章節 98: Chapter 98 - Four Noble Truths.
An hour later.
Xin's gaze lingered on the Buddha statue inside of the old temple. He'd been here once, after his father's death, confiding his grief to a local priest. It didn't help.
A small hall was littered with bodies, mostly Fist sect members' corpses, but also some injured from the attacking side, receiving treatment. Xin put his bloodied glaive aside and approached the statue.
It was made of cheap low quality brass, and looked quite withered. It portrayed a Clay Folk
man in his forties, his round face calm and subtly smiling, sitting in a lotus pose. A few hundred years ago, the legend of this man and his philosophy had crept up into many of the Way temples, out of nowhere, and in some places, his teachings even overtook as the main spiritual focus.
I'm tired. I killed four more people, and injured three.
Our forces took the south-west of the town, but we can't proceed further before the fighting resolves on the other flanks. We've got to wait and defend.
Xin looked at a small sign on a pedestal below the statue.
"Four Noble Truths", it said. Xin recalled the teachings.
The suffering is ever present.
Caused by the Thirst, it leaves one hollow.
You can free yourself of its shackles, if you know The Way.
The Way is one and only escape.
Xin sighed as he remembered these words, relayed to him by a priest. Four Noble Truths? I'd be satisfied with just one, if I could genuinely believe it. The priests have a habit of making reasonable statements that lead to unreasonable conclusions, seeking to establish control over people. Nothing noble about it. What priests call faith is just a pretense to express a controlling impulse. Is Buddha smiling in bliss, or is he just happy that he is holding the keys to salvation, with a myriad souls longing for something that he already has?
Sometimes it feels like there is no dao, no truth. Things happen and go by, and pretending there is a higher meaning to them is just wishful thinking. The people I killed, where will their souls truly go?
Does it even matter? The soul isn't a person, it's nothing but an instrument that lost its purpose. It's used to connect the body and the mind, and with its function gone, it withers away. Ghosts exist, but those aren't human either. What's gone is gone.
Forever.
I prayed, and felt nothing. I've read, but the religious texts felt hollow. I hoped the world was fair, but it's just indifferent. One would be tempted to say "that means that we have to take the matters into our hands, make our own meaning out of nothing, forge our own destiny!", but I don't feel it. The "I" itself drains me of energy every time I think about it. Need a long, long sleep.
Xin rubbed the statue's belly, sighed and sat down. He looked at a pile of corpses in front of the temple entrance. Dozen of them. Could be me and Lei, if we also got recruited. No illusions about being above that outcome, no "we'd figure something out" or "we'd somehow avoid it". It could be us, there is no denying it.
Several other people were groaning in pain, injured. One man had already fainted, despite the medicine and healing techniques, he lost too much blood to internal bleeding. The doctor had already injected too many blood restoring pills, one more and his meridians would explode. It's over for him, he's just a mortal, only a rank three intervention could save him.
"Everyone, come out! New orders have arrived!" Xin heard an unfamiliar voice call out. He grunted as he stood up and walked out of the temple. The market square was littered with corpses, too. It was one of the main roads of the town, controlling it meant being able to reinforce in three different directions. With this strategic advantage, the victory felt imminent.
Xin seeked out Rui Ming, who was explaining the movement nuances to his subordinates. He wasn't happy with their indecisiveness in the last fight, criticising them for attacking when they shouldn't have and not attacking when they should have. They lowered their heads in shame as he scolded them, even if he was respectful about it. No one could deny his contributions in the last fight, so people listened attentively and promised to do better.
"Xin, you're back. How's the temple?"
"They moved everything of value out. There's just a cheap old statue there. It's not mystical, or a trap, or anything like that. I've checked for other clues all over the temple. Area's clear."
"Good. Murong Zhan brought the new orders. We'll advance soon, the idea is to lock two flanks down simultaneously, to stop them from reinforcing the north-east when we pierce through it."
"There's a good road leading downhill there, if our troops push from it, we can break their ranks. That's the plan, I guess."
Murong Zhan's here? Xin was happy, not just because his friend was now with him, but also because it meant the formation force could spare to direct the soldiers to the other flanks. Seems like things are going well.
"Oi, Zhan!" Lei approached him from the back and hugged him. "How are things? I've killed a dozen of these fags by now! Living the dream!" Unlike Xin, Lei was in elevated spirits.
