章節 34: Chapter 32: Forgiveness
In his youth, Aiz was convinced he could change the world. He thought he could extend a helping hand to the suffering people, that he'd never forsake anyone who sought his support. He believed that he'd become a good king.
Only youngsters could find such groundless optimism in their hearts. They were fearless, believing that they were capable of anything.
Aiz used to be foolish, certainly, but he had yet to become scum. If he could, he'd gladly trade his wisdom for the beautiful dreams he used to have.
"I'm leaving tomorrow, but don't worry Aiz... I'll defeat the witch and I'll come back. I promise."
He still remembered how Lilia had smiled as she said those words. Lilia was nine years younger than him, and he'd always treasured the pink-haired girl like his own sister.
She was full of mirth and loved to admire flowers... Had she not been born as the saint, she would most likely never have chosen to involve herself in the war against the witch. She was a gentle soul—the type that wouldn't hurt a fly.
She had a dream, though. After saving the world, she wanted to step down from her role as the saint, fall in love like a normal girl, and start a family. It was such an ordinary wish...but Aiz remembered how precious that dream was to her.
And yet, he'd been the one who'd taken that dream away from her. He'd told her that even if she came back victorious, she'd turn into the next witch.
Aiz had always been told not to tell the saint the truth, but he'd decided to do so anyway. He didn't have any ill will—all he wanted was to find a way to change fate. He didn't want a gentle soul like Lilia to become a hateful witch.
However, he hadn't had a plan. He hadn't thought of what would happen if the saint gave up on fighting the witch. He just thought that there had to be a way. As long as he told Lilia, they'd find a solution, somehow.
The only thing he won from speaking the truth was Lilia's death.
Lilia fell into despair. She'd understood that no matter what she chose to do, her dream would never come true.
She'd been taken away from her parents at birth and raised for the sole sake of defeating the witch. She'd studied and trained hard with that goal in mind. The only reason she'd been able to withstand the hardships was her steadfast belief that, at the end of her path, happiness was waiting for her.
Because of Aiz, she'd learned that there was no place for her in the peaceful world she was forced to create.
Aiz couldn't begin to imagine how painful that must have been. The young girl who loved to smile became a shell of her former self. After a while, she'd disappeared, leaving her knights behind.
As soon as word had reached him, Aiz had led an army to search for her. He prayed that she hadn't done anything rash. As long as she was still alive, he was convinced that they could find another path—one where she had a future and the right to look for her own happiness.
Please, he prayed. Please be alive. God, anyone! Please save her!
Aiz had continued to look for Lilia everywhere, begging someone, anyone, to help him—to help her.
Finally...he'd found what was left of Lilia—a corpse that didn't even look human anymore.
Even though she was the saint, she wasn't truly invincible: monsters could kill her. In the end, the saint Lilia lost her life without accomplishing anything. She hadn't been able to stay strong in the face of the truth Aiz had foolishly revealed.
Many years passed, and Aiz turned forty.
He'd learned from his mistakes and made sure that the next saint, Alexia, didn't hear a word about the fate that awaited her. He couldn't allow the dark age to go on any longer. No matter what, Alexia needed to kill the witch.
However, by the time Alexia had turned twelve, monster attacks had become more and more vicious. They'd attacked villages and cities and slaughtered every human they could find mercilessly.
Alexia was still far too young to face the witch. Until she came into her own, the knights, soldiers, nobility, and royals had to protect the people. That was their duty.
At the time, the man in charge of leading the Bilberry army had been the accomplished crown prince—Aiz's firstborn son. His younger brothers had been just as admirable as him, and each of them had led a platoon, devoting themselves to the cause.
Aiz had been getting ready to step down and pass the throne to one of them. He was proud of each of his sons and trusted that the kingdom would be fine, no matter which of them succeeded him.
His first son, in particular, had recently proven that he was ready to inherit the throne by completing a trial meant to test his abilities as a ruler. Everyone had been expecting him to take over.
