章節 2: Felix - Honesty
Normality is a paved road it's comfortable to walk on, but no flowers growing it
The truth is...
I hold true to my word even when I don't wanna do something. I'm committed and curious. Sometimes, I can be a little selfish, but no. I remember all the times I held his hand in sixth grade. I remember all of his kisses and all of his hugs. Sure, I do like them, but no. I'm not the same person I used to be and I'll never be her ever again...
We're back at Maria's house again and she seems to be doing fine. She's leaning up against her truck.
"Hey," she says in an oversized, dirty flannel, shorts with boots made for hiking.
"Hey."
"Another trip, huh?"
"Yeah, but this time, it's the girls. Yippie!" I sarcastically say waving my arms up unenthusiastically.
"You seem excited."
"Yeah, I had to deal with them all week and now Maggie won't get out of the car."
"So," she hops on the hood of her truck, "leave her."
"What, are you crazy!?' Then I add, "Heh, nice wheels. Where'd you get it?"
"David, my boyfriend."
"He's a keeper."
"Yeah, you'd know."
"Hey, hey, hey now. We don't speak of those days."
She laughs offering me a cold refreshing beer. I almost take it, "No, rehab."
"Oh, little cousin's getting mature, now?"
"No," I laugh, "I just don't wanna make a scene in front of the kids."
"How long have you been clean?"
"Two years."
"Oh, that's why at-"
I cut her off by saying, "Hey------shouldn't Maggie get out of my car. Please."
She hops off the truck and throws the empty bottle on the grass.
Donnavan carries his things into the house before me. I get out of their way. Adrian carries both his, and Daisy's, things into the house but Maria leads Daisy, the baby, inside as she takes her stuff out of his tiny little arms. "Just worry about yourself, okay?"
He nods and walks inside. "He's so mature," I add closing the door behind me.
"Yeah, he's only like, what, twelve?"
"Thirteen. I might have to borrow this binder, is that okay?"
"Beats me, you can have it," Maria indicates.
"Great it's for TéMía."
"Ooh, another nerd girl," Donnie says kicking his feet on the coffee table. I go to the kitchen to get a drink out of the fridge, but no, there's nothing but beer and grape wine. Who likes grape wine?
"Sorry, there's no water for you. Get it from the sink, fancy." She taps the back of my head causing my air pod to fall out.
"Damn," I sigh as I watch my air pod fall in the puddle of water on the floor.
"What?" Maria and Donnie ask in unison.
"I dropped my air pod in the water. Man, I paid for those."
"Oops sorry Bekiee," Maria adds.
I look at her with sympathy in my eyes, "I paid good money for those. Cost me $200!"
"Really, you can get them at cheap," Donnie says. "Look," he hops over the counter to show me. Luckily, there was nothing on the counter of he would've had to pick it up. He scrolls through his cracked phone he found in a kids locker room. Last year, he stole four phones from kids at school! This one, he found in the girls' locker room. Why is--
"I took a picture of Jamie's boobs today! They round, ni*ga!"
"Oh, god. Donnie, you're not... never mind," I sigh. "Just, just show me the air pods, please?"
"What my black friends say it!"
"You're Asian, not black."
"What's Asian?"
"Never mind," Maria, Daisy, and I say in unison.
"Here. Wal-mart thingy."
Wow, he actually found it. Reading through everything even when the screen is hard to read because of the black line in the middle. I hit pay.
"Alright, everyone, bed. Hey, Felix."
"Yeah," I say to Maria as she counts her savings on the table.
"I'm really sorry. I didn't-"
"Yeah, I know. It was just a joke. I get it. It was just for fun."
"Thanks, Felix."
What I should be saying is thank you to her. Maria's our cousin. She gave up her twenties to take care of us. Our grandparents, seventies. They gave up their lives to help us. So, to thank them, I make sure that everyone's in line, while they pay the bills, get us ready for school, and even have free nights for poker and family board game night. I was nine when that happened way before Maria and our grandparents came into the mix. My siblings, I feel like, got lucky.
I go to the boys' room. There's a bunk bed and a spear bed. Donnie's unpacking his things on the top bunk and the spear bed has Adrian's book on the spare queen-sized bed. That means I get the bottom bunk. I pull out my sleeping bag just in case. Maria walks in, "Are you guys okay?"
"Yeah," I speak for both of us. "Ade's still gone, though."
"And I can tell Don's asleep."
I look over at him, "Yeah."
We all fell asleep; silently to the pitiful sounds of gunshots and police sirens.
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