章節 28: Chapter Eight – Always Be A Shadow
Dione Tang Says?
To my dearest Ericka.
From the upcoming Prime Minister of the People's Republic of China,
Seto Lim.
It is been a while now since I saw you last. How are you my dear? It has been seven years already since you went to America to study medicine. I apologize if I do not made it on your wedding. I wish you and Daniel all the best with your life and your career.
Anyway, regarding my life, there is nothing much to talk about, only except for one thing. I am afraid that one of these days, I will be the new appointed Prime Minister. Due to that, can you grant me a very important favor? As we all know, Shin-di already passed away on a car accident this morning. It is a shocking and very painful news. My heart is grieving for the death of my first love. Remember Xander? My ex-best friend. He stole her from me, and then what? He did not do anything to protect her. I will never forgive him because of that. I will do everything to avenge my love, unless, he will let my son to take part of that monarchy as the only memory of his mom, to whom he did not even have a chance to know.
It is really so painful to see my family being torn apart like that. If only . . . If only, we both grew up on a rich family. Not a bastard son of Seto clan just like me. Perhaps, I will be the perfect guy for her. I did everything to reached these heights, only to find her already married to someone else.
Lately this morning, she still manage to tell me that I still somewhat hold a place in her heart, and then there is that tragedy that drains everything in her heart, even her life.
How is Kent-li boy? I really love him so much and he deserves a perfect life, far from the dirty politics to where I am in. All I want is to protect his welfare. I hope someday, if by chance, that he come to the knowledge that I am his real father, he would understand my reasons. I love him. I do. However, there is still a family here to whom I serves as the foundation. Dom Yó-gi and Nina needs me. Even though she betrayed me and Dom Yó-gi is not my real son, I finally learned how to genuinely love her and no matter what, being a father is not in the blood, but in a matter of hearts. I will never forgive her but I will still keep her because I do love her, as much as I love my two sons.
Waiting for your reply . . .
Always with love,
Your Brother Lim.
P. S. In case something bad happened to me, do not forget to give this letter to Kent-li, together with the picture that was attached inside.
I gently folds the letter as I study the picture of a little boy with his father. At the back, I see neat scribbled words:
'The son of my life, 2 year old Kent-li boy and I on his birthday.'
Tears starts falling down my eyes. I still tried to hold back the tears but the pain of loss take its toll and caused me to finally burst out. All I want – all that I ever wanted is to be with him. To know how it feels like to be with my father. I used to envy Dom Yó-gi because he always have him in spite of not being his real son.
I place my hand on my chest.
I used to hate him because of letting us to be apart from each other, for denying me, for sending me away. Now that he is gone, why is it so painful?
I struggle for breathe as I holds my aching chest.
"Dione! Son!" Ma said as he rush to me and embrace me. "Son", she said again in between sobs.
"How I wish I was there . . . I wish I manage to tell him that I love him . . . that I am proud that he is my father . . . I wish I am on his side that time . . . Why is it so painful ma? Why is it so painful? I used to hate him and curse him before. Why is it so painful? It is not fair. All I longed for is his love and attention. Why it hurts so much?" I burst out as I burry my face on ma's shoulder while crying.
"It is alright son. No matter what happened, he will always love you, and no matter where he is now, he will always stays in your heart. Do not cry. You will have your Papa and Mama, my little boy . . . I love you son . . . I really am . . ."
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
But I can't find the words to say
To touch you deep inside
Can we give just one more chance?
Or let this be our last goodbye . . .
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But I believe in you and me
That sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
Praying you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That something only love can do.
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This morning, the Chinese people offers a gun salute to him while over his coffin is the flag of the People's Republic of China. All the people are still grieving. In spite of those bad things that he done unintentionally, still many are still saying that he is a good man.
I just manage to give a timid smile while I am inside my car and just watching from afar.
"Why don't you go there and make Dom Yó-gi feel that he is not alone?"
I smile as I turn to her with her face that leans close on my car window. I kiss her on the lips and smile.
She smiles too as she walks in on my car and sit on the passenger's seat beside me.
"I am happy that you still chose me over her."
I reaches for her hand.
"Actually I really miss you babe."
"Do not ever dare hurting me again okay?" Michelle said as she kiss me on the cheeks. "I love you," she said.
"I love you more," I replied.