As soon as the upcoming campaign was over, he'd be able to sit on the throne, his legitimacy bolstered by his military achievements. He'd become a great king known to protect his people in times of need.
"I'll be back soon, Father," he'd said.
"Don't make such a grim face, Father. You didn't raise your sons to lose to monsters so easily, did you?" another of his sons had said.
"Until the saint is ready, it's our duty to protect the people. That's what you taught us, right?" the third added.
A few days later, an unbelievable report had reached Aiz. Archmonsters had appeared on each of the battlefields his sons were fighting on.
Aiz wasn't young anymore, but he set out immediately to save his sons.
Please, he prayed. Please let me arrive on time. Don't let them die!
He hadn't known who he was praying to anymore. He'd just needed someone—anyone—to save his sons. He'd continued to pray as he galloped as fast as possible until finally, he'd realized something—there was no salvation in this world. His pleas for help hadn't reached anyone at all.
The only thing he'd found were the butchered corpses of his sons.
He hadn't even recognized them at first. Their remains no longer looked human.
Aiz's beloved sons had all met a glorious death in battle... However, their demise was glorious only in name. They hadn't brought any change. They'd died for nothing; the cities and villages they'd fought to protect had been destroyed regardless.
Aiz couldn't help but think that their losses wouldn't have been as terrible if he hadn't sent the army, and he resolved to prevent people from dying for no reason ever again. He wouldn't do useless things just because they were right.
"Your Majesty! Please help us! The village of Zinc will soon fall to the hands of the monsters!"
"I'm sure it will."
"Zinc is my home, Your Majesty! Please send help! I beg of you, call in the army!"
"There's no point. I cannot allow the soldiers to give up their lives to protect such a tiny village. The same goes for the knights. Their job is to preserve their strength so they can open a path for the saint... Give up on this village."
"Do you... Do you have no heart?!"
Aiz coldly looked at the man getting dragged out of the room by his soldiers. He didn't need that man's forgiveness. He wouldn't ask for it, not even in his heart. He knew he didn't deserve it, so why ask for it?
Apologizing for his actions would serve no purpose other than lessening his guilt. He wouldn't indulge in such behaviors. People were free to hate him and curse him. He knew too well that there was no forgiveness left for him now.
Aiz was the king. He had to pick the path that'd keep the most people alive—that was the only choice he was allowed to make.
The villages monsters attacked were far away from the royal capital. By the time the soldiers marched there, they'd be worn out. That meant an increase in pointless casualties, and in the worst-case scenario, they'd all be decimated and the villages would be destroyed regardless.
It was better to give up on the villages altogether. At least Aiz could preserve the lives of the soldiers this way.
If he focused on defending cities with large populations, the kingdom would endure. That was the most important thing. If they held out until the saint could kill the witch, they'd get five years—at most—to get back on their feet.
Aiz always picked life...but such choices didn't always involve fighting monsters.
"Your Majesty! This doesn't make any sense! What am I guilty of?!"
"Corruption, kidnapping, mass murder...and a few other charges. Your house is finished."
"I've never done any of that!" the nobleman in front of him had cried. "Your Majesty, please investigate once more!"
"There's no point."
Aiz knew full well that this man hadn't done any of that. Aiz had made up that entire list of crimes himself, after all. However, he was far from innocent. He'd hoarded food—a crime that couldn't be pardoned given the current state of the world.
The noble didn't care what happened to others as long as he had enough for himself. He'd gathered so much food that his people were starving. With the food he'd monopolized, dozens of people could live. A few nobles couldn't compare to a hundred citizens, so Aiz had decided to crush his family and redistribute the food.
"You corrupt scum! You're the worst piece of trash in this kingdom! I'll never forgive you! I hate you! Go to hell, you bastard!"
The nobleman was dragged away, screaming and cursing. A few days later, he was hung for his crimes.
He wasn't the only one who'd met such a demise. All of the people who'd died for Aiz to preserve life cursed him before they passed.
