章節 10: Feelings And Mistakes
It had been 2 months since Lily decided to take off for some art internship or something. Breaking her engagement and running off across the country, it was almost like she was running away from something. Marshall was so broken up about it that he hardly left their apartment. The only thing keeping him from falling apart completely was the fact he had to keep studying and somehow graduate. If he can get through this, he can get a great job, make lots of money, and fly over to win back his Lilypad!
Ted was also equally keeping busy, what with his new project about to finish up and keeping Marshall from going AWOL again to go after Lily. He didn't have the time or energy to go to the bar or meet up with his other friends. His phone was mainly off as he needed to focus both on his friend and his career. All this running around kept Ted's mind wondering, he didn't even think about Barney or his boyfriend and what they must be doing together… Ok, maybe a few times he did but only when Ted had too much to drink with Marshall. He would come home, a bit too drunk, and go straight for his bedside table. His scent was fading but it was just enough for him. God, it was getting worse. What used to make him come in a matter of minutes was now taking an hour or so. He would go through a box of tissues each time he masturbated. He went through nearly every porno scenario with Barney in mind. This… 'thing' whatever he was feeling for Barney, was clearly not going to go away any time soon. Ted just pushed it to the back of his mind. Don't think about it. Things are already a big mess now. Just wait for later…
***
When Ted was busy with his project and not with Marshall, Robin or Barney would have their try at cheering him up. Robin took Marshall to do things that made her feel better when she was feeling upset; ie going to the gun range mostly and Barney would take him out to pick up girls to replace Lily, Ted used those moments to be around Barney. Though none of it really helped, the thought was appreciated. Even Josh would join in cheering him up and help Marshall with his studies. Though Josh didn't hang around the group, he did make an effort to speak with each of them and build a friendship, excluding Ted. This, in turn, made Barney speak to Ted less and less. They almost never hung out anymore but when they did, it was as a group at MacLaren's and he'd always try to hook Ted up with a girl. Barney often went home with women as well, mostly those meant for Marshall. If it wasn't for the fact Lily was gone, things would've seemed back to normal. Ted hated it.
He hated how his best friend was hurt so badly. He hated that Lily couldn't even explain herself and rambled on about making mistakes because of secrets. He hated how Robin helped her by driving her to the airport. Most of all, he hated how Barney and Josh seemed to have taken up the parent roles of their little group dynamic!
***
Late one night at Ted's apartment, Marshall and Ted sat on the couch and Robin sat alone on the red armchair, it was a rare moment when the three of them were together. Marshall was knocking down beers left and right. He was worse than Ted, but Ted was keeping up. Robin had just lost a big scoop on the serial date rape druggings to another reporter and was chugging down some beers as well, though not as earnest as her two male friends. Ted hadn't told Barney about meeting up at his place, despite the fact he desperately wanted him there. However, that would mean Josh would be here too. Each time he saw Barney and Josh together, holding hands and lovingly gazing into each other's eyes, Ted couldn't stand it and would have to leave early. Barney usually didn't bring Josh around Ted but lately, they've been almost inseparable. At some point, it became expectant that if you invited one, you got the other tagging along too. Thinking this, Ted knocked down two more beers, making him and Marshall tied for the amount of beers they've had. Finally, Robin had enough, though she wanted to drink more, the silence and self-pitying were really killing her vibe.
"Alright ladies, I'm gonna call it a night. Marshall, I'll see you later. Ted... try not to do something stupid. See ya."
Getting some "Yeah, yeah."s and groans as a reply, Robin made her way out. The room went back to being dead silent until Marshall's phone buzzed. Frantic, he fumbles to take it out of his pockets and takes a look only to become disappointed right after.
"Ugh, Barney wants to take me to another strip club... I'm gonna tell Josh to make him stop. I don't want another girl...I want Lily sniff..."
Ted clenched his fist tightly, why didn't Barney invite him to a strip club? Why hasn't Barney asked to go do laser tag or get tailored for a suit or fucking anything at all?! It was because of Josh! It had to be!
"Yeah well, I want Barney but we don't always get what we want, Marshall!"
...
...
Shit...
Marshall just stares at him, wide-eyed, and streaks of tears already showing on his face. Whoa... wait... he wanted Barney here?
"What? Ted, I thought you hated Barney!"
"Hate Barney? No... no I'm fucking pissed at Barney! He claims to be my best friend but when was the last time he asked me to go out to a strip club? When was the last time he asked me to hang out or go out for lunch?! He hasn't even tried to reach out and drag me into one of his stupid schemes to pick up girls! Just why does he have to date someone who's not me?!"
"...soooo you're not homophobic?"
"What! Dude, no! What the hell!? Why would you think that!!?"
Ted stood up, angry his best friend would think that about him. Marshall mimicked him and stood up too, facing Ted, now everything was confusing.
"Well, what do you expect man?! Wait, if you're not homophobic then what the hell's been going on with you?! You leave as soon as Barney and Josh show up, you never want to be around Josh and you're always glaring at Barney!"
"...I do not..."
"Oh my God, Ted yes you do! If you don't hate Barney then you're either really into him-... wait..."
There was an awkward moment of silence as Ted slumped back down onto the couch. It's all ruined now, might as well just come clean. Not like anything will change anyway...
"Okay... Yeah, I have feelings for Barney. But he's with Josh so it's not like my feelings matter. Josh is good for him..."
"Ted... Are you like Barney? That... Bye-bye birdie… Heheheh birdie?"
Ted wanted to correct his very drunk friend but his mind was on something else. Honestly, he didn't know what he was. Yeah, he still liked getting with girls and although he never thought about being with a guy, he always thought of Barney when he stroked his meat. Looking up at his friend who stood there with a stupid smile, probably thinking about the musical, he really couldn't come up with an answer.
