章節 76: 72
Shogo tweaked the bird call. It was the third time. The rain was now lightening up, and the drops falling off the edge of the roof became less frequent. The time was already past 5 p.m. After he heard the same bird sound four times Shuya managed to join up with Noriko and Shogo. But that was because he had some idea of their location. It could take Hiroki longer to find them since he didn't have that information.
Shogo returned under the roof and lit a Wild Seven.
He blew out smoke and asked out of the blue, "Where do you want to go?" Shuya looked at Shogo, who was sitting on the other side of Noriko. Shogo turned towards him.
"I forgot to mention it, but I have a connection. Once we get out of here we can stay there for the time being."
"Who's that?" Shuya asked and Shogo nodded.
"A friend of my dad's," he continued. "He'll see to it that you get out of this country… I'm assuming you'll want to do that. You'll get killed if you stay in this country. You'll be hunted down like rats."
"Escape the country…" Noriko said, surprised. "We can really do that?" Shuya also asked, "Who's this friend of your father's?"
Shogo looked at them, as if considering something as he held the cigarette to his mouth with his left hand. He removed the cigarette from his mouth and said, "Right now isn't a good time to tell you." Then he continued, "In case we end up splitting up during our escape it'd be bad if either of you get caught and share our plans with the government. It's not that I don't trust you. But once they torture you, you'll eventually end up confessing. So I'll be in charge of getting us there." Shuya thought about it and then nodded. It seemed like he was making the right call.
"But…let's see," Shogo said. He bit his cigarette and pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. It looked like the sheet on which they'd all written that statement, "We shall kill each other." Shogo tore it in two and then scribbled onto both pieces. He folded them up neatly and offered one to Shuya and the other to Noriko.
"What's this?" Shuya asked and began opening it up.
Shogo stopped him, saying, "Hold on. Don't look at it now. It's our contact method, just in any case. The time and locations are written on it. Go to that place and time every day. I'll do my best to get there too."
"We can't look at it now?" Noriko asked.
"Nope," Shogo said. "Look at it only in case we end up splitting up. In other words…your note and Shuya's have different information. It's best you two don't know what's on each other's note. Just in case one of you gets caught."
Shuya and Noriko looked at each other. Then Shuya turned to Shogo. "I'm going to be with Noriko no matter what."
"I know I know," Shogo grinned wryly, "but we can't rule out the possibility you might get separated again, like you were when Kazuo attacked us."
Shuya pursed his lips and looked over at Shogo…but ended up nodding. He exchanged glances with Noriko and put away the memo. So did Noriko.
It was true. Anything could happen. Escaping this island in the first place was going to be incredibly difficult. But if that were the case then shouldn't he and Noriko also come up with their own place and time to meet? Without telling Shogo? Then again, if Shogo ended up getting caught by the government then their situation would be hopeless anyway.
Shogo asked, "So…where do you want to go?"
Shuya recalled how Shogo wanted to know their ideal destinations once they fled the country. He folded his arms and thought about it. Then he said, "It'd have to be America. It's where rock came from. I always wanted to go there, at least once." He thought, I didn't think I'd be escaping there, though.
"I see." Shogo nodded. "What about you, Noriko?"
"I don't really have anywhere in mind but…" Noriko said and glanced over at Shuya. Shuya nodded back. "Let's go together. All right?"
"Oh…" Noriko's eyes opened wide. Then she formed a smile and nodded. "Sure, if you're all right with that."
Shogo smiled. He took another drag from his cigarette and asked, "What will you do once you get there?"
Shuya thought about it. Then he answered with a grin, "I'll be busking with my guitar. At least I'll make some change."
Shogo chuckled, "Huh." Then he said, "You best be a rocker. You're talented. From what I hear, in that country the odds aren't stacked so high against you even if you're an immigrant or exile." Shuya took a deep breath and gave him a skeptical grin. "I'm not that talented. I don't have what it takes to be a pro."
"I don't know about that."
Shogo smiled and shook his head. Then he looked over at Noriko. "What about you, Noriko? Anything you want to do?"
Noriko pursed her lips. Then she said, "I've always wanted to be a teacher." Her reply caught Shuya by surprise since he'd never heard about it. He exclaimed, "Really?" Noriko turned to look at Shuya and nodded.
Shuya continued, "You wanted to be a teacher in this lousy country?" Noriko grimaced, "There are good teachers too. I…that's right," she looked down and continued, "I thought Mr. Hayashida was a good teacher."
