章節 6: Chapter 6: Distance
"You can't be serious… Kai…" she said with a menacing tone, her eyes narrowing.
I took a step back, trying to remain calm. "I am, Hina. This isn't healthy for either of us. I need time to think."
Her expression shifted from anger to desperation. "Kai, please don't do this. I can't bear to be without you. I'll change, I promise."
I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt. "It's not just about change, Hina. We need to figure out if this relationship is good for us. I need to feel safe and trusted."
Tears welled up in her eyes, and for a moment, she looked like the fragile girl I had fallen for.
But then, her face hardened again.
"If you distance yourself from me, Kai, I'll have nothing. I can't lose you. I might go crazy... i... i... i don't know what i'll do..."
Her last sentence was the most impactful thing that she said.
It seemed like a knife was being throwed at me.
The intensity of her gaze sent a chill down my spine.
"This isn't a goodbye, Hina. I'm not breaking up with you." I said, trying to reassure her. "I just need some time to clear my head and also focus on my studies since i also have some important tests to do." I added, trying to find an excuse.
In reality, i just needed to breathe.
She didn't respond immediately, her eyes boring into mine.
Finally, she nodded, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Fine. But don't take too long. We're gonna still see each other, right? Are we still a couple?"
I nodded at her so she could calm down.
In that moment, it looked like i was talking with a baby.
Don't misunderstand me, i really liked Hina and for this particular reason i wanted some free time to think.
Hina then came closer to me and hugged me tightly and she was refusing to let me go.
I could feel her calming down and when I could finally feel her body relaxing, I gently broke the hug and smiled at her.
"Don't worry , Hina. We're still a couple… I just need to focus on my studies, okay?" I said while scratching the back of my head.
Hina nodded and then sighed.
"Mmh… okay, i respect your decision, Kai." She replied, before giving me a rapid kiss on my lips.
She didn't care that people were around.
Hina probably did that to mark her territory.
Of course, my virgin self got really embarrassed for that kiss, just like always.
Then, I gently smiled one last time at Hina before telling her "Goodbye" with a lovely smile.
I felt like she understood me and my boundaries.
"I'll text you, Kai!!" She said cheerfully while i started to face the road to my home.
With that, I turned and walked away.
I felt that my heart was heavy.
Despite my talk with Hina, i couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched, and the air felt thick with tension.
It seemed like I was being constantly observed from outside, despite knowing that Hina wasn't with me.
Of course she kept sending me lots of messages.
"Are you home?"
"Don't make me worried!!"
Something like that.
Once I was out of sight, I quickened my pace, eager to put some distance between us.
That night, I locked my windows and doors despite I was living alone.
I turned on the Tv to have some company.
A famous tv show was playing on it.
"The Yukkimura serial killer" was the name of it.
It was a TV series that followed the story of the detective Yukkimura who was searching for his brother who became a serial killer.
He wanted to put the bad guy in jail, but the criminal was way more smart than the detective , so every episode was a full twist of emotions mixed adrenaline and a glimpse of mystery.
For some strange reason , i remember that I was really tired that night, in fact I forgot to take a shower and I directly undressed myself before going into my bed.
I kept watching the show until I fell asleep.
My mind was still stressed from Hina's possessive behavior and the fact that she probably understood my situation calmed down a little.
That's why i kept texting her normal things like "how are you?" "Good night , darling" etc.
Hina was such a beautiful girl… but her beauty was directly proportional to her madness probably.
I still didn't know anything about her past.
I wanted to know, I needed to know.
All the rumors about her were probably fake.
She needed help and she only wanted to be loved and accepted by someone.
"Maybe the loss of her last boyfriend traumatized her too much… that would explain her possessiveness." I thought.
"I'll find out soon , I hope *yawn*" I said to myself, before closing my eyes and drifting into a deep and peaceful sleep.
——-
Over the next few days, I tried to focus on school and spend more time with my friends, but Hina was always on my mind.
Her constant messages and calls only added to my anxiety.
She even promised me that she understood my situation and what i said to her, but her actions were telling the exact opposite.
She was still getting jealous.
I saw her passing outside my class multiple times and all my classmates and friends kept giving me strange or scared stares.
Hina was creeping them out.
I knew I needed to talk to someone about what was happening, so I reached out to Hiro again.
We met at a quiet café, away from prying eyes and ears.
Hiro looked concerned as I told him about my conversation with Hina and her increasingly erratic behavior.
"Kai, this is getting dangerous," he said, his voice low. "You need to be careful. If those rumors are true, Hina could be capable of anything."
I nodded, feeling a knot of fear in my stomach. "Well… I don't think that the rumors are true… and I can't just cut her off completely. She might... do something drastic."
Hiro sighed, leaning back in his chair.
"Maybe you should talk to the school counselor or even the police. They might be able to help."
The thought of involving authorities made me uneasy, but despite feeling that he was suggesting the right thing, I still thought that it was exaggerated to call the police.
