章節 15: Father of the Year!
Two events recently (6 years ago) took place in my house. Both of which are borderline sketchy but both ended well, no CPS (Child Protective Services) needed.
The first event took place early in the day yesterday (11-4-13). It had been a long day of play fighting and surprise attacks versus my two young kiddies. Finally, I decided to put an end to the senseless plastic Wolverine claw attacks once and for all. I grabbed my son up and the snatched the nearest roll of tape. I then proceeded to do one wrap around his arms and upper torso.
Once he was secured I carried him up stairs and tossed him on the bed for all to see. He rebutted with a flying kick to my coin purse, I then knew what had to be done. After another wrap of tape was secured around his ankles, I sat him up on the bed and TOLD him not move or he would fall to the ground instantly and get hurt…ok, he fell to the ground and barely bounced his head off the wall. No bruising or swelling, no troubles at all. No harm no foul right?
The second event was more of a service to my young child. Earlier in the day his sister knocked his tooth out, which was loose in the first place. We noticed that the tooth next to it was loose too so I convinced him to let me string and door knob it. For those of you that are unfamiliar with this technique, you take a piece of dental floss, tie it low around the tooth in question and then tie it to a door knob. Tell them to count to three and slam the door on the 1 count! Works like a charm. Well that's what I did last night.
The funny part was his sister's face on my first failed attempt. She looked like we had lost our minds. The things nightmares are made of. She looked like she had just witnessed a quadruple murder by someone using a rusty spoon. Sheer terror.
Being a dad is fun and worth it. I highly recommend it.
P.S. – This is all fictional.
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票