How many times had Aiz been told he wouldn't be forgiven? It wasn't like he needed to hear it to know that.
Aiz's path was one of sin and betrayal. However, his choices had kept as many people alive as possible—that much was a fact. Aiz hadn't been able to save anyone, but he'd definitely decreased the number of casualties.
Obviously, the ones who'd been sacrificed or discarded couldn't care less about that. Even though it was all for the greater good, Aiz had betrayed Alexia, who'd done nothing but give everything she had for the sake of the world. He couldn't deny he was an odious sinner.
Aiz often wondered how much easier his life would've been if he'd been able to give up on everything and allowed himself to be a good person. He could've sent soldiers to save the people in need without thinking of the consequences. He'd surely feel less guilty.
However, Aiz knew what was bound to happen if he did that. The number of soldiers would quickly decrease, and before long, the large cities would be impossible to defend. When that happened, the monsters would take over the entire kingdom.
How wonderful it would've been to share the food equally among everyone! Sadly, Aiz knew that if he were to do so, everyone would starve to death before long.
How much easier would it have been if he'd stopped fighting and had let himself die? But Aiz knew his death would only bring solace to himself. Without him, the kingdom wouldn't hold out for long.
He couldn't save everyone. He couldn't beg for forgiveness. He couldn't even die. He could only continue to sin and betray everyone around him.
In his youth, Aiz was convinced he could change the world. He thought he could extend a helping hand to the suffering people, that he'd never forsake anyone who sought his support. He believed that he'd become a good king.
But the world didn't change. He'd forsaken his people time and time again. He'd become a corrupt, horrible king.
Aiz knew that there was no use in praying anymore. No one had ever lent him an ear, after all. He didn't expect forgiveness—he'd sinned too many times for that.
And yet, deep inside... Aiz couldn't help but beg for someone to rescue him. He wanted to throw away his position, his responsibilities—everything—and depend on someone...anyone.
◇
Supple's double-crossing had turned the tables around.
The king and Layla couldn't move an inch, and the soldiers they'd brought with them were all passed out on the floor.
There were still plenty of soldiers and knights in the castle, but they'd most likely need time to notice that something was off. After all, as far as they were concerned, the intruders had all been captured. There was no need to worry.
People were always most vulnerable when they thought victory was in their hands. They always let their guard down. Supple had chosen that moment to strike. There was just one variable in his plan—Layla. She was strong enough to break free and fight him, but it didn't look like she had any intention to do so. If anything, she seemed relieved to have been incapacitated.
"Your Majesty... Please surrender," Verner said.
Aiz's face contorted in anguish. To him, Verner and the others must've looked like a bunch of clueless kids. They had ideals, but couldn't see the bigger picture—irredeemable fools. However, Aiz had no way to overpower them.
He tried to scream to call for his subordinates upstairs, but Supple expected that. He immediately had the clay puppet clamp the king's mouth shut.
Now that the king was in their hands, they had the advantage. They could use him as a hostage and force the soldiers to release Ellize. Needless to say, they'd soon be chased down for treason...but that was a worry for another day.
However, as fate would have it, things didn't go as well as they'd hoped. They heard a soldier running down the stairs.
Did they notice something already?! Marie and Aina thought, getting ready to fight.
However, the soldier who barged into the basement looked off. He was clearly stressed out and had lost his cool. He didn't seem to sense the tense atmosphere in the room. "Your Majesty! I have urgent news from the capital! A gigantic monster—thought to be an archmonster—is marching an army of monsters on the capital! They're getting closer as we speak!"
Aiz pushed the puppet's hand away and screamed, "What?!" He'd only been able to do so because Supple's control had slipped because of the shock.
The capital was under attack now? The timing couldn't have been any worse! The king had gathered everyone who could hope to defeat an archmonster in this very castle. No, that wasn't exactly what had happened. The members of Ellize's guard had insisted on staying here to protect her in order to cope with their guilt. Aiz hadn't thought they'd be needed in the capital so soon, so he'd decided to indulge them so they wouldn't change their minds—a terrible mistake.
