/ Movies / Marvel/Xmen:Yuta Okkotsu
摘要
Transmigrated as a mutant with a variant Yuta Okkotsu’s abilities.
標籤
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2.69
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寫檢討The main character is too dumb ...................................................................................................................
Threw it in the trash when the Rogue copied the main character's improved ability to copy abilities and also received all his powers and cursed energy
This feels more like a draft that need to be fleshed out more than a end product chapter, but good idea. This is all my own opinion to take this advice however you want.
Honestly Dropped the moment Rouge copied all of the MC powers and even got access to his cursed energy which comes from his own dimension ( like Durmamu ) and got access to his Libary which comes exclusively from the system
É apenas um MC invencível esperar o que disso? ---------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
Naze [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
The protagonist is too op.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
You can write other works, without any problem, in fact it is even positive that you write other things besides the work you are publishing. But the big problem is that you are definitely a beginner and DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY to commit to publishing several works at the same time. Many professional writers don't have it, why would you? Be humble. You will be JUST another author who wanted to embrace the world, you won't be able to, you will receive a storm of negative reviews, insults, etc., and then you will stop writing because you no longer feel pleasure from it.
揭示劇透The author ruined his own story, bruh [img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp]
So guy gets titans power, then gets taken to X mention, steals powers, he thinks he’s the best then the sentinels stack he copy’s cyclops powers then goes for rogue but “mistakenly gets toughed” by her so he has all his powers to his mastery and will be able to go to the curse dimension soon, i don’t like this manly cuz now there’s not much going for him, and now all the X men are after him probably cuz he lied to them even tho he saved them?
It was doing soo well.. Then the mc became Too predictable and greedy. You copied JEEAAAANNNN!!!!!!! I mean Jean's power. You could have, I don't know use telekinesis to get the blood samples instead of attacking the Previously-men during the Sentinel invasion. B-b-but anon he hasn't trained using telekinesis yet. then git good. Also Rouge getting a Copy of MC's power then begins to explain all of the current powers of the MC was the last nail to the coffin and it's only been 6 chapters in
[translated by Google] I like the concept, but please for those who read this and are writers, stop making the 10k word chapter, you ruin the reading experience, when you go to read in the classification section you expect the fanfic to have a moderate amount of chapters, I only give 5 stars because I like the idea
Good idea and concept but too few chapters to tell but here’s my obligatory 5 stars for promising novels
the idea is good, but as other people have written, you need to differentiate the writing a little chili 'for conversations" and also 'for thoughts" good luck :)
Dropped when Rogue got all MC's powers what a shame it had a good start ............................................................... ...............................................................
作者 Ash_D_Born
The writing is good and some-what bad in that the author tends to only write the "action" scenes and everything else is just summarized with internal monologue. So it's a 3-4 out of 5, the Grammer is OK though as in I haven't seen any egregious misspellings. The thing with the Quotations is bothering me though. I'm only surface level on Marvel lore in that I have seen the MCU movies and the older pre-MCU, Foxes X-men and Raimis Spider-man. So nothing from me on that front. JJK on the other hand I know about, so Yuta not having Rika at first is abit weird, Rika is bound to Yuta. Also Sukunas CT is not called "Cleave & Dismantle" it's called "Shrine" C&D are a small part of it. As of chapter 2 he should know RCT because of Rika. The Cursed Dimension is a good way to include Curses and Cursed energy into Marvel though so props to that. Despite the criticisms I look forward to more, take it with a grain of salt P.S. I want more of a Despresso-Espresso MC because y'know Yuta a depressed boi.
揭示劇透