"Sigh, I don't know. I only know that I really, really want Barney..."
Snapping his friend back to their conversation, Marshall looked at his defeated best friend since college. It could've been the alcohol talking but a sudden urge to see true love triumph and prosper overwhelmed him.
"Ted, you need to tell Barney how you feel!"
"...what?"
"Yes! You-you should go to him and tell him you love him! Barney will totally break up with Josh and be with you! Josh is like nothing compared to you!"
Ted just stared at Marshall, what the hell was he saying?
"You're joking, right? No absolutely not! No, Marshall!"
"Ted, you need to go over to Barneys and tell him you're so in love with him and he has to break up with Josh! You and Barney are so made for each other!"
Seeing Ted continue to deny and shake his head in protest, Marshall pulled him up from the couch and grabbed hold of both his shoulders. In a stern and serious voice, he sincerely continued to speak:
"Ted, the love of my life ripped my heart out and left me. If I could go back, I'd fall for her all over again, knowing she'd still leave me in the end. Don't regret losing someone who could be the one for you, even if it's a mistake! Make that mistake!"
Ted went wide-eyed... it could have been because both were pretty drunk, but that speech somehow made sense! Yeah! Ted had to tell Barney! Then they could start dating and then Lily will want to come back to congratulate them and then she and Marshall will get back together and they'll all be one big happy group of friends again! This will work! Ted, with a big grin, nodded his head.
"Okay! You're right! I have to go to Barney! Right now!"
"W-well, right now is-"
Before Marshall could point out it was nearly midnight, Ted rushed to his door... then made a U-turn towards his bedroom. He came out a moment later with a tie in his hands.
"Almost forgot this! Alright! Next time you see me, I'll be Ted Stinson-Mosby!"
"Uh, Ted I don't think-"
Once again Marshall was cut off as Ted slammed the door to his apartment.
"... I'm sure it'll be fine... Wow, but who would've guessed... man I want wings..."
***
Ted managed to make it to Barney's apartment complex even in his drunken state. Over the months of constant drinking, it seems his alcohol tolerance has increased. Along the way, Ted stopped by a 24-hour pharmacy to buy a bouquet of red roses. He wasn't sure if Barney liked red roses... in fact, Ted didn't know if Barney even liked flowers... no, it's fine! When they start dating he'll get to learn more about Barney... even though they've already known each other for a couple of years now... b-but it's fine! He'll pay more attention and definitely remember the next time he asks. The way up to Barney's apartment door felt like an eternity. Doubts started to form, Ted clutched the tie in his hand to reassure himself. This was it! After tonight, nothing will be the same again!...nothing will...
Before he could stop and think, his hand had already started knocking on the door.
"Just a second!"
... that wasn't Barney... oh shit...
Quickly, Ted threw the bouquet down the hall before the door opened. Opening the door, there was Josh who then leaned on the door frame, in a silk black bathrobe. His skin glistened with sweat, his long shoulder-length hair was pulled back into a low ponytail only some strands sticking to his face, and his breathing was rough, like he had been working out but he tried to keep it under control. It was obvious what he was in the middle of doing or rather who he was in the middle of doing...
Ted swallowed hard. Damn it... this was a mistake, his feelings were a mistake. Looking at Josh, Ted felt nothing. No desire to kiss or touch, even drunk off his ass, Ted knew he didn't like him... didn't like guys...
"Uh... Ted, right? Can I help you? It's kinda late for you to be here."
Josh spoke after a few moments of Ted just standing there. He looked like he was dazed, perhaps drunk? Josh hadn't realized Ted was such an alcoholic, maybe he should get Barney to ditch him faster. Ted's mind went blank. Shit. Why was he here? As he went to place his hand on his head to think, he realized the tie was still there. Light bulb moment!
"Uh, B-Barney! He uh, left his tie at my place a while back. I kept forgetting to give it back... so...yeah..."
"Oh, I see. Ah, just a moment."
Josh reached into his bathrobe pockets and pulled out a small remote. Clicking the up button a few times until a voice screams:
"Oh fuck! J-Josh~! Fuck! I-I'm Gonna Come! Ah~ Fuck! Ah~"
Just as soon as they heard Barney's voice, Josh quickly clicked the remote again, this time pressing the down button. With a smirk, he glares at Ted.
"Thank you for returning his tie. I'm sure he'll be very grateful to have such a considerate friend."
Josh emphasized the word friend as he grabbed the tie from Ted's still hand. As Josh closed the door, more of Barney's screams of ecstasy could be heard. Ted just stood there, his face completely red in embarrassment. Fuck! Fuck! He had never heard Barney sound like that! It was... it was... Damn! Ted looked down, his pants felt so uncomfortable and tight and...slightly wet... what the hell? What...was he feeling? Ted was so scared and confused, the only thought on his mind was getting back home! Back to his room! Where his bedside table is... but it won't be there anymore...damn it...
Teary-eyed, Ted rushes out of the apartment building, trailing behind him were rose petals he had stepped on before.
創作者的想法 
JackOH
JackOH A timeline of canon events? Whats that? ... ok look, Im like a super lazy person, and i cant pay attention to stuff or remmeber stuff...its worrying...BUT! I can remeber like some stuff thats happened in the show and I will add like things like that in the story and if I can i'll add big canon events and weddings and kids but i want this story to mainly focus on barney and teds relationship and how they come to be together and how their relationship will go. I am however too lazy to keep track of the canon events from the show and dont feel like keeping track and this is my fanfic and i do what i want. sorz if that annoys you :3 dont read if it does lolz (I'll do the best i can to at least make it make sense ;3) what if I just ended it here lololol XD how mad would yall be X3 dont worry the story continues :3
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