"What of the knights in the royal capital?!" the king asked.
"They're preparing to engage, but...the monsters are too numerous. They're requesting reinforcements as soon as possible."
"How could they fail to notice an entire army approaching the capital?!"
"I-I don't know, Your Majesty... They simply wrote that the monsters had appeared out of nowhere..."
Aiz had no idea how to react. He'd ensured that there were no powerful monsters—or worse, archmonsters—around before he'd decided to take the knights with him to the saint's castle. He'd decided to confine Ellize because he'd been certain that she wasn't needed anymore. And yet, an archmonster had suddenly appeared out of thin air! How was that even possible?!
Archmonsters had to be created by the witch, didn't they? Ellize had confirmed that she believed the witch was in the academy. It made no sense for an archmonster to appear spontaneously so far away from the witch's location... Had Ellize been mistaken? Or was their understanding of the archmonsters wrong all along? Aiz didn't know, and that only confused him more.
"Y-Your Majesty, what's going on?!"
After he'd relayed his message and begun to calm down, the soldier finally noticed that something was off.
"Right here," Supple said from behind him, pressing his hand to one of his pressure points. The soldier lost consciousness on the spot.
"Verner... Wh-What do we do?! The kingdom will fall... And my parents... My mom and my dad are in the capital..." Marie turned to Verner for help, but he didn't know what to say.
"My mother's also in the capital..." John said.
"And so's my sister! What in the world are we supposed to do...?" Aina whimpered.
The students began to panic. What could they do to save the kingdom? A Stil's bird took an hour to reach the saint's castle, and they could fly! How long would they need to get there? Even if they managed to find a carriage, it'd take them several hours. Plus, once they'd arrived, then what? What were they supposed to do?
If all of the knights could be transported to the capital instantly, there was a chance they could fight against the odds, but no one could perform such a miracle. No saint in history had ever been capable of such a feat.
"Your Majesty! Now's not the time for internal strife! Please release Lady Ellize immediately!" Verner begged. "She may be able to do something!"
If someone could still save the capital, it was Ellize.
Aiz shook his head. "Would you listen to one of my requests if you were in her shoes? Even if I release her..." he trailed off.
Aiz agreed that Ellize might be able to do something—she had exceptional powers, after all. However...how could he face her and ask her for help now? He'd betrayed and imprisoned her. How could he suddenly waltz in and tell her "Actually, I changed my mind! Go save the capital."
Who in their right mind would agree? There was no way Ellize would. The Bilberry Kingdom was her enemy now, and so were the knights. Why would she go out of her way to help those who'd betrayed her? She didn't owe them anything. In fact, she probably even wished they'd disappear after everything they'd done.
"If I were her, I certainly wouldn't," the king continued. "Someone who's betrayed you once will do it again. I'd never trust such a person. Why would I listen to their pleas?"
He fell to his knees in despair. The one miracle worker who could save the day was in this very castle. But he'd betrayed her and lost her trust. He'd justified his decision to confine Ellize by saying it was for the good of the world, but in the end, this entire plan was a failure. It had been doomed from the start.
Ellize had warned him—as long as the witch was alive, tragedies would occur. Monsters would attack, just like they had in the Lutein Kingdom. And what had he answered then? He'd said that the saint would be there to prevent that.
What a joke.
He'd betrayed the trust of the one person who could protect them while somehow assuming she'd continue to do so no matter what. What he'd done was akin to throwing Ellize in jail while telling her, "But make sure to protect me if things turn sour, okay?" He'd only considered his own interests. At the end of the day, Aiz And Ai Bilberry XIII of the Bilberry Kingdom was an old fool.
Ellize's light was so bright that he'd lost sight of his path and hadn't noticed that he was walking straight into a dead end. He'd told everyone who would listen he was doing this for the sake of the world, but that was just an excuse. He'd simply convinced himself that his logic was flawless and had lost himself in his own pretenses.
