章節 5: ' The ugly truth'. Chapter 5
YunHee felt numbed. Her son's statement made stand stone, her blood boil, sending shivers all over her body.
' Oh dear God! What have I done wrong?' she thought, slowly twirling to face her crying brat.
" Would you mind repeating that... again?" Perhaps she misunderstood or misheard.
Taehyung met her shocked gaze. His hands became fists but it was too late to back down." I'm in love with him....I love Kookie."
Dizziness and fever was the two strong emotions flooding the woman. She felt her body burning.Seeking support,her hands searched for something to hold on to.
" I need to...sit..." Slowly, she sat back on her chair, grabbed the coffee pot , pouring some more coffee in her cup, spilling a couple of drops on the table.With trembling hands, she took a few sips and cleared her throat.
" Repeat that please..." she asked again.
Taehyung rolled his eyes, puffing." Why? You heard me, mama." he protested. Why was it so hard to digest? Ok he fucked up, big time! But he acknowledged his mistakes and true feelings for the boy. Everyone deserved a second chance.
" I was kind of hoping I didn't." YunHee blew out. She was lost for words. She'd prefer thinking it was a nasty joke. As her frozen brain was struggling to process his words Taehyung felt insulted by her attitude.
" Why can't I be in love with a man? Love is love. Regardless of gender. I know it's confusing because so far I have only dated girls but he fills the emptiness I carry for years.My heart beats for him. Knows the truth of my emotions. Understands the depths of my need for him...I love him."
The woman gave him a sideway glance, placing her cup on the table.
" Is that what you think? That I object to you loving a man? You believe I'm so regressive I can't accept my son being with another man? For your information, I have plenty of gay friends that I love and support. Plus I'm not one of those old fashioned mums who demand heirs to continue the family name. I couldn't care less!"
" Then why are you acting so insulted?" He was highly offended by his mother 's reaction. He grasped her disappointment and anger at his actions but expected some sort of understanding to his drama.
" FOR GOD'S SAKE TAEHYUNG! HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU LOVE THE BOY YOU BULLIED FOR FOUR YEARS? BEAT AND NEARLY RAPE? ARE YOU CRAZY? MENTALLY ILL?" She raised her hands in the air." You'll be the death of me! I give up... I don't know how to handle your madness. It's absurd... ridiculous... Have you considered how you'll face that poor boy, whose life you made hell? How will you approach and confess your....your love? What sort of crazy excuses will you tell him for leaving him at the mercy of your twisted friends and you? Ha? You didn't stop them. Help him. You let them abuse and beat him. Made fun of him because he was different...ugly..."
" Kookie isn't ugly! He is the most beautiful boy in the whole world! I just couldn't see it!" Tae spoke in confidence, defending his angel. Because Kookie was his angel sent from above to show him the right path. The importance of being righteous and fair.Make him fall in love for the first time. And he wasn't ready or willing to give up. Surrender without a fight. He would earn his forgiveness and make him fall in love with him,as crazy as it sounded.
YunHee shut her eyes, breathing with extreme difficulty, in desperate need of air." You should have thought that before attacking him! Yoongi won't let you near him. His parents must be furious with you for sending their son to hospital. You're a red flag! Not to mention, the boy must hate your guts for what you put him through. Who can blame him? No! No! Absolutely not! You won't do anything! You won't go near him!Do you hear me? I forbid you to mess up his life with your nonsense!" she instructed him strictly, banging both hands on the table.
She expected Taehyung to protest. Shout. Curse. She definitely didn't expect what followed.
Taehyung run to her, knelt , holding her hand, squeezing it tight. His eyes were filled with tears." Mama I'm sorry... I messed up...hurt the people who loved me...hurt him... I was such a fool to reject my own feelings...so blind to understand my love ....for Kookie...betray your trust....turn into a monster....but I will make amends... apologise...beg... implore... whatever it takes to win him... please mama... please help me...I love him so much...I need him...mama I'll die... without him..." His forehead touched her hand, wrapping him in a familiar warmth. Drops of tears stained her knuckles making her realise he was indeed crying. Taehyung hadn't shed a tear in years... not since he was ten.
The stinging pain in his heart was excruciating and his hot tears falling on his mother 's hand, breaking her heart. Stooping over, she tried to caress his hair but held back. He hadn't taught his lesson yet so she refused to show lenience. Instead she lifted his jaw, stared at his swollen, teary eyes and asked.
" Do you really love him?"
" Yes, mama... I'm crazy about him...I love him with all my heart." he answered sincerely." Please...help me find him..."
YunHee pushed him aside, got up and said before walking away." I can't deal with you right now...We'll talk later." She was completely unprepared to give him a suitable response ,not to mention the conflict inside her, confused her to a great extent.
Once again he was left alone. Broken.
His loneliness seemed so intensely vivid.
He couldn't find comfort in anything. The solitude, darkness and deafening silence of his room fitted his current mood. He returned there ,searching in his drawer for the only thing he had from him. A picture he had accidentally taken at an excursion at the Modern Museum of Art last year. He brushed his fingers on the photo, showing Kookie admiring a set of paintings. The side angle of the picture didn't allow him to see nothing more than part of his eyes but it was enough. Tears vented down his tired, pale face , kissing it a few times.
" You're so beautiful angel...so damn beautiful you take my breath away..." He held it on his heart as if he was cuddling him. And he slept. Dreaming about his angel...
