章節 10: Chapter 10
I was half awake because I felt someone hugging me.
“Shhh” he whispered.
“Let me hug you wife. I miss you. I miss my sweet and caring wife.” He said while hugging me tightly.
I just let him be.
After that night, I became cold and distant. We haven't made love -- or I should say sex since then.
I didn’t know why but I suddenly become so cold and aloof.
I can’t force myself to act as if everything is okay because we both know that it's not. That’s why I chose to be cold and distant.
He always tries to approach me but I just can't. If I can just leave him I already did it. But I can’t. We are married couple, so I need to stick with him.
He always assures me that he doesn’t have a relationship with Jana. But I always cut him off.
I don't know why I don't want to hear his explanation. Maybe I'm just so tired of hearing lies and being deceived again.
“Please comeback to me hon. Please.” He asked softly.
I felt his lips on my shoulder. He's kissing it like he always did.
“Please. Wife please comeback.”
I felt my tears are coming out. I tried to control it but I can't.
He made me face him. He wiped my tears and kiss my eyes.
“Don't cry hon. Let’s reconcile please.” He keeps on kissing me on my eyes, forehead, cheeks, jaw and lips.
He kissed me with gentleness and love.
Love?
Impossible!
I stop thinking and just let him do whatever he wants.
He kissed me and I kiss him back just like what I always do.
He's slowly removing my lingerie.
I still need to fulfill my obligation to him right?
So I let him own my body tonight, as my obligation as his wife.
***
I woke up next to him. Still undress and him hugging me.
I took that opportunity to look at his face, his eyes, nose and lips.
I feel kind of pity because of this marriage. I just hope that we are a normal couple. That we are in love with each other.
But we’re not.
I pity him. They both love each other but because of business, he can't be with the one he loves.
Maybe I should help him right?
I felt his hug tighten.
“Good morning wife!” He greeted me still eyes close.
I tried to remove his hand, but he just tightened his hug on me. He even pressed down his face to kiss my neck.
“Let’s just stay like this for more minutes hon please.” He said.
“We are going to be late for work.” I reminded him.
“We are on leave today.” He said lazily.
I slightly push him. “What are you saying? We need to go now because we are running late.”
He faced me. “I told you we're on leave.”
“Maybe you. But I am not. I have so much on my plate.”
I saw him smirk. “I already advise your office that you won't make it to work today.”
My eyes widen. “What did you say?!”
“Hon please we need this okay? We need to fix our problem. I miss my wife.” He said in a serious but soft voice.
“We are always together. And we don’t have a problem.” I persisted.
“Really? Then why are you becoming distant and cold?” He asked.
“I'm always like this. I'm named in our campus as Mara the Ice Princess remember? So its just normal.”
“That's how they named you. But not me. For me, you are the sweetest and the most beautiful wife. And I really miss my wife.” He said kind of frustrated.
“Hon please believe. There’s no truth in dad’a accusation.”
“I told you Maru I don-”
“No your not Mara! Can we stop fooling ourselves! You will not act like that if you don’t really care!” His voice raised a little.
“Please Mara let’s fix this. Hmm?” He said begging me.
I just look at him.
He let a heavy sighed. “Please hear me. I don’t have a relationship with Jana. When the time that my dad ask me to break up with her, I did it. And I never reconcile or went back to her because I already have a wife, and that is you.”
“We married for business Maru.” I reminded him.
“Yes. But haven't you thought that maybe we can work this out?”
I look away.
“You did right? But I know that you are now having doubts because of what you heard last week.”
“She was hired by the company and not me. She's from a different department. I will be a hypocrite if I told you that we never talk, because we did. We're still friends you know? And I told you that I don't have plan to make her my mistress because she doesn't deserve to be treated that way. So I will not do it. Rest assured that I will be faithful to you hon.”
I don't know why I don't feel comforted by his word. Instead, I felt pain in my chest.
He didn’t make Jana his mistress because she cares for her and not because of me.
I should be happy because he's assuring me of his faithfulness in this relationship, but still I am not happy.
But I need to end this conversation that's why I answered him.
“Okay.”
And I saw relief in his eyes.
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