Had he been prepared to lose everything to give the next generation some hope? What bullshit. He'd simply tried to make himself feel better.
Sure, I'm a villain, but I'm doing this for the world! How admirable of me, he'd think. He was an irredeemable hypocrite. Somehow, he'd only just realized this.
Alexia and Dias had also been victims of his foolishness. She'd fought with everything she had to save the world. She'd risked her life to defeat the witch and lost many comrades she held dear in the battle. Surely, there was much Aiz didn't know about what had happened during those difficult days. Alexia had suffered in ways he couldn't imagine.
And yet, when she'd finally returned after overcoming all odds he'd betrayed her and her knights. Hell, he'd even tried to kill her.
How could Alexia not have lost faith in humanity?
And here he was, repeating his mistakes once again. He hadn't learned anything. He was rotten to his very core. He could try to hide his putridness under pretenses, but nothing would change what he truly was: trash.
No one would listen to the request of a piece of garbage like himself.
Eterna and the others thought the very same. They understood how unlikely it was for Ellize to step in, so they remained silent.
Verner was the only one who thought differently. At the very least, Ellize would—
"At the very least, I can hear you out, King Aiz," a gentle voice roused Aiz from his despair.
Everyone raised their faces at once. Ellize was smiling at them, just like she always did.
"Lady Ellize?! How... Why are you here?!" Verner asked.
"Why, you ask?" Ellize seemed puzzled and stopped to think for a moment. "I heard someone's voice, that's all."
She seemed to think that the answer was obvious.
She crouched down so that she could look into Aiz's eyes. Her dress was sure to stain, but she didn't seem to mind. Aiz met her eyes, terrified of what she was about to say.
"I heard everything, King Aiz... I've heard the pleas for help you couldn't bring yourself to say aloud. You can leave the rest to me," she said.
"D-Do you not resent me? I betrayed you! I trampled your trust and locked you up! How could you forgive me?!" Aiz sounded bewildered.
He knew that he didn't deserve forgiveness. He'd done all this knowing full well that she would not forgive him. His calls for help would never reach anyone, and no one would ever give him the forgiveness he so desperately craved. He knew that.
And yet, he couldn't detect even the smallest hint of anger in Ellize's eyes. He didn't understand.
"I don't resent you at all, and I hope you'll stop blaming yourself as well. If you cannot forgive yourself, then...I will instead."
"I-I might betray you again! How can you possibly forgive me when I've already betrayed your trust?!"
Even though she'd been betrayed by the people who were supposed to protect her, Ellize hadn't changed at all. As long as someone needed her, she'd rush to them, just like she always did.
Verner realized that once again, and squinted his eyes as if he were looking at the sun itself.
"I'll forgive you as many times as you need me to. Even if you betray me a hundred times—no, a thousand times—I won't abandon you," Ellize said with a smile, holding out her hand toward the king.
Imahe here:
"So please forgive yourself, all right?" she added.
Aiz couldn't take it anymore. Tears started rolling down his cheeks.
He'd promised himself he'd protect his people no matter the cost. He'd do anything, even if it meant turning into a villain. But he'd finally understood that his reasoning had been nothing but an excuse—a sorry lie he'd told himself repeatedly to avoid his guilt.
The saint he'd idolized and adored like an older sister had fallen into darkness, while the saint he'd doted upon like a little sister had died.
He'd sworn that he wouldn't let the tragic cycle repeat itself. He'd become scum and betrayed Alexia...all for nothing. Then, he'd committed the same sin once more by betraying Ellize, utterly convinced that he was beyond redemption anyway.
And yet, one sentence from Ellize had saved him. No one else would ever know how badly he'd needed to hear her words of redemption.
Aiz was crying so much that he couldn't see, but he managed to take Ellize's hands.
She wouldn't give up on anyone—even the most wretched man in the world.
The old king held on to her hands and wept like a child.
(4.1k word count)
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