It had been a while since Shuya recalled the corpse of Mr. Hayashida, whose head was half crushed.
"Dragonfly" died for their sake.
"…you're right," Shuya agreed.
Shogo said, "It might be difficult to become a teacher as an exile. But you might be able do research at some university. Ironically enough, the rest of the world seems very interested in this country. Then you might be able to teach." He continued staring ahead, then tossed his cigarette butt into the puddle by his feet. He put another cigarette in his mouth and lit it. He continued, "So you should go for it, both of you. Be what you want to be. Follow your heart and give it your best shot." Shuya thought what he said was kind of cool. Follow your heart. Do your best. The way the late Shinji Mimura would also say something sometimes that hit the mark.
Then he realized something.
"What about you?" He asked anxiously, "What are you going to do?" Shogo shrugged his shoulders. "I told you. It's payback time against this country. No, that's not it. They owe me, and they're going to pay me back. No matter what. I can't join you guys."
"No…" Noriko said with anguish.
Shuya responded differently, though. He clenched his teeth and said, "Let me join you." Shogo looked at Shuya for a moment…then he looked down and dismissively shook his head. "Don't be stupid."
"Why not?"
Shuya said insistently. "You're not the only one with a grudge against this fucking country."
"That's right," Noriko insisted. Her response surprised Shuya. Noriko looked at Shogo and continued,
"We'll do it together."
Shogo looked at them. He heaved a deep sigh. He looked up and said, "Look. I think I told you before that this country might be fucked up, but it's well run. It's almost impossible to take it down. No, I'd say it's absolutely impossible right now, but I…" He turned around and then looked beyond the roof at the sky turning white from the receding rain. Then he looked back at them. "To use a cliche, I just want to take a stab at it. I'm getting back at them. I'm only doing it for my own sake, which isn't such a bad thing." He stopped and then said, "No, it's not bad at all."
"So then—" Shuya said but Shogo interrupted him, raising his hand.
"I'm not done."
Shuya shut up and let him speak.
"I'm saying you'll die if you join me. You just said you're going to be with Noriko. Which means…" He looked at Noriko. Then he looked back at Shuya. "You still have Noriko. You protect her, Shuya. If she's in danger then fight for her. Whether your assailant's a burglar, the fucking Republic of Greater East Asia, or an extraterrestrial alien." Then he turned to Noriko and said kindly, "You too. You still have Shuya, right? Protect him, Noriko. It's foolish to die pointlessly." Then he looked at Shuya again. "You understand? There's nothing left for me. So I'm just doing it for my sake. It's different for you guys." The last statement sounded adamant. He checked his watch, tossed another cigarette into the puddle, got up and went out from under the roof. The chirping bird call rang out.
As he listened Shuya recalled a song by a mainland Chinese rocker that went: "Perhaps you are saying/You love me even though I have nothing at all."
But what did Shogo mean when he said he had nothing?—
After tweaking the bird call for exactly fifteen seconds, Shogo went back underneath the roof and sat down.
Noriko asked Shogo, gently, "Don't you have someone you care about?" That's right. That's what he wanted to ask too.
Shogo opened his eyes and then forced a grin. "I wasn't planning on telling you, but…" he said and then took a deep breath. He continued, "No, maybe I did want to tell you." He reached behind for his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He removed a photo with frayed edges.
Noriko took it. She and Shuya looked at it.
The photo included Shogo. He was wearing a school coat, and his hair was as long as Shuya's. He was smiling, wearing a bashful smile that was hard to imagine on him now. And on his left was a girl in a sailor suit uniform. Her black hair was bundled over her right shoulder. She looked assertive, but her smile was incredibly charming too. In the background were a road, gingko-like trees, a whiskey billboard ad, and a yellow car.
"She's beautiful…" Noriko exclaimed.
Shogo rubbed the tip of his nose. "Really? She's not what you'd call typically beautiful, but I always thought she was pretty."
Noriko shook her head. "Well, I think she's very pretty and very…mature looking. Is she the same age as you?"
Shogo broke into a bashful grin that was reminiscent of the one he wore in the photo. "Yeah. Thanks." Shuya gazed at the two smiling faces next to each other in the photo and thought, hey, what do you mean you have nothing? But Shuya had overlooked something crucial.