Hina never has never hurt me or done something awful enough to call the police.
It would've been pointless and no sense.
But still… I had a strange feeling in my heart.
"I'll think about it. Thanks, Hiro."
As I left the café, I felt a renewed sense of determination.
I headed to my home.
I saw 10 messages from Hina.
She asked me where I was, who was with me, what I was doing… etc.
She was probably worried about me.
But the thought that she was constantly thinking about me actually lightened a lamp inside my mind.
"She instantly replies… she always messages me… doesn't she have to do housework or something like that?"
Maybe it was a stupid thought… but I couldn't know.
I needed to find a way to handle this situation, for both my safety and Hina's well-being.
I wanted my relationship with Hina to grow genuinely and I knew that the only way to do so was keeping some distance to see how she would've reacted.
"Ah… I always wanted a girlfriend… but this is too much… girls are strange… Ahhhhh!" I sighed while moving back and down on my chair.
That evening, as I sat in my room, my phone buzzed with another message from Hina.
I hesitated before opening it, dreading what I might read.
"Kai, I miss you. Can we talk face to face?" the message said.
Ah yes, we barely saw each other for two days.
I said to her that i was studying for my exam and that I was too busy to go out.
I took a deep breath and replied "Hina, I miss you too, but I'm studying way too hard. I'm sorry!!! I'll recover for all this time loss, I promise!" I texted back.
Her response was almost immediate. "I understand. Just don't forget about me."
I put my phone away, feeling a mix of relief and dread.
As I lay in bed that night, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was far from over.
I still felt sorry for Hina.
I didn't want to hurt her feelings , but the situation between us escalated way too much.
—
The next day at school, I tried to keep a low profile, avoiding places where I might run into Hina.
I told her that my exam was that day and that I was about to study with Hiro and Haruto, so if she saw me walking around without a reason, she could think that I was lying.
To calm the situation and tension between us, that morning we walked to school together.
I enjoyed my little time with her, but i also knew that i also had to take some distance.
During lunch, Hiro approached me with a worried expression.
"Kai, we need to talk. I heard something today that you need to know."
I followed him to a secluded spot outside, my heart pounding. "What is it, Hiro?"
He glanced around to make sure no one was listening.
"I overheard some students talking about Hina. They said she's been asking around about your schedule, who you talk to, where you go after school. She's watching you, Kai."
A cold sweat broke out on my forehead.
I let out an annoyed sigh and then replied to him.
"What should I do, Hiro? I really don't know how to behave or what to think, I swear..." I said while
He put a hand on my shoulder. "We need to get you some help. Let's go talk to Yuna and Naomi. Maybe they can do something since they are members of the students council"
Reluctantly, I agreed.
I've always been the reserved one about my sentimental life, but I felt like Hiro was right.
I also needed an external opinion from a girl.
Well… I never expected that girls could be this complicated.
During our walk, i still felt like i was being watched from distance.
Hina also kept texting me during our classes.
She was writing to me about her day, about teachers etc.
She was literally using me like a living diary.
Then , me and Hiro made our way to the student's council office where Yuna and Naomi were, and I explained everything that had been happening.
The girls listened carefully, taking notes.
"Kai, it sounds like you're in a very difficult situation," Yuna said.
"We take these matters seriously, and we'll look into it. In the meantime, I suggest you avoid being alone as much as possible and stay with your friends informed of your whereabouts. If Hina sees you alone, she might think that you're ignoring her, and this would hurt her heart and trust." Naomi added, while drinking a small cup of coffee.
I nodded, feeling a slight sense of relief. At least now, someone else knew what was going on.
"You're right… but I have a question." I said.
Yuna and Naomi looked at me in curiosity.
"Yes, what is it?" Yuna asked.
"Well…" i gulped and felt a shiver down my spine before asking the question. "Are the rumors about her true?"
That question seemed to have caught Yuna and Naomi off guard.
I saw their eyes widening , maybe because they got scared by what i asked.
"Well… rumors are still rumors, Kai." Naomi replied.
"You shouldn't believe them… but the murder case is real." Yuna added with a direct and cold tone of voice. "Two students really died in this school. It happened in a class that's now locked and not accessible to anyone."
Yuna's revelation actually caught me off guard and i felt a grip around my heart.
It was like someone was playing with it.
But it was a feeling of anxiety and fear.
Scary stories always scared me , since i was little.
Maybe it was because of my wild imagination since i want to be an artist.
"And… the guy who died… was…" i tried to say, but I couldn't finish my phrase.
"Yes. It was Hina's ex boyfriend. Voices even said that they used to live together…" Naomi said.
I swallowed some saliva and remained silent in shock for some seconds.
Meanwhile, Hiro was listening very carefully at us while peeking sometimes out from the room, to see if someone was coming.
"So, rumors are still rumors but… " Yuna then got closer to me.
"You should be very careful around that girl, Kai. I care about you." She whispered into my ear while walking out from the room.
