawls that your mother made you or a hand-carved tomahawk.
He finally asked for a table dance.
I don't think this is what The Great Spirit had in mind when he taught our ancestors to dance, I thought.
The Great Spirit was not trying to avoid debtor's prison, snapped evil Ariel.
I started to give him a table dance; about halfway through the song, he started sucking my nipples. I tried to pull away, but he just seemed to suck harder.
The word Stop crawled up to my lips but died. Why was this so hard to say? This was vaguely unpleasant, a gross turnoff, and not something I was into at all.
Now is not the time to start saying no; what if he wants more dances?
He continued to suck.
I continued to let him.
When the dance was over, he pulled out a raggedy twenty and walked out of the club; I suddenly knew how that twenty felt. When I went back to the dressing room. My nipples looked like they had a sudden case of chicken pox.
Nolan and I haven't had sex for days; I cannot have hickeys on my breasts. What am I going to say to him, that I sucked on them myself?
I stared at the mark of passion on my body, wondering if I could cover it with makeup.
Just cover up with the baby doll, for now. Or a t-shirt.
I spritzed myself with body spray and walked back out into the fray.
*
At the end of my shift, I was on my third baby wipe, cleaning off the makeup caked on my face. The towlette was a Jackson Pollock painting of orange, brown, and black smears.
Make sure to get every speck off, so Nolan doesn't wonder why you have makeup on, I reminded myself.
My knees had a constellation of bruises on them from dancing on the hard, wooden floor of the stage, and my ankles begged for a hot water soak. I sniffed my babydolls and t-backs; they had a hefty stank of sweat and vagina grease. Making a mental note to wash them whenever Nolan wasn't around, I shoved them deep into a plastic bag.
The day shift had ended, and my fellow dancers and I were changing clothes. I felt unusually social and was chatting with Melody.
"Are you headed home?" I asked. I pulled on my blue jeans, relishing the familiar feel of tough, sturdy fabric. Not at all flimsy like a babydoll.
"Nah, I'm going to the White Crest Seniors home," she replied. She swiped a brush through her hair a couple of times.
"Are you visiting someone?"
"No, I work the night shift there." She tossed her brush back into her locker and began packing a duffle bag.
My mind did a double-take.
"You mean you dance all day here, then go work somewhere else?" I marveled at her capacity for work. I couldn't imagine dancing all day, dealing with customers, then taking care of elderly folks. "Do you like it?" I pulled my favorite T-shirt over my head, the one with an image of Faranheit 451, soft from so many washings and my favorite shade of purple.
"Yeah, actually, I love it. The seniors are actually pretty nice once you get to know them. I'm doing this, because I want to buy my house in cash. I've already paid off two cars and I'm about halfway to the house." She slipped on some scrubs.
Two cars in cash? She must budget like a champ. My admiration bloomed.
"But working in the seniors' home, that's what you really want to do?" I followed up.
"Yeah, I like taking care of someone who can't do much by themselves. They have so many stories to tell, and they'll talk for as long as you're willing to listen."
I nodded, shut the door to my locker, and twisted the lock. After spending an entire day with strangers, my boyfriend was the only one I wanted to see.
"Well, see you around," she said and left.
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