"So is she in Kobe?" Shuya asked and then Shogo grimaced. He shook his head and said, "Remember, Shuya? I played this fucking game once before. And I was the 'winner.'" That was when Shuya realized. And Noriko probably did too. Her face stiffened. Shogo continued, "She was in my class. I wasn't able to save Keiko." They fell silent. Shuya finally felt he could truly understand Shogo's anger, the sheer depth of it.
"So you see now," Shogo said, "I really have nothing. And it's payback time against this country for killing Keiko." Shogo put another cigarette in his mouth and lit it. Smoke drifted by.
"So her name was Keiko," Shuya finally asked.
"Yeah," Shogo gave several small nods."'Kei' means 'joy.' " Shuya realized it was same kanji character as the first character to Yoshitoki's name.
"Were you…" Noriko gently asked, "…with her until the very end?" Shogo smoked silently. After a while he replied, "That's a hard one to answer." He continued, "Her last name was Onuki. The roll call started with No. 17 in that game. Whatever. Anyway, Keiko's number came before mine, so she left three numbers before me."
Shuya and Noriko listened quietly.
"I thought…she might be waiting for me somewhere near the departure point. She just might be. But she wasn't there. I mean it couldn't be helped. Just like with this current game. It was dangerous to hang around the departure point." He took a drag from his cigarette and exhaled. "But I finally found her. The game took place on an island like this one, but I found her." He took another drag and exhaled. Then he continued, "But she ran away."
Shuya was shocked. He looked at Shogo. His stubbly face remained calm. It seemed like he was doing his best to restrain his emotions.
"I tried chasing her…but I was attacked by someone else. I managed to kill that person…but I ended up losing sight of her."
He took another drag and then exhaled.
"Keiko couldn't trust me."
He still wore his poker face, but there was a tense look in his eyes.
He continued, "But I still looked for her. The next time I found her…she was dead." Shuya understood. Once he was back here Shuya had told them about Yukie Utsumi's group and observed, "It's so hard to…trust someone," to which Shogo responded by saying, "Yes, it is…It's very…hard." Shuya now saw why Shogo looked so uneasy then. He also understood why Shogo said Hiroki might have found Kotohiki dead, or that she might not necessarily trust him.
"You asked me, Shuya," Shogo said. Shuya looked up. "Why I trusted you guys, when we first met, right?"
"Yeah." Shuya nodded. "I did."
"And I believe I said you two made a nice couple," Shogo said and glanced up at the roof. By the time he lowered his eyes, the tension in his cheeks was gone. "It's true. That's how you two looked. So I decided I wanted to help you guys out, unconditionally."
"Uh huh." Shuya nodded.
After a while Noriko said, "I bet…" Shuya looked over at Noriko, who continued, "…she was just terrified… and confused."
"No." Shogo shook his head. "I…1 really loved Keiko. But there must have something about the way I treated her when we were going out. That's what I think it came down to."
"That's so wrong," Shuya adamantly insisted.
Shogo looked over at him, his arms folded over his pulled-up knees. The smoke from the cigarette in his hands drifted up gently like silk.
"There was a misunderstanding. A small misunderstanding, I'm sure. Given how fucked up this game is. The odds were against you. That's what it really came down to, right?" Shogo grimaced wryly again and only replied, "I don't know. I'll never know." Then he tossed his cigarette into the puddle and took out the bird call from his pocket. "This…" he said, "…unlike most city kids, Keiko loved to go on mountain walks. The Sunday after the week that fucking game happened she was supposed to take me bird watching." He raised the bird call between his right thumb and index finger up to his eyes and examined it as if it were a jewel. "She gave this to me." He smiled and looked at Shuya and Noriko. "This is the only thing I have left of hers. It's my lucky charm...Didn't bring much luck, I guess."
As he put it away, Noriko returned the photo. Shogo put it back in his wallet, which he tucked into his back pocket.
Noriko said, "Hey, Shogo." Shogo looked up at her. "I don't know how Keiko felt at the time. But…" She flicked her tongue against her lips to moisten them. "But I think Keiko loved you in her own way. She had to…I mean, she looks so happy in that photo. Don't you think?"
"Yeah?"
"Of course, she did." Noriko nodded. "And if I were Keiko…I would want you to live. I wouldn't want you to die for me."
Shogo grinned and shook his head. "Well, that's just a difference in opinion."
"But," Noriko insisted, "please take it into consideration. Okay, please?" Shogo's lips moved as if he were on the verge of saying something…but then he shrugged and smiled. Sadly.
He checked his watch and went out from under the roof to tweak the bird call.
4 students remaining
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