"Ehm... I was an auxiliary in the formation. I threw my disc dao shard once, injured the enemy master. Donated some qi to rank two moves, helped ease the strain. That's it." He looked around with a repressed look, contrasting with his shining ornate armour. He felt a relief not having to be a part of this slaughter, but was also ashamed to be on the sidelines as his brothers got their hands dirty.
"Could have made up something to save face, brother! What's the rank two situation?"
"It's tough, mate. Seems our guys are mostly turtling and stalling for time, as our mortals and rank ones advance. The rank twos on our side are all refusing to duel, and are mostly reacting to their rank twos' attacks. And since you're about to ask, two pairs of rank threes are hovering above the battlefield, staring at each other."
"Zhan." Xin approached and bowed respectfully, adding a martial gesture. "Who's our other rank three?"
"No idea, never seen him. Regular looking armour, flying sword, jian sword — looks quite ordinary to me."
"Nothing ordinary about rank threes." Rui Ming commented from behind Xin, then bowed to Murong Zhan. "What's your role in this assignment?"
"I am to move freely, reinforcing as I see fit. Since your two squads are together, I'll be joining you."
"Ha, you jackass. Your family gets you a safe assignment away from the risk, you go into the brunt. I respect this." Lei smirked again.
"Fuck off, my family didn't get me shit. I'll go and wait for the signal."
Xin looked at Lei, and they talked with their eyes, not saying anything out loud.
"What?"
"Nothing, go apologise."
"Come on. Seriously?"
"Yes."
"Fine."
Lei ran up to Murong Zhan again.
"Hey, mate, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it."
"Said what?"
"Haha, good one. I also forgive you."
"For what?"
"For that moody fucking face."
Murong Zhan chuckled.
"You retard. Don't you see this battlefield, littered with corpses? I visited this town as a kid, and now it's like that. How do you stay positive?"
"In life, when things are shit, you've got to make a choice to enjoy it despite all odds. There is no other recipe. I learned it the hard way. And... I'm not too upset about killing a bunch of baldies."
"What's your fixation with them? Is it bald people in general or just Fist sect?"
"Both, haha. But mostly Fist sect. Those cunts wronged me, and they'll pay."
"What exactly did they do?" Xin approached and asked. "I always wondered, since that time you almost 'suicided by monk'."
"Fuck me, do I have to tell you? Fine! A dear friend of mine had... sexual favours extorted by a bunch of them. Not giving you more details."
"Clay Nest?"
"Just outside. The only thing more fucked up than Clay Nest is its outskirts, I tell you that. I got to avenge them, at least."
"You killed unrelated people. I don't like their sect, either, but you are deluding yourself. Those people are still unpunished, and your friend is still... Extorted."
"But as a whole, their sect is fucked up, and I made the world a better place." Lei approached and kicked one of the corpses, its expression twisted in agony. "Look at his tattoos, guy's from one of the Clay Nest's drug gangs. They are all scum, I'm not about to humanise them."
"If I may add, Lei." Murong Zhan approached them. "I know it sounds cliche, but revenge is poison. It's a good thing to deliver in cold blood, but if it still controls you like that, making you act rashly, like when you endangered Xin by provoking the monks, it's not a good thing."
"And if you successfully avenge someone, you often learn a wrong lesson." Xin added. "You reinforce the part of you driven by rage and resentment, so you lose an ability to act on other motivators. I'm not saying you shouldn't avenge, but one has to let go of resentment. That's the truth."
"Fuck off, both of ya. Why are you ganging up on me? Learned the wrong lesson? How about your fight with that Ling girl, Xin? Did you even understand what got master Xiaodan so pissed? You lost your shit and now your mind remembers that it's successful when it loses its shit, so you'll lose it more. And you, Zhan, are not fit to judge me, do something of note first. Parents didn't do shit. Look at your fucking armour."
Lei scoffed and went away, sitting on a barrel near the ruined stalls.
"Let's give him some space, we pressured him too much." Murong Zhan said. He bought his new armour with the gains from their caravan mission, but decided not to correct Lei.
"I'm not sure. Giving people time or space is often an excuse to avoid putting effort in. But whatever, it's not our fault he got angry, we were reasonable. Whatever, we're advancing soon, we need to focus."
Xin thought to himself again.
Did I learn any wrong lessons?
(Author's note: I am aware of how real life representatives of the religions in this book work. There are specific reasons for the deviations present in this setting.)
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票