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Ch'ing Shin-li Says?
Without minding I being soak by the water from the shower in my bathroom, I just keeps on screaming and crying as the memories keeps on coming back.
That traumatic day, the gunshots, which stole Lee-shin's life, and the day that I let go my love for Yugi.
I shakes my head
-----
"Papa, how come that I lost my memories and why did you all lied to me?!"
"After that incident, I sent you to London. To your Grandpa. However, you got into plane crash and lost y our memories."
-----
I shakes my head again as Papa's words keeps on ringing on my head.
It is not true . . . It is not true . . .
"Argggh!" I screams as I pulls my hair and taps my forehead.
"Shin-li! Daughter!" Mama said as she rush to me. "Do not do this to yourself my daughter," she utters in between sobs as she embrace me.
"I hate you . . . All of you . . . You lied to me . . ."
"Shhh . . . I know . . . But I love you . . ."
"No! If you love me, you will never do this to me! You always kept me in the dark. You liar. You do not love me!"
We just stay there while crying together. Even it hurts so much; still, I do not know how it is to truly hate my family, because I still love them.
~
"Lady Shin-li, we are here," Dylan said as he opens the door of our car. I turn to Mama Xiao Fan.
"Go now, my lady," she said with a smile as she nods at me. "Dom Yó-gi needs your company."
I embrace her. "Thank you," I said then head inside the lobby of the house of the Prime Minister where the burial is.
As I walks in, everyone became silent. They just throws me a critic and degrading stares. While some, have their surprise and agonizing look, full of sadness and anger.
I am not surprise. It is all in the news. They are all blaming my family for the death of their beloved Prime Minister.
I just continue on walking then I spotted him there, standing at the front, beside his father's coffin.
"I am sorry," I said as I go beside him then reaches for his hand. "I am so sorry. My condolences."
The thing that I do not expect the most is when he turn to me with that painful stare. His teary-stained eyes is full of madness, pain, disbelief, and disappointment.
"You do not belong here. Stay away," he said in a low voice as he freed his hand from mine then he never dare looking at me again.
I holds back the tears as I still manage to say, "But then, I am still sorry," then I steps back, away from him as tears starts falling from my eyes. I bit my lower lip as I head outside.
Then the people throws me water bottles, plastic cups, paper cups and eggs, all in my direction.
"You are criminal! You and your family!"
"You killed the Prime Minister!"
���You bitch!"
It really hurts so much. It is so painful being driven away by people and being hated by everyone.
I just give silent sobs and stay there.
"I am sorry," I said while crying.
To my surprise, he rush there and embraces me.
"Did she did something bad in anyone of you?!" he ask as he shouts at them. "Did she? The last time I check, my family and I are the ones who are at loss, not you and you and you. What is wrong with all of you?! These are all about her and my family! Get off!"
Hearing those words, they all went away and left us there.
"Yugi," I said while crying like a child.
"You are stupid. Why are you apologizing to them? Are you the one who did something wrong?" he said then he wipes my tears. "I am sorry too. Do not cry now. I do not want to see you cry."
"It is my entire fault."
He shakes his head.
"Nope. It is not. We are only caught between the feuds of the two families."
"I miss you so much," I said again.
"I love you," he answered as he kiss my forehead.
I just nods at him.
"I believe you."
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Dione Tang Says?
By the time, all the grieving people finally left the place; I take the chance to take a last glance at him.
"Mr. Prime Minister, you are cruel. You hear?" I whisper in front of his coffin. "You are selfish. All these years, I always longed for your love, and yet, you do not dare grant it. Then, in spite of that, why is it still so painful to lost you. You always hunt my dreams even you are no longer here. That is when I realized that I maybe love you. You do not deserve it though. You hear that? Have you even regret it when you sent me away? Of course, you have not. I wish you all the peace that you once longed."
Saying that, I wipes away the single tear that fell from my eyes. "It is better to be like this – that they do not know that a Kent-li Seto do exist . . ."
By then, I receives a phone call from the investigation team that handles the Prime Minister's case.
"Mr. Tang, I think we already figures out something."
~
"What did you find out?" I ask the head detective by the time I get there.
"We already had a suspect from the Prime Minister's assassination"
"Who?"
"All evidences points out to Lady Xiao Fan Ch'ing, the Queen."
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