章節 5: CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER 5
Walking into the office with half of my hot coffee, I was ready to kick my day.
On my way to my desk, I overheard some words.
"I heard she is going out with Alex Thompson...''
"I can't believe she got him like this."
"She sure is boasting; what does he see in her anyway?"
My coworkers' gossip echoed in my head on my way to my desk.
Even though I tried to concentrate on my work, their gossip still lingered.
Sarah, my coworker, approached me.
"Emily, how are you doing?" she asked.
"Quite good," I responded
Sarah tilts her head slightly forward.
"We're all curious... Alex," she whispers.
I arch my brow.
"Curious?" I echoed.
Sarah nods.
"Yes, he is such a nice guy."
I grinned
"Alex is more than just a nice guy," I continue smiling.
The gleam in Sarah's eyes broadened.
"Spill the beans," she teaseed.
Sarah had that suspenseful look in her eyes.
"Emily. Seriously, we are all dying to know," she said impatiently.
I leaned back slightly into the chair, with a smirk stretched across my face.
"Let's just say that Alex is out of this world," I teased amusingly.
Sarah wiggled with excitement.
"Details," she insisted excitedly.
I smiled
"I don't think so. My lips are sealed, Sarah." I said to her,
At that moment, Alex walked in.
"Emily, Meeting in 10 minutes," he mentioned.
I gave him a nod.
"Okay, see you soon."
"Spill the beans later?" Sarah said in a low voice.
I blinked.
"Quite possibly." I said leaving my desk.
I gave Alex's office door a few raps.
"Come in," he bellowed.
I moved in and closed the door behind me.
Alex raised his head above the papers.
"Emily, thanks for coming," he said.
I could see warmth in his eyes.
"Of course Alex," I said.
Alex laughed
"Business or pleasure?" I enquired.
"Business, unfortunately."
Alex waved back towards the seat.
"Please, have a seat."
I occupied a sitting position.
"The Smith account?" I asked
"Yes. About the marketing strategy, they seem to have some concerns," Alex explained.
I grabbed my pen and notebook.
"Ready to address them," I said.
Alex relaxed his head in affirmation.
"I know you are."
A staredown ensued between us; for one split second, the line that separates work from casual met us.
Memories of the rooftop dinner messed with my mind.
I coughed
"Let us take it one step at a time: the relevant goals."
We both engage in affirmative gestures to signal that the subject is appropriate.
Alex agrees and nods
"Alright then?"
"Let us pick up from where we stopped," he said as we started reviewing the Smith account.
Alex's leg skimmed mine as we moved over the Smith account.
My focus faltered.
The memories of that intimate night came rushing back to me.
I coughed.
"Pardon me, please," I said, whispering.
Alex lifts his gaze.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
There was bewilderment tucked behind his gaze.
I replied with a nice calm frame. "I am okay, yes."
But I'm not fine. My heart raced. Desire sparked.
It is certainly an expression of passion that swelled inside me.
I shifted in my seat.
"Let's focus on the strategy," Alex suggests.
I nodded my head.
"Right."
However, a thicker coating of anxiety and tension filled the room.
The atmosphere became charged.
While looking at the documents, I couldn't stop looking at Alex's lips.
I willingly drew closer.
Alex noticed me advancing.
He raised his head to meet my gaze.
Our faces were closely apart.
I kissed him lightly.
But instead of reciprocating, Alex pulled back.
"Emily no," he said firmly.
His hands tried to keep me from getting any closer.
"I'm your boss," he reminded
"And this is inappropriate." He said
My face burns. Embarrassment and rejection.
I felt as if the world was on fire inside me.
I felt ashamed and rejected.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled barely.
Alex's expression softened.
"Emily, I care about you, and I think we made a mistake that night, but we can't continue this."
As he continued speaking, I felt anger building up inside.
"I want to work with you, so we have to maintain boundaries."
I nodded firmly.
Having emotions under control
I expelled air out of my lungs after they had threatened to burst.
I tried to assert myself; I felt humiliated and embarrassed.
Very calmly and respectfully, "Actually, yes, you are right." isaid
Forcing professionalism.
"Now focus is on the Smith account."
Alex's expression eases.
"Thank you, Emily," he said.
We refocus on the documents.
After the meeting, Alex walked me out.
"Emily, I'm sorry," he says.
"No need," I reply.
"Boundaries are important."
Alex looks at me.
"I value our relationship."
"Me too," I said as I stormed out of his office.
As I walk out of Alex's office, a nagging feeling settles in.
I thought our connection was real.
But now, I wonder.
Was I just a convenience?
A distraction from his stress?
Did he use me for his pleasure?
My heart aches.
I replay our moments together.
I analyzed all those junctures in our lives.
The dinner and the date.
The fiery evenings.
The promises were made quietly at fingers' ends.
Were they all just a ruse to get under my pants?
I felt cheap, useless, and a waste.
I felt tears tracing their lines in my soul. I scroll them up.
"No, Emily. Don't be weak. Admit that you knew the risks before getting involved."
He was above me in the hierarchy, and there is no way he would settle for me.
The sense of being shed away is the most overwhelming sensation.
For the next few days, I put on hold all my skeptical thoughts and squared my attention to work.
I use professionalism as a sword and shield; I immerse myself in work.
Completed projects and met deadlines on time.
And achieved far more than what was required.
I exchange words with Alex in a formal tone.
No more flirting eye contacts, no more promises, and sweet nothing. Just colleagues worked up over work.
At work-related discussions, I take the seat opposite him.
Concentrating on the matters at hand.
Not his glaring eyes, A look, a laugh, a few moments in the past.
But I resolved myself. No attachments. Only survival.
One night, Alex came and stood in front of me.
'Emily, can I walk you out?' He said calmly
I nodded my head.
We walked in silence. As we exited, he looked at me.
'Emily, I... '
Hesitates.
'Don't want to sound creepy, but I appreciate the way we work together.'
'Same here,' I say.
No emotions exposed
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