____
Seojoon stopped by, to keep him company but his cousin's awful state made him feel helpless. Tae was worse than he anticipated, drowning in guilt and depression.
"Tae...how about going out? " he suggested, pretty sure of the answer.
"Don't feel like it ."
" Want to watch a movie? The new James Bond is out."
" No."
" Play video games? Give me a to beat you for once!" He knew Tae's love for them. They would spent hours playing since they were ten.
" No." Leaning against the headboard, one leg stretched, the other bend, his gaze was empty. Held no emotion. Indifferent and distant. Nothing mattered without Kookie. What was the point of living if the one you love hates you? Thinks the worst for you? Taehyung blamed only his immaturity and unbelievable stupidity. He rubbed his forehead, sighing.
That scared the shit out of Seojoon. He had seen it before but this time it was more intense. " Come on... let's do something... anything to.."
" Back off! Leave me the fuck alone!" Tae's growl was enough to make Seojoon flinch but didn't lay off. Remaining still in his position he made one last attempt to reason with him.
" He will...forgive us... eventually. When it happens we can put the past behind us and move on. Stop blaming yourself. You'll get sick and what good will that do? Please Tae let's go for a walk. It will take your mind off things."
Taehyung ruffled his hair, ready to explode at any minute. Thinking his cousin took the situation too lighty he burst." GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM! LEAVE ME ALONE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? DON'T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY.GET OUT!"
___
Seojoon, not wanting to irritate him further, took one last look of his cousin and left. Going downstairs he bumped into his aunt.
" He is shouting now? So far there was silent screaming." the woman stated sarcastically, shoving her right hand inside her pocket using the other to signal him to follow her to the dinning room.
" It's my fault. I pressured him into going out with me."
" Not really. His outburst isn't your doing."
" I thought a walk would clear his mind. Change his mood." Seojoon admitted, sighing.
" I sincerely doubt it." YunHee raised her eyebrows. " Did you know?"
"Know what auntie?"
" That my crazy brat is in love?"
From the look on Seojoon's face ,he apparently had no idea. This would be fun! " You'd better sit!" She pointed at the chair on her left. Seojoon reluctantly complied, full of curiosity. He knew Tae had a thing with Isuel but love wasn't in his dictionary. Fucking definitely yes! He had banged almost every available or unavailable girl in school.
" It seems your cousin is madly in love with... Kookie." She crossed one leg over the other, fingernails tapping on the glass table rhythmically.
The boy popped up like a spur, widely opening his mouth." W-Who?"
" Kookie...the boy you both bullied. I guess you understand who I'm talking about."
Seojoon's eyes slithered from left to right. Was this some kind of a sick joke? A prank? Taehyung in love with Kookie? What were the odds? " No...had no clue." he spouted in total dismay. That would definitely explain his reaction. Acting as if the world came crashing down. He was actually in love? With Kookie? Seojoon blamed his sorrow on guilt. Not love...His arrogant cousin in love...with their pray... Damn he was caught on the hop!
" He confided in me yesterday ,begging me to help him.' She drew closer." Should I... help him Seojoon? " she lisped with a withering smirk on her red lips. The younger gulped. Auntie was scary sometimes.
YunHee abruptly got up walking away ,seething with satisfaction. Seojoon observed her slender figure , disappearing towards the study.
____
" After serious consideration and despite my need to break you stupid head, Kim Taehyung I have decided to help you. Bear in mind this doesn't change my previous decisions concerning your punishment or future. I still don't trust or have faith in you. You have to struggle to earn them." YunHee announced to her son, barging in his room two days later. She paid no attention to his puffy eyes, dark circles and the suffocating, awful scent of smoke lingering the air.She widely opened the heavy curtains to let the bright light enter and the window to get rid of the smell.
" Get up, go get a shower and we'll talk" she ordered her son.
The boy, blinking his heavy eyes, adjusting to the light, and taking a few seconds to understand,smiled widely and without stalling,hit the shower. Ten minutes later, they were facing eachother, Taehyung on the edge of his bed and his mother to the armchair across him.
" Don't get your hopes up. I'm not a miracle worker. Ok... what's his name?"
Taehyung frowned." Kookie."
YunHee huffed." His full name, dummy!"
" Jungkook."
" Last name?"
" I can't be sure...Kim?"he replied uncertain and the woman shook her head in frustration.
" Kim? Half of Korea is named Kim! You bullied the poor boy for four years! The least you could have done is find out!Where does he live? What do his parents do? Their names..."
Taehyung shrugged his shoulders,pouting.
" Oh dear Lord! Let me rephrase it. What do you know?" She was losing her patience with that boy.
" That I love him. Mama I can't live without him. I want to date him. Marry him and spend the rest of my life making him happy."he responded smiling.
YunHee was seriously doubting her intention of letting him run the company. They would go bankrupt for sure!
" Huss!" She stopped him with her hand. " I've heard enough! I'll do ot myself."
" Thank you mama!" Taehyung beamed. He was ready to face the world and turn his life upside down for his angel. He fell in her arms, hugging her but she didn't reciprocated. As much as she wanted to, she acted tough,with vigor.
Unfortunately, every attempt to find him , his family or Yoongi hit a brick wall. Noone was willing to share the information including Yoongi's family. The school refused to provide her what she requested out of fear of a potential scandal and she had no other means of continuing the search at this point.
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