/ Fantasy / Birth of The Free Bird
摘要
“Do you still have my coin?” Asked Edmond in a low voice.
Finch nodded. “It’s here.” She lifted her free hand and opened her fist, showing Edmond the coin that he gave her last night. The coin that she used as her marker during the game.
“You have to keep it. We’ll play again soon.” Edmond promised.
Finch nodded happily. Her smile broadened as she heard Edmond’s promise. “I’ll be waiting for you Edmond.”
“I’ll come back for you.” He vowed.
In the land of Easton, a few boys from the village started to visit the forest, after being encountered with a girl whose whole life was spent inside the forest. As they built friendship between them, the forest had turned into nothing but their new playground. Curiosity led to dangerous exploration, revealing the hidden secrets that were almost forgotten.
When the news about the girl in the forest was heard by the Mayor, a hunt began.
There was one thing that the girl was forbidden to do: never stepping out of the forest. As people started to look for her, would she be able to escape from them? Above of all, would she be able to save her dear friends?
Who knew that the action of those innocent children would cause so many deaths in the land.
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21評論
4.73
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寫檢討
The start is really good,the greatest strength of the author is not allowing the reader to get distracted as it keeps engaging one's anticipatory potential...keep writing
I haven't finished the story yet but I can say that the story was well written. It has an amazing plot and the story develops just fine. I like how the author narrates the story for not all his/her words are common. The only thing that needs editing is the description. The story's description is not that thrilling (for me). I advice you add some questions that may awaken the readers' curiosity. But overall, the story's good.
I just started reading the book, and I'm so hooked.. The plot is so interesting, each chapter lead to a new mysterious path .. So in love with this so far ❤
Dark, mysterious, unpredictable, suspenseful and full of cliffhanger! This book would glue you to the screen. It’s not a romance at all, so don’t expect any romantic scenes but the story line is absolutely thrilling and beyond interesting. Absolutely recommended!
But you're so talented, how do you only have 6k views?! I'm literally reading through the thing, trying to nitpick at something, so I can put it in the review, but the things you write are better than every other novel this site would ever produce. I hope you can finish the novel and send it to a publisher.
hey hey hey. here's your review: First off? The prologue. I absolutely love the opening paragraph. It just packs the right 'oomph', and not 'oomph' as in the cold open or 'haha gun go pew pew'. It fits thematically (which is something I'll be addressing in the next few paragraphs), and the description of the bird in question is very vivid. Forget just the first paragraph. Language aside, the entire prologue flows smoothly, and its sequence of events are woven together in a natural way. The death of the bird could be handled slightly better, but I get the intent behind it and that's all that really matters for now. There are a few anachronisms though. It's just the vitamin D thing - according to your synopsis, it takes place in the 1800s, but the first vitamin was discovered in 1912 (correct me if I'm wrong). It's a small issue and doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but I gotta pad this review out somewhat, eh? Again - I've mentioned this, like, two times in my past reviews. Writing good dialogue is the quickest way to get my interest, and you've written some pretty great dialogue here. Feels like actual, living kids are talking in chapter 2. The setting they're in fits as well - it gives off the vibe of this really rustic and quaint European town somewhere in the 1800s, which I gather is precisely what you were going for. Well done. That's my review. I hope it helped you out!
Honestly, the book is promising for those who love mystery and dark stories, I think. I like the way you didn't put a lot of information on the first few chapters. Keep up the good work author!
It starts very nicely and the end definitely intruigs you to read more. The writing style seems very nice in the first chapters and the theme is intresting. Good job!
Lovely cover page! The title is excellent (I know how difficult is to create a titile that inkston would accept, etc...). It makes me inquisitive... about the content. That's a big part of success as writers say. From the synopisis looks that you have an attractive idea. That's another (bigggg) plus for you. The first thing, I noticed while reading your story, was the language. Good one! You don't struggle, like most of us (not english speaking) with tenses, style or grammar. I like the way you describe things, places, etc... it's so easy to read and it's a pleasue to do that. The storyline is interesting, characters are expressive. You're doing great job!
A fascinatingly dark, mystery novel filled to the brim with intrigue and a well-thought out plot. Added to library immediately. One of the things I would like to say is my emotions got influenced just by reading this, which rarely happens. Usually my emotions would only get stirred up by comedy novels, but I felt a strange sense of attachment to this one, spurring me to read more than I would have. There are a few, consistent grammar errors, namely run-on sentences as well as misspelled verbs in wrong tenses. I tried to point out a few, but if you could comb through it later and correct most of it, I would be happy to change my review to 5 stars ! All in all, I would definitely recommend this book ! So keep up the hard work, Author !
I love magic and romance in one book . Lol. Just read the first chapters and I'm loving it. I think I'm really going to enjoy reading this. Keep up the good work author. 👍
I really like how this story is written, I haven't seen a lot of novels like this one. The way it's written stands out to me. Great job author! Keep it up! :)
What a story! I was absolutely thrilled and fascinated. The forest and the girl really hooked me into oblivion. Great work! The plot is well maintained. Can’t wait to read more.
A very well narrated story of adventure fantasy. This is a good book with a lot of potential. The characters are unique and loveable. So flowing and amazing.
I love the premise of the story. It is narrated very well. Dark but innocent. What an adventure. Finch is my favourite character! This would appeal to YA readers. Well done.
Cliffhanger! The story blew my mind. An amazing story that sucked me into a world of such imagination. The plot is flowing perfectly. Highly recommend!
What a wonderful novel! It was a nice reading experience for me. Having a long chapter was great! I have seen typos but it will be corrected if you proofread it. The narration was splendid and I enjoyed it. Gotta review it with five stars! Kudos author!
Hey author! I hope everything is going great for you. ✨I read your book and by far it’s one of the greatest works I’ve read here on Webnovel. I loved all the complexity in your characters and the way you set up your scenes. I think you are an amazing writer. 😍 You have such a way with words, and I love your writing style. Literally cannot wait to read more! If you ever have any free time, you should check out my new novel UnderHerSkin. I think you would really enjoy reading it. But if you don’t have time, I totally understand! Best of luck reading & writing!! This message turned out longer than I thought, but have a wonderful day!!!❤️❤️❤️
A wonderful, gripping and fascinating story! I’m absolutely hooked. This story reminds me of the Lord of The Flies. The characters and the plot are well developed! You just earned yourself a new fan! Well done, author!