Creating The Strongest Familia In Danmachi

LV 4

MagicianMiracle

it's pretty good all besides the mc. In the first 3 chapters, this gif describes everything

LV 4

Darius_Chromwell

The author has clearly jumped on the danmachi bandwagon without ever actually watching danmachi, I mean first of all it’s a semi-dark fantasy world, you don’t just pop out of a portal in the middle of the street and shout out that you’re a rich newbie, that’s just asking to get stabbed by a random hobo. And secondly it’s danmachi the gods are basically living lie detectors Hestia would have thrown him out the first sentence that came out of his mouth.

LV 13

Howswan

This requires a broad, high-level review without zeroing in too closely on individual details, as this is only a preliminary evaluation. Set aside feedback that lacks a clear objective or critical insight, since many comments will address minor points that aren't currently relevant. A general suggestion: try using AI-supported grammar tools like Grammarly to enhance clarity and cohesion in your writing. Such tools are widely accepted for improving grammar, style, and flow, and they’re valuable for refining your text. In English classes, you may have been taught the importance of planning for creative writing assignments. Outlining a clear Beginning, Middle, and End can significantly streamline the writing process. By defining these main sections, the story’s development often unfolds more smoothly, with other elements fitting together naturally. Writers generally fall into three categories: those who plan extensively, those who write spontaneously, and those who use a mix of both. Planners organize every detail in advance, setting up a structured outline that makes the actual writing more straightforward. Spontaneous writers, or “pantsers,” follow their instincts, shaping the narrative as ideas come to them. My approach combines planning with spontaneity. Some well-known writers who favor a spontaneous style are Stephen King and George R.R. Martin, who need little introduction. My method involves setting up a Beginning, Middle, and End but improvising many parts of the story along the way. Writing Quality: There’s room for growth. Writing styles vary; some are complex and detailed, while others are more straightforward. Don’t let this discourage you. Keep writing and focus on honing your craft. Update Frequency: Not particularly relevant here. This is fanfiction—there’s no payment or strict requirement to follow a rigid update schedule. Readers who follow your work do so because they enjoy it, so you should feel free to update at a pace that suits you. Story Development: At this point, a comprehensive assessment may be premature, though the story is engaging so far. I’m interested to see how it progresses. Character Design: Based on the protagonist’s current presentation, I expect their character to develop as the story goes on. Many readers on this platform come with specific expectations for protagonists, but they also appreciate variety. Still, they often react negatively if a character changes too much, so consider ignoring feedback that pressures you into forced consistency. For example, some readers expect a character to be clever or stand out from the beginning, and if these traits aren’t immediately obvious, they may give the story a low rating. This can sometimes make these readers come across as picky or demanding. Crafting a unique character with quirks, however unusual or surprising, is a strength. Whether the character is overly fixated on something, behaves unpredictably, or reacts in a quirky way, I see these as positive traits that add originality. In short, character development matters, but with refined writing, you can sometimes make a character engaging even without extensive development, though this takes skill. World Background: This story is set in the Danmachi universe, so much of the world-building is already in place. However, adding your own lore or expanding the setting would be a great touch. Many writers, particularly beginners, find world-building challenging, so don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t turn out perfect. Experimentation is part of the learning process, so feel free to explore new ideas. Good luck, and for uploading your work, you get an automatic 3/5 stars for putting yourself out there.

LV 4

Bilal_Arshad

The concept is ok, the characters are skillfully perceived but which modern person acts like that he screams, goes into dark alleys, uses his superpower without confirming his surroundings and speaks like a fancy person from a 3rd rate Disney movie

LV 1

Max_I_4248

It seems normal. But there is a certain feeling of an aura of total stupidity. If at first only the hero seems bad, then later it progresses and spreads.

LV 4

Garland

My god was this painful to read. Like the whole concept was already interesting enough but man did the MC just bring everything down. Dude is straight up an idiot who pretty much just fanboyed early on. This pretty much explained him just joining the Hestia Familia because of it instead of actually having a plan that made sense. You also have some mistakes on Danmachi, just going in without much research. You could have actually had him be a god and form a familia by going to other worlds and recruiting people thus fitting the actual title of your story but instead its just the same join the Hestia Familia thing without any form of originality or creativeness.

LV 3

Praise_TheSun

I tried I really tried but mc is really dumb and a simp he has broken ability to travel world and has the info to all worlds but does stupid things

LV 4

GhostStormX

good concept, plus the author can actually write 🤣

LV 4

WalkingTall

This story is LEGEGENDARY!!! it has a chance at being one of the GOATS!!! Awesome quality chapters and great character explanation!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥👍🫡🐐

LV 14

WorldMonarch

really good story, I wish it had more chapters tho. I hope you keep up the great work author, pls don't drop 🙏

LV 4

Rovontheus

Reason for my 1 star review? I hate this novel picture.

LV 13

Alex_Klin

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LV 4

DaoistkO2QwU

trash mc trash power lineup no development making in characters trash for not taking suggestions and revies seriously and still asking

LV 3

F_8

First of all, the premise for the story is good, but reading the first 5 chapters made me want to smash my head on the wall due to the sheer stupidity of the MC. I can handle some stupidity and cringe for the sake of a good story, but this MC fires off unfunny jokes every few lines. Sorry, man, I can't keep reading. But by all means, keep reading if you like the fic; don't mind my rant.