章節 11: meeting under the bridge
I am currently sitting by the river right under the bridge with an old man who has a white fake hair, mustache, and beard. His black eyes staring directly at me with a smile on his face made me realize that my suspicion about him was correct.
His newly made and overly neat cardboard house made me suspicious of him. It's not because he's only been around here for a week, but the cardboard house looks like it has never been used by anyone.
I have visited him five times and he has never been seen inside the cardboard house. That's why I started to think that he never actually used it.
It's not that I want to judge him and become an invisible hero. It's just that he got me interested in why he's doing this.
Normal people wouldn't do this for trivial reasons. He must have a reason that can explain why he has to pretend to be homeless. That's why I've been trying to get closer to him.
But his response to me knowing his secret was not what I expected.
He started attacking me without saying a word, using his foot to aim for my head. But I managed to dodge it, and then he immediately used his other foot to try to attack my stomach.
I let him kick my stomach. Because earlier I was prepared, carrying water inside my clothes. And just before his kick hit my stomach, I froze the water inside my clothes.
I was thrown but my body didn't hurt much, only the back of my body felt pain because of hitting the wall under the bridge at that time.
On the other hand, his foot that kicked my stomach became very painful.
I can't say this is the best thing I could do. But at least feeling a little pain I can still endure. Rather than killing someone else and becoming a police fugitive.
If feeling this little pain can make my life peaceful and calm, then I will accept that pain as long as it is related to the physical.
Feeling that he couldn't be further discussed with, I immediately directed the nearby river water towards his legs and froze the water.
"Hey! What are you doing? Are you the one doing all this? Are you an esper?"
"It's not me... Maybe someone from afar is doing it to protect me."
"Ha? Do you think I'm stupid? Controlling water from a distance requires years of experience! It's impossible to do this from afar! And the only one near me right now is you!"
"I don't know, maybe the one helping me is someone over 70 years old?"
"Tch... You're just playing with me. What do you want from me!?"
"I just want to know about you."
"If you already know, what do you want to do to me after that?"
"It depends on the situation."
"If I say I'm a criminal, what will you do?"
I don't understand why he's asking that with a serious face. But it seems like my answer will make him understand me better.
"Hmm... I'm confused if you ask like that. Because from the beginning I just want to know your reason for pretending like this."
He looked surprised, his face softened after I said that.
"Are you really just interested in my reason?"
"Yeah... Unless you want to do something bad to my family. Maybe by now you don't have a life anymore."
"Huft... You're making me panic. I thought you were a professional hitman sent to kill me."
"A professional hitman? Me? Why do you think I'm a professional hitman?"
"You... Are you not aware of your own actions?"
"Realize what? I'm just defending myself. You were the first to attack me, right? Is it wrong if I stop you so you can't attack me again?"
"Ugh... You're even good at talking. Alright, I give up, I'll explain it to you."
"hmm... Alright...," I melted the river water back into liquid that I had previously frozen to stop his movements.
"Eh? What are you doing?"
"Of course, releasing you... Are you blind or something?"
"No... It's just that, are you sure you trust me just like that?"
"I don't trust you, but I trust myself. As far as I can see, you're not good at hiding your emotions, that makes me sure you're not a professional hitman. And also your heartbeat, I've been watching it and I don't see any signs that you're lying."
"Eh? My heartbeat? Did you plant something on me?"
"And also... Your face is easy to read. You looked relieved when you found out that I was only doing this for a reason that turned out to be trivial. That means you're not afraid to tell your reason to others. You're just afraid to tell it to the wrong person. For example... something you're targeting right now?"
He looked surprised after I said that. And with his surprised expression, he asked back, "y-you... How much do you know about me? You even know what I'm targeting..."
"I don't... I don't know."
"Eh?"
"You seem to misunderstand something. I only know you're targeting something, it doesn't mean I know what you're targeting. Besides, who would do this foolish thing just for a trivial reason?"
"You're right."
"Are you stupid or what? Anyway, let's sit by the river for a while. My back is a bit sore from hitting the wall because of your kick."
"S-sorry about that..."
I started sitting by the river first, while he still looked confused seeing me approaching his spot again and sitting down without caring that he might attack me again.
It's not that I'm not considering that possibility. And I don't trust him. I feel calm because I believe in myself.
Because if I can't even trust myself, how can I make others trust me?
That's why I trust myself. I do it for myself, not for others. At least I don't want to lose myself now. Like what happened in the past, I don't want that to happen again.
I don't want to lose myself for the second time.
The old man seemed to start to understand me. He sat down casually next to me and started to explain the reason why he did it.
I listened to his reason and it was very interesting. He did it to lure a secret organization that targets the homeless to be used as experimental subjects, promising them a very generous reward.
Experimenting on ordinary humans so that they can awaken talents as an esper.
I wasn't too surprised, as I had long considered the possibility of it happening. But I didn't think it would happen in the real world where I live.
Thinking about it again, I recently realized that my world is more complicated than I had imagined.
Peace and chaos always exist in this world. And it happens around humans even when they themselves are not aware of it.
And I, as a human, just hope that what surrounds me is peace... Not chaos.
But hope is just hope, something that doesn't exist but is desired by many. Because hope is a symbol of someone who is still trying. If someone stops hoping for something, it means they have given up on everything in their life.
I am still lucky because I still have something to hope for. No... Maybe the truth is I am strong enough because I haven't given up on everything.
That's why I respect people who still hope for foolish things. At least they haven't given up.
Humans tend to like to bring others down, that's why people call them the one who don't give up by "foolish", they do it so that person who don't gives up ends up like themselves, become someone who has nothing left to hope for in life. In reality, they can still continue to hope, but they give up like losers.
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