After some moments, Naomi did the same and folllwed her , but not before saying something important to me.
"If something happens, just send a message to me where it's written:"I'm not ready for the math test , can you help me?" " Naomi whispered into my ear.
Ah well, I was in such a bad situation.
After that, the school day proceeded normally and at the end of classes, Hina waited for me outside the school and we walked together towards our homes.
There was a feeling of unease in the air and i wasn't feeling 100% myself during my time with her.
Maybe the rumors, her clingy and possessive behavior or maybe the fact that I wasn't used to be in a relationship , didn't make me feel at ease with myself.
Hina still pretended not to notice.
All she did was clinging to my arm and walking normally, acting like a normal couple would.
Then, we returned home after parting ways.
Me and Hina didn't talk a lot during our walk, we only walked normally… or automatically.
That evening, I received a call from Hina.
Her voice was soft, almost pleading.
"Kai, can we meet? I just want to talk." She said.
We already met after school and she had the chance to talk… but she didn't want to say anything…
Her call was strange.
I hesitated, but decided it might be best to try to keep things calm.
"Alright, Hina. But only for a short while because I still have to study."
We met at the park again, the place that had become a backdrop for our tense conversations.
Hina looked different this time, her eyes tired and red-rimmed.
"Kai, I've been thinking a lot," she said quietly.
"I don't want to lose you. I'll do anything to make this work."
Her vulnerability tugged at my heart, but I knew I had to stay strong.
"Hina, I care about you deeply. You're the only girl I like in this world but we already talked about this. I have my things to do and meanwhile I'd like for you to to work on trusting me, and I also need some space."
She nodded, tears streaming down her face.
"I understand. I'll try, Kai. Just... don't forget about me. You've been cold lately… I'm trying my best for you…" she said.
A sense of guilt wrapped my heart and i hugged her by instinct.
"It's okay, Hina. Couples also have moments like this… i think?" I said while trying to calm her down.
Despite her tears and her soft mood, something was still feeling off.
It was like there was an aura around Hina… but not a good one… there was a menacing aura.
"Maybe I've been too influenced by the rumors." I said to myself, trying to convince my soul that Hina was only an insecure girl who lost her ex boyfriend in a horrible way.
As we parted ways, I felt a glimmer of hope.
Maybe this little moment of distance between our souls could help us to find a healthier way to be together.
But deep down, a part of me couldn't shake the fear that things might never be the same again.
Over the next few days, I kept my distance from Hina, focusing on my studies and spending time with friends.
She still sent messages, but they were less frequent, and she seemed to be respecting my need for space.
One afternoon, as I was walking home from school, I found a letter in my locker. My heart raced as I opened it, fearing the worst.
"Kai, I know I haven't been easy to deal with. I'm working on myself. Please meet me at the park after school . I have something important to tell you. – Hina"
Despite my better judgment, curiosity got the best of me.
I decided to meet her, hoping that this time, things might be different.
When I arrived at the park, Hina was already there, sitting on our usual bench. She looked calm, almost serene.
"Kai, thank you for coming," she said softly.
I sat down beside her, keeping a safe distance. "What did you want to tell me, Hina?"
She took a deep breath, her hands trembling slightly. "I've been seeing a therapist. I'm trying to get better, to control my jealousy and possessiveness."
Her words surprised me, and for the first time in weeks, I felt a glimmer of hope.
"That's good to hear, Hina. I'm proud of you."
She smiled weakly.
"I know I have a long way to go, but I want to change, for you, for us."
We talked for a while longer, and for the first time, it felt like we were making progress. As the sun set, we stood up to leave.
"Kai, I know this doesn't fix all the stress that I've caused you, but I hope it's a start…" she said, her voice was hopeful.
I nodded, feeling cautiously optimistic. "It's a start, Hina. Let's take things one step at a time."
Then, I hugged Hina and gave her a small kiss on her lips like I wanted to say "I'm proud of you."
She was truly happy about that little but deep sign of affection.
As I walked home, I felt a sense of relief.
Maybe, just maybe, things could get better.
But I also knew that only time would tell if Hina could truly change.
Then, when I arrived home, I turned on the Television and saw the TV news appearing in an emergency communication.
"Uh…? What's that?" I asked to myself.
There was a video of an house burning in fire.
The reporter was saying that this event happened one hour ago.
I was surprised in some way.
In my city, things like this don't happen often.
Then, while i was slowly undressing , I heard something coming from the tv that made my heart go on panic.
"It seems like that there's a guy standing outside the house. He looks like he's dead… Authorities say that his name is… Hiro Yamamoto! The son of Hiroshi and Mei Yamamoto!!" The voice coming from the TV said.
In that moment , when i heard Hiro's name, i felt my pupils becoming small and i had a panick attack.
I couldn't breathe properly and i was almost on the verge of fainting.
I was shocked after hearing Hiro's name on the TV.
I was on the verge of crying.
In the blink of an eye, i stopped my undressing to run directly to his home… scared for what might have happened…
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